[vital]

Hi everybody,

I've just noticed that Ellen Langer (Harvard Psych. Dept) and her colleague have rather strong evidence that just making decisions has a very substantial positive effect on health from a study dating from the 1970s:

Ellen Langer: Read Chapter One

Nursing home residents who made more decisions were much healthier after the study and less than half as many died as in the control group!

I think this may be related to what's happening in the snap club thread

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...ml#post4132860

Here's a recent interview which also refers to "the plant study":

http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/can-yo...ects-of-aging/

- vital

[Altered Moment]

One of the goals of therapy is pointing out to people even if they feel totally trapped and hopeless that they have choices. They may not be the ideal choices you wish you had but you still have choices. Often people feel they have none. When you realize you do have some choices it is empowering.

My 92 year old grandmother in a nursing home had to have some stuff in her small fridge even though all meals were provided. It gave her some sense of control.

My father in law (ex) just died from cancer and it happened real fast. All he wanted to do was go home and regain some sense of control. He wasn't able to.

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[vital]

Sorry about your ex-father in law zinco.

- vital

[Altered Moment]

Thanks. He had a real good and full life. He was in his 80's. He sure didn't want to give up control though. My Mom worked for hospice for many years and that was the hardest thing for people was having to give up decision making.

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[TheOriginalMe]

Iknow that making decisions helps my anxiety, or being indecisive triggers my anxiety, I'm not too sure which way round the relationship works.

With regards to choices- right now I'm facing a tough time, my choices are to be a victim, to put up a fight that I may well lose or wait and see. Wait and see isn't much of a decision but it is marginally better than indecision.

[Altered Moment]

Wait and see is a valid decision. It's like my therapist says, they may not be ideal choices or the choices we would want to have, maybe even totally crappy choices, but it is important to remember we do have them and to explore what they are.

[Altered Moment]

I think for many of us mental illness robs us of choices we would otherwise have. So sometimes they are crappy choices. If I am really severely depressed I might think....should I brush my teeth or not. Maybe I choose not to brush them. But at least I feel like I had a choice in the matter and some control. I have to consciously think about what choices I have.

I am supposed to go to therapy in a little while and I don't really feel like going. I could go or choose to cancel. If I choose to cancel I have to be willing to face the consequences or there may not be any consequences. I will go but I am consciously choosing to do so.

[TheOriginalMe]

When faced with crappy choices, I try to present the "right" thing as less complicated. I don't want to get up, not getting up means my dog will mess in the house. I don't want to get dressed, I'll be cold and can't afford the heating bill. I don't want to brush my teeth, they'll fall out and I can't afford the dental bill. So it goes on, decisions and choices, mundane but life saving. When the choices get complicated, more than two options, that's when fear and paralysis kick in, so I have to keep it simple or play the wait and see card. I know I've made bad decisions on the past by acting impulsively, so this time I'm choosing caution.

[vital]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

When faced with crappy choices, I try to present the "right" thing as less complicated. I don't want to get up, not getting up means my dog will mess in the house. I don't want to get dressed, I'll be cold and can't afford the heating bill. I don't want to brush my teeth, they'll fall out and I can't afford the dental bill. So it goes on, decisions and choices, mundane but life saving. When the choices get complicated, more than two options, that's when fear and paralysis kick in, so I have to keep it simple or play the wait and see card. I know I've made bad decisions on the past by acting impulsively, so this time I'm choosing caution.

I find it so healthy and wonderful to actively seek out decisions to make. Even tiny nonsense decisions I find are healing, calming and empowering to an amazing extent.

I'm also really noticing the winter theme of your post and a similar theme in many others on this site. Tis the season of coldness, darkness, and stressful parties. It's reminding me that I always wanted to try one of those "light boxes."

- vital

[Creative1onder]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

I think for many of us mental illness robs us of choices we would otherwise have. So sometimes they are crappy choices. If I am really severely depressed I might think....should I brush my teeth or not. Maybe I choose not to brush them. But at least I feel like I had a choice in the matter and some control. I have to consciously think about what choices I have.

I am supposed to go to therapy in a little while and I don't really feel like going. I could go or choose to cancel. If I choose to cancel I have to be willing to face the consequences or there may not be any consequences. I will go but I am consciously choosing to do so.

Its not easy making decisions when anxiety or depression are severe. Do you have trouble making decision, get highly agitated, in conflict and keep changing your mind about things, cant focus on one thing etc..

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by vital

I find it so healthy and wonderful to actively seek out decisions to make. Even tiny nonsense decisions I find are healing, calming and empowering to an amazing extent.

I'm also really noticing the winter theme of your post and a similar theme in many others on this site. Tis the season of coldness, darkness, and stressful parties. It's reminding me that I always wanted to try one of those "light boxes."

- vital

I do understand the excitement of making nonsense decisions, I am remembering the thrill of driving round Scotland with no place to stay and deciding which road I would take, east coast or west coast? It didn't matter which I did, I was on holiday, I was young and I had nowhere special to be.

I'm just sick and tired of having to make high risk - low reward decisions that have been forced upon me. You are right about nonsense decisions, there should be fun in deciding inconsequential things like what colour socks to wear. I decide to consciously appreciate a few nonsense decisions, I choose the word appreciate because pleasure, enjoyment and fun seem a bit out of reach. One decision, one choice, no deadline, I'll give it a go.

[vital]

Originally Posted by TheOriginalMe

I do understand the excitement of making nonsense decisions, I am remembering the thrill of driving round Scotland with no place to stay and deciding which road I would take, east coast or west coast? It didn't matter which I did, I was on holiday, I was young and I had nowhere special to be.

I'm just sick and tired of having to make high risk - low reward decisions that have been forced upon me. You are right about nonsense decisions, there should be fun in deciding inconsequential things like what colour socks to wear. I decide to consciously appreciate a few nonsense decisions, I choose the word appreciate because pleasure, enjoyment and fun seem a bit out of reach. One decision, one choice, no deadline, I'll give it a go.

It feels shockingly amazingly healthy, empowering and healing to do that OriginalMe. Try this: boldly snap your fingers every time you make one of your little decisions. It is almost impossible to not feel empowered and great in the moment when you do that:

SNAP CLUB

- vital

[waterknob1234]

Making decisions: Having choices would be so beautiful. So much of the time I feel I have no personal choices I can make and my world is ruled by finances and other people's expectations. It seems to me that making decisions for yourself and acting on them would feel so empowering!

I always feel I have to be careful though. I have made major decisions that I regret and I don't want to jump from the frying pan into the fire so to speak.

Maybe I will start with small decisions. I will have to read up on snap club again.

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by Creative1onder

Its not easy making decisions when anxiety or depression are severe. Do you have trouble making decision, get highly agitated, in conflict and keep changing your mind about things, cant focus on one thing etc..

It most certainly can cause making decisions very difficult. Impair judgement and so on.

Sometimes..."When in doubt, don't."

I have very much learned to trust my intuition. I have honed it and it is usually right. But sometimes I can't trust it when severely depressed or paranoid with anxiety.

The still small voice.

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