[Crook32]

I hate how irritable I am. My fuse isn't just short it practically doesn't exist. I find myself yelling at my kids and I hate that. I am so worried I might say something to them that I will regret. I feel like punching walls.

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[Mikeyboy]

Sorry you're feeling this way. I can relate, I feel like I have no fuse at all as well. The slightest thing elicits a negative reaction from me these days. Hope you feel better.

[morganjane]

I can sooo relate. I think a lot of my depression comes from repressed anger. I work customer service and there are just some days I want to put my fist through a wall. Every website I've read says things like "learn to deal with your anger in healthy ways" but I have yet to find anyone to tell me how that works or what it's supposed to look like.

[morganjane]

How old are your kids? Are they old enough you could talk to them about your depression, let them know that it's causing the irritability and isn't their fault?

[Crook32]

They are 6 and 3 so they don't really understand

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[ombrétwilight]

Ah, the short fuse of depression I get so damn irritable too and give sarcastic replies to my friends when I feel like they're saying dumb things, which is all the time when I'm in this mood. Afterwards I get a little guilty but it secretly soothes that little beast within LOL. I'm even more short-tempered with my family but then and again they have been the root cause of all my issues...

[flours]

yeah, I know that, too. additionally I get more frustrated by people whom I've told about my depression and they still do insensitive stuff. it makes me mad because I told them so they should be more careful about what they say or do. and I don't mean it in a complicated way. just they should not cancel meetings last minute because they just feel like it and I end up crying alone at home or they tell me a list of what they think is wrong about me. that kind of stuff would really be nice not to do to someone with depression.
I'm trying my best not to freak out so much but I have a weird feeling that I am not around the most understanding kind of people. sort of hard to figure out if it's me who is reacting inappropriately or if they are being rude. or if I should also start being rude in that way because everybody does it. actually I think they don't ****ing care. they don't care if they worsen my condition or if I'll be better or be dead some time. as long as I am driving them with my car and borrowing money for drinks. as long as I am convenient to them. I guess there is not more to these "friendships" than that. and I am still grateful if I can see people at all. so it doesn't matter how they treat me.
anyway, some days everything anybody says makes me angry just because of the noise.