[pinkfloydfan617]

Im starting to feel a little bit sad and i need to post this on here to vent and feel a little better. Im a 21 year old male soon to be 22 years old and i have a common problem that depresses many of us and the problem is romantic loneliness. It is embarrassing to admit that at 21 years of age i have not had a girlfriend. Ever since i was a high school student i wanted to be in a relationship nothing seems more amazing to me than being intimate and in love with another person. I am tired of being friend zoned i am tired of being a third wheel. This situation has gotten so sad that my family is starting to question my sexuality. They are starting to think that since im 21 and havent had a girl yet that i may be gay. I wish they knew that i would have a girlfriend if i could. I started to party and drink in hopes of maybe socializing with women and finding someone. Every-time i go to a club i get rejected and its taking its toll on my self esteem and confidence. Im having a hard time listening to virtually all my friends talk about their girlfriend or their girlfriend problems. I awkwardly pretend i can related with them. Im starting to think that its not going to happen for me im gonna be single for life. If i cant get a girlfriend how will i even get married and start a family one day. Im a failure and i can only ignore this urge so long before i come crashing down with a major depressive episode againm

[kaliope]

I know you probably don't want to hear this, but you are still young, there is plenty of time. girls are attracted more to somebody with self confidence so work on that. my son is 25 and he has always been in the friend zone and ive never known anybody to question his sexuality.welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Abe Froman]

I don't have specific dating advice except that the club and drinking may not be the best place to find intimate love. I spent 15 years in the service industry(bar and restaurant). All the late nights I witnessed never really spawned true love.

I would suggest other areas to look for a truly good woman. Church or temple or whatever your faith may be, you could attend functions with those people. Look for a related singles group in your area. Just get out and join some activities for people in their early 20's. And honestly, think about the online dating sites, the quality ones, but be honest on your profile and pictures. You are appealing to some woman I promise, but misleading them in any way won't work, it will just turn them off. I'm not saying you would do that, just speaking from past experiences with friends and what not.

I'd say bottom line, don't try to look at every woman you meet as whether she's Mrs. Right or not, just introduce yourself and have a good conversation. Meet as many people as you can, when you aren't looking, that's when it's most likely to happen I think.

Best of luck to you.