[ShantheArtist23]

I'm so sad today. I've been unhappy all week. It's ruining my life. I've been having throwbacks of all these bad things that have been happening. I just want to be happy. I have so much going for me though! Graduating in May, going of to college... but what my mom did to me... the way she handled things. Those wounds will not heal. She might be the nicest person ever now, but that's not who I see when I look at her. I see a gross human being. And for that I'm probably facing an eternity in the darkest depths of ****. I'm so afraid of that. The Angels tell me I'm good and holy but why don't I feel like that? I'm so sad. One day I'm afraid I'm gonna break down crying again and I won't be able to stop. I talked to my therapist yesterday and left feeling worse than ever. We didn't talk about anything real productive and I was too afraid to bring anything up. How can I still be so unhappy?

[Pierro]

Hello Shantheartist, I am so sorry that you are so sad. Would it be improper of me to suggest that you have therapy with your mother. You cannot go back and change the past but you can learn to deal with it. As you said yourself you have so much going for you and you deserve to be happy and move forward. Maybe you and your therapist are not suited?

Best wishes

[ShantheArtist23]

That's what I was thinking... The therapist I see now says she's kind of in the same boat I am... so maybe mental patient trying to get help from someone like me isn't working out so well... They kind of made the Decision for me, to go back to this therapist. She's awesome but I don't think I'm being helped anymore. I'm done for. :'(

[WantToGrow]

ShantheArtist23, I am so sorry for your situation, and I'm in a similar place, though with many more years behind me than you. I want you to make it out of this so that you can enjoy the years ahead of you. I've had therapy in the past and here I still am, so I clearly didn't have the right therapist, the right kind of therapy, etc. I get discouraged that therapy is expected to be a years-long process. I'm curious as to whether you are on any medications? I don't have answers for you but am feeling for you, and want you, and me, to feel better. The messages that our parents inadvertently gave us can be so damaging and difficult to recover from, but we have to try. We have to triumph!

Hugs to you, my dear :-)

[vital]

Originally Posted by ShantheArtist23

That's what I was thinking... The therapist I see now says she's kind of in the same boat I am... so maybe mental patient trying to get help from someone like me isn't working out so well... They kind of made the Decision for me, to go back to this therapist. She's awesome but I don't think I'm being helped anymore. I'm done for. :'(

Dear Shane. I k n o w where you're coming from. Here is what worked for me

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

you can skip down to "SNAP CLUB" if you want to just give it a try. Take care in any case.