[anxiousdepressed]

I have been feeling very overwhelmed by life in general as I suffer from Bipolar II disorder, which is characterized as hypo-manic episodes followed by episodes of depression. Right now I am in a depressive state and am experiencing suicidal ideation (I am not going to commit suicide, I just feel so overwhelmed that I feel like dying would be a relief). I work in the mental health field as a peer counselor and it's getting really hard for me. I have social anxiety as well and being around people all of the time is mentally and physically exhausting for me. I need to work though so that my husband and I can keep up with our bills, plus my job is rewarding because I am helping people. But I'm falling short of taking care of myself in the process. I basically run our household, am in charge of our finances at home, then go to work and have added pressures. I feel that at any minute I could just break and everything would fall apart. My husband also has a mental illness and works full time, he contributes in that way but he has his own issues that I also take on. So with my life pressures plus trying to manage my symptoms (which in itself can feel like a full time job) are just consuming me and I feel there is no way out. I have physical pain too, headaches, muscle aches, just overall fatigue. I see a doctor regularly to monitor my meds but I need to be in therapy as well but have not found the time. That is why I am on this board because I just need to put this all out there to vent to anyone that may read this. I'm not really seeking advice because I know what I should be doing as I work in the mental health field, I just need to put this out there that I AM STRESSED OUT. Life is just so hard sometimes. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this.

[gma45]

So sorry this is how you are feeling anxiousdepressed. I know the feeling sometimes life can feel so overwhelming. It sucks when we let ourselves get to that point. I know you are not seeking advice but you do sound like me and I think maybe we both need some ME time! I was blaming the way I was feeling on the weather changing because this is that time of year when I start to sink a bit. I have noticed myself just wanting to cry and feeling pretty worthless. Just wanted to let you know I took the time to read this and I can relate.

[gloamingone]

I remember the feeling all too well. Being a single mom and working an hour away when my youngest was only a few months old. It was really hard, so I totally feel for you. People would tell me I just needed a vacation, but when I'd take one, everything was waiting for me when I got back. It didn't help much. I hope you get a chance soon to get into therapy. If mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy!

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[regretful]

Vent away...these mood disorders are so terrible. I'm in the mental health field too; doesn't make us immune to the problems. I hope that things improve for you and your family.

[Idiot17]

Go ahead and vent! (((((hug)))))

[waterknob1234]

Hi anxiousdepressed. So much of your situation sounds like me. I work in health care and I work 10 to 12 hours a day and always stay behind in my clerical duties. I have suffered depression as well. It sounds like you have a lot to deal with. Hugs and love to you. We are here to support you when you need to vent.

[Altered Moment]

Vent away. It helps.

[Fuzzybear]

[Nammu]

[MotherMarcus]

vent away. There's always someone here to listen.