[VMblue]

People tell you that you need to be honest with your feelings. Not just say "fine" but to be honest. Tell them what you are really feeling. They promise to help you and stand by you. To always be there.

And you drop the walls. Open up your heart. For the first time in ten years allow people, and yourself, to see the real you. Your fears, insecurities, and pain open for the world to see. You open your heart, place it in the hands of those that promise to stand by you.

And they get irritated and angry. How can you not control yourself? Your emotions? Your thoughts? Why are you so self-defeating? Why do you give up? How can something that happened years ago still bother you? Why don’t you try harder? Oh, it is pity-party time. Here we go, beating yourself up again. Listening to the lies. Get over it. Stop doing it. I don’t have time for this. I am not in the mood.

And you realise that it was all a lie. Nobody cares. You are allowed to feel. But only when it fits in to how they want you to feel. Only that when it suits them.
Must be a terrible disappointment to realise that you are not the strong, happy person they met. That you are not in control. That you are pathetic and weak and broken.

And you will lock away your heart. Lock away the feelings. They are not needed. Nobody needs to or wants to see them. They are just a hindrance.

I am fine. Because in the end it does not really matter.

[TheOriginalMe]

You matter and so do your feelings. I'm short on advice today, but I care.

[Altered Moment]

I think most people even if they really do care don't know how to help. They think it is as simple as just letting go and getting a grip and think they are helping by telling you that. I think we have to be very careful who we open to. They have to care AND know how to help. Listening, understanding, not judging, validating, helping us get help if we are willing.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Frankbtl]

Hi VMblue, I'm really sorry that happened to you after you managed to open up after all that time. And I know it must have been a massive step for you to do that
But I can assure you that I honestly haven't ever seen anyone opening up about their feelings on here being treated the way you were by those people.
Your feelings absolutely DO matter, and there will be people on here who do want to know, who understand, who care, and want to be there............and it can make a difference in having that sort of support.
None of the way you're feeling is a disappointment on here, and how can you be weak and pathetic when you've shown so much strength in opening up about the way you're feeling??!!!! Respect!!!!!!
So............there will be people IRL who are going to be feeling the same way towards you if you can find/link in with more of them (and you'll get some advise on here where to go) but for now if you feel more comfortable talking on here, and it is a safe place, then please feel able to tell us as much as you want/need to.............whether that's about what happened years ago, the effects, the way you feel right now..........whatever you want to tell us, because it does matter, you matter!!!!

Alison

[paperwings13]

You matter. Keep trying. Reach out to people who've depression, they understand better than those who don't. I find going to a group therapy to be wonderful support. People really open up there, and honestly know what you are going through. They even know how are it can be to explain things to loved ones and get the "you're just having a pity party" speech and to "just get over it" ( just one drives me crazy. If i could "just get over it" i flipping would!). Keep trying. You matter. Your feelings matter.

[Idiot17]

(((((vmblue)))))