[Timeforhelp]

I have had Major Depressive Disorder now for Years. I also Suffer

from anxiety, PTSD, and OCD! I think that hardest part I am going through

right now is getting through the Suicidal and Self Harm Thoughts. Very rarely

do I get to plan and action. I suffer from nightly (and I mean every night) Flash

backs of my Childhood abuse. From the time I was three years of age until I

was 17 years old I experienced Mental, Sexual, and Physical abuse. When my

Step father passed away on the operating table I just stuffed it inside for over

18 years. The summer of 2009 we moved into a new house and I started

unpacking stuff that I have not seen in years and it was like a time bomb.

Everything just started flooding out like a river. I've been in and out of mental

hospitals for the last five years, the most recent one being Aug21st through

Sept 3rd. I have a great Therapist but am currently looking into changing my

Psychiatrist because I do not feel relaxed when I am in his office. I have no

fight in me for myself! The only reason I am still here is because I want to live

for my husband and 18 year old son. The pain is so powerful and hearing that I

need to let it go and move on or they are not hear anymore to hurt you, does

not make me feel any better. I need to talk about what happened. I am doing

that with my Therapist but as she and I agreed I have about Three closets full

of crap to clean out and it's just going to take time.

Well there is my story in a nut shell!! I hope I can get the support I need to

get through this. Please help me. If not as friend then just a fellow supporter

that might understand the pain I am going through and how long it's going to

take to get back to where I feel Healthy again.

Until later,

TimeforHelp

[Blue_Bird]

Hi Timeforhelp, thanks for sharing your story. I'm sorry for all that you've been through. Are you in therapy? If not, that may be a place to start getting help. I wish you the best of luck.

-Take care,

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Timeforhelp. I'm glad you've found and posted in several of the forums here. Your set of challenges overflow in many directions. I hope you have uplifting interactions here and perhaps find ideas to make life easier.

Please make yourself at home.

[Abe Froman]

I share some of the long term issues that you do. I just want you to know that even though no one can know what it's like to walk in your shoes, there are lots of us walking right beside you. You'll find lots of support here. Talk about anything any time and I'll be listening.