[bbygrl110615]

I go through these spells where I feel depressed. it's a cycle and I pull myself out of them normally within a couple days. However, this one has lasted longer than the others and it's worse than the others. I don't know if it's maybe because I feel like I'm not sleeping well even though I'm sleeping all night. Yesterday I felt really good, but today it's just back to this empty hopeless feeling. I know I should probably go to counseling but I wanted to try this first. Because I feel like most people who need help feel like they are shunned and having a community like this where everyone is accepted may be more helpful than going to a counselor to get diagnosed. I've been to counselors and I don't feel like they help with anything, not for me. I think it's because I was going to school for psychology and human services, so i guess it's the same as saying that doctors are the worst patients. I know I need help and support. I just think that for me, getting it from regular good ol down to earth people would be more beneficial that getting text book diagonsis. I'm not knocking anyone who does see a counselor, i think counseling is an amazing thing for some people. I actually just finally convinced a close friend to go to counseling.

I just need some coping ideas. When I do talk to anyone about how I'm feeling all they say is "you're strong, you'll get through". Well yea I am, but that doesn't mean I don't need help

Hi, welcome to pc. I'm not sure what to say. I've read through your posts, I see you have a child. Do you get enough exercise during the day to help you sleep at night? I know everything I suggest you would likely have thought of. I guess that is the problem with counseling. We kind of do know the answers, but I find having someone who really listens is the most helpful. I've gotten SOME help through dbt exercises but other than that I've had many other counselors who didn't really diagnose me with anything.
It isn't shameful to see one, and possibly after that find meds to help you. Although I'm not promoting medication.
You should be proud for accomplishing so much while having a small child. Try not to give up on school. I've seen some amazing suggestions in your introduction post.
Building a social network is important . I am just working on one. Does your child go to daycare when you are in school? Maybe you could meet with other mothers through that, or their would be Mom/tot groups to meet some, someone who could help take some of the burden of everything off your shoulders. Are your own parents able to help in any ways?

[bbygrl110615]

My daughter is in school and I attend school online for her so I don't have to spend more time away from her than i already do with working. I have a couple yoga exercises I do sometimes. I usually find that that is a great way for me to relax, I need to do it more, but it's hard when I have not motivation to do anything. I don't think it is shameful to see a counselor. I guess the ones i've seen i just haven't had good experiences with, Like i didn't feel they were listening or hearing what i was trying to say. I try to get out of the house and do things for myself with friends, but i feel so guilty about doing things without my daughter. Her dad basically abandoned her two years ago and she's just now coping okay with it, so I hate leaving her anywhere just so I can have a good time. Or if i do do something, I am thinking the whole time, wow my daughter would love this and I feel bad about going and just want to go home. I know that this is unhealthy, that I don't do anything other than work and school and my kid. Because I know i need to do things for myself, but I just feel so guilty when I do.

[angelene]

You need to cut yourself some slack. It may make you feel guilty, but some time away from your child is healthy. Taking or wanting to take that time doesn't make you a bad person.

I know what you mean about needing help, regardless of how strong you are.

Can you lean on any of your friends for some support? Do they know you're in rough shape?

[TheOriginalMe]

Are there any social groups for single parents that you could join? That way you could be doing something together and at the same you would feel less isolated.

That is a tough situation, with the dad abandoning her. I have a young teenage boy, whose dad is not there for him for years now. It is hard, and makes you feel guilty for leaving them when all they have is you to depend on.

But, at the same time, unless we are healthy we aren't doing them any favours. If you do go out and socialize, you could always bring her along to the things you said she would enjoy as well. But you do need time for you. If it could be scheduled in since you are taking an online course right now, even an hour out for coffee with a friend, or to the library for a book club or something, or take a yoga class, spin class, something during the day that gets you out with other adults.

Being the only person with your child, without other adults, can make your depression much worse. I've learned that from pretty much isolating for most of the last 2 years. I am just getting out now and trying to make friends and have hobbies. I know it is easier for me as my son is older than your daughter, but he does have learning disabilities so I'm not too eager to leave him alone either. Your daughter will be okay with you having one night a week, or even just once a month. Get a babysitter or close friend to take over. It's very tough being a single mom.