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#1
Oct 11, 2014, 11:43 PM
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I wrote here a few months back, and with some moral support from you guys, I thought I can really leave my past behind. I thought I can start anew... But I recently saw the guy who I insulted in the hallways. He stopped right in his tracks and walked the other way, a very fast U-turn if you ask me. I expected this as a normal result from my berating but.... it's just painful to see...
This isn't the first time he avoided me. There were several other incidents where we were both invited to someone's birthday party, he abruptly bailed probably because he found out I was going. I know he doesn't want to hear my apology and does not want anything to do with me. I know I'm extremely hated... I even stopped my contacts with my friends for a year, so they can forget about me. I went to a new school, and hoped that they will be gone when I go back. I feel like I'm starting to go back into depression. I can't focus in class because I'm worried about seeing him again...I'm worried that he might be telling other people about all those bad things that did... I just don't know... Last edited by Aracela; Oct 12, 2014 at 12:04 AM. |
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#2
Oct 12, 2014, 09:12 AM
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Can you write an apology letter and get it to him somehow. Making ammends for things we have done in the past and self forgiveness are key things. there are other ways to make ammends too. The biggest one is changing behavior and not doing the same thing again. It takes along time and work to put the past behind us. it has a way of creeping back up in your face.
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
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#3
Oct 12, 2014, 12:23 PM
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People bullied you for years in your childhood and adolescence. You are trying to come to grips both with that past and with your unsuccessful attempt(s) to stand up for yourself.
I suspect that, in the long term, your major struggle will be overcoming the experiences and socialisation of your early life. Still, it hurts to have constant reminders of the more distant past and the more recent past. 
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My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
Last edited by Rohag; Oct 12, 2014 at 02:43 PM. |
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#4
Oct 12, 2014, 02:29 PM
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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