[jefftele]

over the past few years i have been slowly unpicking the many reasons for my depression first i did what most people do and that is find someone to blame!!! my parents got the full force of it first my father then my mother ,there was a good reason for bashing them as they were abusive in many ways i unpicked my patterns through therapies,i still remained depressed even with all my insights,medication has helped me a little but the depression has never gone away.i then had a look at the company i keep most of these were depressives i am sort of locked in to depressive thinking when i think of friends old and new, what were they? --depressives or just plain miserable i now am thinking that i really need to put their negativity out of my life ,and hopefully i may improve.'like draws like' at times and my father is a depressive who was my first teacher! i am not going to lose my friends its just that it seems we were all wallowing in each others misery,it could be a sign too that i am getting better i'm 51 now i feel its a pity it has taken me so long to discover this i wonder if this is a common thread with people and depression?

[Direction]

Your self reflection I hope will help you...

I'm not sure about being a common thread as there are countless ways how each of us got to and struggle out of depression...

[EJ711]

Jeff,

I think the important thing is that you arrive at revelations, and have the courage to make changes. I don't think the time to get there is as important, just that you do get to new junctures in your thinking.

I recently showed someone, who had called herself my friend for maybe three years, to the door. She was a terrific bragger -- basically bragged all the time. After she really out-did herself in this regard, I finally said I don't need this. I've been a little lonelier, but a LOT happier -- so I know it is a good decision.

Thanks for sharing.

EJ

[Juliana]

Hi Jefftele. I'm glad you've come to a realization that may be helpful for you.

Unlike you, I have very loving and supportive parents. I was lucky enough to be brought up in a home full of love. My parents are still very strong, positive influences in my life and I can always depend on them. I am also blessed with good friends (some of whom I've known since I was 4 years old) who care deeply about me and are positive forces in my life.

I think part of my depression is due to genetics. My father has a long history of depressive episodes and so do many of my relatives on his side of the family. Most of his uncles self-medicate by being drunk all the time. His youngest brother committed suicide this summer.

So, I think I was born with a predisposition to depression. I'm trying to find better coping skills and trying to learn how to identify and express my feelings (rather than being so controlled all the time) in hopes that that will lead to less depression in my life.

[jefftele]

hi juliana i don't dismiss the genetic link there is a lot of depression and anxiety in my family i tend to agree with it .i think it extremely difficult to unthink 'depression- i never found cbt useful apart from the taking care of myself bit,but i even have trouble with that most of the time ,i do now watch what i talk about to myself and with friends to check i am not depressing myself and not colluding with their depression-i guess that a form of cbt!!