[Browncurtains]

Ever since I've joined PC I've been taking the depression quiz most weeks to try and track my moods. I know it's not perfectly accurate or a diagnostic tool, but I just need an opinion on my scores. They have been going down a lot recently....
I'm just wondering, has anyone else kept track of their scores?
Mine in order:
36, 34, 36, 32, 37, 42, 38, 43, 44, 44, 46, 47,
And this last one I took today. 58.

[kaliope]

it looks like they are going up, not down, but I assume that means things are getting worse? I am not familiar with the quiz or how it is scored. I take the sanity score once a year. my first year it was 80, then went down to 40, and then jacked up to 125. it does reflect the additional stress and anxiety I have going on in my life right now. I assume the depression quiz would do the same thing. it would reflect your mood at the time you took it and so this would indicat that you are slipping further into depression if the higher score means more depressed.

[Petra5ed]

I just took it and scored 51, and I feel pretty depressed... I would say try to get on meds or see a therapist. I'm going to do that.

[lock16mm]

I'm in the mild to moderate depression area too. Although it sucks, I think it's actually not the worst place to be in. Suffering enough to want to make a difference in your life, but not unbearable.

[Browncurtains]

Yes, sorry I meant I was feeling more down and my scores were going more up. Thanks for the feedback.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Browncurtains, I'd say that it's real good that you're keeping a track of how you're feeling. And while depression can sometimes be completely unpredictable and really blindside you from nowhere, it can sometimes help to catch when you're gradually slipping into............It can help so much more to step in and try to "do something" to catch it sooner rather than later if.......e.g. see your doctor, get appointments moved forward..........
I'd just suggest that next to your scores you keep a log of any events, activities, experiences......any things you think have been significant in that period. Maybe things that could have triggered feelings........maybe things you've done you think have helped your scores/or helped them not get higher............maybe things you've really wanted to do but not done in that period........whatevers significant to you.
Then maybe you'll have a bit more of a baseline to see what needs addressing, different things to address problems, things to try and avoid, things which help more so you can focus more on those things..........that sort of thing.
Stuff like that can really stand out when you look at it as a "bigger picture".
Might not go anywhere as sometimes depression "just is" but you never know.
And, I notice the last weeks haven't been going so well for you, I'm sorry. Do you want to talk a bit about it.............?? We're here for you if you do..........
Alison

[Browncurtains]

Thanks. I would love to talk about it. I try to keep a book of all the things I do in a week, but I don't really have a lot of time to, plus I'm not very good with doing things I'm supposed to. I tell my mind "I have to do this today!" And I end up doing nothing all day. I know a lot of my issues come from my family but there's not much I can do to get away from them. I'm a very introverted person so trying to deal with people is not my strong suit.

A lot of times when I took this test I was really depressed but other times, even when I felt happy, I was surprise about how high my score was. I have a very hard time making myself face my life. Getting out of bed is a battle for me. So finding out what's troubling me in life and deal with it would really take effort I feel I just don't have. I don't even really know why these last few weeks have been hard. My family is just constantly busy, and I guess I'm mostly just angry I'm not busy with them. Does that make sense?? A lot of times I feel like they never understand me, or how things they say or do hurt me so much. And that really makes it hard...My mood can just randomly plummet to the point where I just sit there an think of all the horrible things I've done, and what I haven't done, and I'll just be so angry at my family. Angry at them for hurting me, for not noticing how much I'm hurting, and for being able to be happy.
I don't know if a lot of this makes sense but I hope it does.

[Frankbtl]

Hi, Yes Browncurtains it makes sense
Few bits to go on though so bear with me..........
Firstly thinking about the horrible things you've done..........well your moods going to be a bit responsible for those thoughts, but maybe try to remember at the time you did those things there were real reasons behind them, right?? Very real reasons..........you were hurting, you felt they weren't there for you, you felt there was no other way than to...........they weren't deliberate, right?? And in a way some of those things could have been an expression of your need for help/support. So please try not to "beat yourself up" over them too much.
And perhaps you're feeling quite isolated/separate from them/on your own with them just carrying on with their daily routines/with their lives while you............but do you think you could tell them a little of what you're feeling?? Just a little?? Now I know it's probably going to be really hard for you to "find the words", but perhaps when you're alone you can start to write down bits of how you're feeling/the effects some things have on you/what you need or what might help a little??? Even copy some bits from things you've said here. And you don't have to come up with something entirely "logical" because depression isn't always "logical"..........just something that means something to you.............and then either tell them or show them some of what you've written.
And this..........."So finding out what's troubling me in life and deal with it would really take effort..........", know exactly what you mean there
That's kind of why jotting things down might help a bit............because sometimes it can be the 4 or 5 "little" things/things you might think are kind of insignificant that can have the biggest impact..........and writing stuff down.......well there's no denying those things then.
And you're right, working out how to address things and managing to actually address things can be so much easier said than done............but then you've got us behind you to help you with that too
I'm not necessarily saying that there's ever any easy answers but............maybe together things can be a bit easier.
And you know even if you've got real reasons to feel the way you do...........there's real stuff triggering that.........you're reacting to real stuff.........that doesn't need to take away from the fact that you are depressed. That doesn't mean to say that you're in less need of support e.g. from a doctor, from a school counselor.........I'd say you deserve some help, hey??
Alison