-[Depression and Sadness]-

Hello.

I was diagnosed with Depression 15-Years ago. I have been on meds since.

Over the years, sometimes the medication helps, sometimes not so much.

I recently switched my anti-depressant and am taking Remeron; It does seem to help. It seems to be working.

But, I still feel sadness. Why? It is a long story and concerns many factors.

I am sad for my life and for the lives of others'.

I also have Asperger Syndrome (High-functioning Autism) and have very few friends. (Difficulty making friends is an element of this condition). I live alone and besides my cats, spend A LOT of time alone. I work from home as a community forum manager for a company so I am not forced to even leave my apartment to work. It's both a blessing and a curse. I never leave the house.

The sadness invades and consumes. I picture my future days and figure the best is behind me. I am just trying to survive.

-Matthew

I understand the blessing and curse of working from home as I did it for awhile. Being prone to isolate anyway it just made it that much easier but it allowed me to work when I was in bad shape. Even though I am very comfortable alone and isolate I find that after awhile I crave human contact. I have to get a minimal amount. I think online counts to a certain degree but it is not the same a direct contact. Even if I go to the grocery store and don't say a word it seems to help. At least I left the house.

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Hello & Welcome, TragicKingdoms.
Does your depressive sadness ever lift, even briefly? Are there times you are more "empty" than sad?

Please make yourself at home here.

Hi Rohag,

Thank you for your response.

Yes, the sadness does lift-- it comes in spurts. And then it dissipates for awhile.

Yes, sometimes I feel just empty. This may be more prevalent than the sadness, actually.

Regards,
Matthew

Do you want to be leaving your house? I mean this might not apply to you but I know with me if I am feeling crappy being inside the house too long just makes it worse and makes me feel stagnant....so even if I just go sit outside of my house for a while to get some fresh air that helps or even just a short walk, but there's other places I go. I don't know i just notice its like if I am stuck inside all the negativity builds up and is just floating around causing a stagnant feeling so its like i have to go outside to let that out, get some fresh air instead of breathing the stagnant 'depressed' air.

But yeah I've had depression for a long time and have Aspergers...and my depression hasn't really gotten any better various meds I've tried do nothing for it or do nothing for it and cause unpleasant side effects.

Hi, Matthew. I work from home, too. And you're right: it's both a blessing and a curse. I know I should be more active socially, but feel to exhausted to hold up a conversation. One thing that sometimes helps is to go to an event with other people where I don't have to actually interact with them. For instance, last weekend I went to my town's weekly farmer's market. They had a band playing. i sat on the lawn and listened to the band and watched all the little kids playing. It helped a little. Sending you hugs.