[Mel2809]

I feel like at this moment this is my last resort!! I have been struggling for so long now that I know longer know what happiness is. My walls are quickly closing in around me. I am told to write positive affermations and put them on my mirror...I can't think of anything positive to say. My therapist says this is good that I am finally feeling all these feelings. That once I get through all of this and to the other side I will be greatful. But I'm not so sure I can make it through to the other side. Everything I look at I see as something that can help end it. Every where I go I am looking for how I can do it. I really don't want to but I am scared that one day one of my personalities will take over and that's it. I am so tired of fighting through every day!! Especially all by my self. Im tired of the pain, the numbness, the hurt, the fog, the confusion. I'm just tired!!

[kaliope]

so, mel, are you to the point that you feel you are unsafe enough that hospitalization may be needed? I know that is a scary thought, but sometimes it is best as a last resort. I know it helped me at my darkest hour and I got stablilized on meds and things slowly got better. I can promise there is a way out of the darkness with the right meds and therapy. I never thought I would find a way out but my life totally turned around. hang in there.

[Sprite22]

As much as I hated it I had to go to the Hospital. It gave me a way to heal and be fed all at the same time. The hard part is realizing you need that kind of help. Good luck...hope you hang in there, and find the help if you need it.

[waterknob1234]

I understand how you feel. There are days the pain is so heavy it seriously wears you down. I have been there. Find a way to stay safe. There will come a time when the depression will lift.