am i the only one who has this?

I am new to this place so excuse me if i am doing it wrong.

I have so much to be thankful for. My life should be awesome.

But, it isn't. I'm lucky that i have people around me that love me, that want good things for me. The problem? Me.

Give me an opportunity, i'll find so many reasons to take a pass.

The voice in my head saying " this is a good thing" is at odds with the other voice which says "this is dangerous, or, you don't deserve this...etc."

The constant battle between the voices in my head have made me miserable,isolated, ashamed and stuck.

Does anyone else have this "civil war" going on between their ears?

Any advice on how to make it stop. Thanks, toolman65

Negative self talk, is something that can be worked through, in therapy.

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You are not the only one, I have this too. I have yet to find a solution to this. Maybe what healingme4me said, therapy.

Hello. "Afraid to take the chance/risk" here! Nice to meet you! You'll meet all kinds of people here and will probably be amazed at how much we all have in common. You are not alone! Welcome to PC!

I like your phrase about civil war between the ears. Do I have it? Yes, even about posting on pc. Did I say too much, did I offend, am I off topic, on and on. Sometimes I want to scream shut up and leave me alone. Wish I knew how to silence them.

It seems to be how depression works. It tells you how worthless you are. How you don't deserve anything. How nobody loves you. And then your true self will say, but I have people that love me. I am not worthless. Every day is a struggle with the evil me.
Some tips I read:
1) Love yourself and treat yourself as you would a best friend going through the same issue
2) Talk back to the negative voice. Question it's motives. Tell it how wrong it is. Find evidence that will prove it wrong and believe in yourself.
3) Learn to accept who you are. That you are human and will make mistakes.
4) Start a journal. Write down what you feel. Just write what comes into your head. Writing it down helps give structure to the thoughts especially when ruminating.

It is a battle. And it is hard. But this too shall pass. And on days where you are too tired to fight the battle, turn to those that love and understand you. Turn to this community. Do not fight it alone. Use all the resources available to you.

Who honors those we love for the very life we live? Who sends monsters to kill us, and at the same time sings that we will never die? Who teaches us what's real and how to laugh at lies? Who decides why we live and what we'll die to defend? Who chains us? And Who holds the key that can set us free... It's You. You have all the weapons you need. Now Fight! - Suckerpunch

Hi, I'm also fairly new.
I know exactly what you are talking about. Even with small opportunities/events, this happens. One moment, I may even be excited a bit then come the thoughts. The crazy thing is that it doesn't even sound like me in my head you know? Anyways, I have no idea how to win this battle or even succeed a little bit, but please let me know if you find a solution.

thank you to all that have replied. sometimes the voice is just a whisper and other times it gets so bad i feel like i have a thousand ants crawling over my brain.

the constant struggle leaves me exhausted, miserable and quite hopeless.

if it were a broken bone or a rash, i could go to the ER, but how do you fight an idea?