[tararara]

I'm 17. My parents have caught me time and time again smoking weed so they sent me to a program where they drug test me and force me to go to 3 a.a. meetings a week.

I don't know why but them stopping me from smoking, going to parties, and hanging out with friends has made me extremely suicidal. I have clinical depression and I've attempted suicide in the past, but I thought I'd moved past that and found peace in my smoking habits. I was truly happy smoking 2 times a day and just living live freely. Now that they're fighting so hard to control me, I'm shouting nasty things at them and refusing to change to the point where I believe I'm hurting their mental stability. My mom has threatened to kill herself and my dad is downstairs crying yet I still refuse to change. I used to believe I loved them, but how could I if I refuse to change even at the expense of their health.

I'm so angry and so miserable and I don't know why because I have money, a house, and parents who care. I am just so angry and sad all the time and I can't handle it any more. I'm having homicidal and suicidal urges, I can't stop crying, I've felt like crap every single day for the past month and I can't do it any more. I'm so confused and I just really need to not live here any more. I want to leave so I can stop hurting my parents, but they won't let me leave. I feel like I might kill someone or myself please help me

[jelly-bean]

You are certainly in a very bad place! Have you been to a Therapist lately or taken any drugs to control the depression? It might be a good idea to see a pdoc and make sure the original diagnosis is correct and that you are on the right meds. Your parents are not trying to control you, they are trying to love you and help you and I bet if you asked to see a pdoc they would take you.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Tararara.

Originally Posted by tararara

I've attempted suicide in the past...
I'm having homicidal and suicidal urges...

This is an emergency situation.

It sounds as if you were self-medicating for the depression. If your current program simply removes drugs without treating the depression in some other way, then the program's chances of success are minimal.

Depression greatly impairs a person's ability to change.

Please tell a responsible medical professional ASAP about what you are experiencing, feeling.

US Crisis Line: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

[Hellion]

Well I can see how not even being able to visit friends or have any over could contribute to those feelings, isolation is not exactly healthy. Are you in any sort of treatment now or seeing a therapist or anything? If so you could tell them how you are feeling perhaps there is help available. Sounds like your parents could use some therapy too though, but not sure they'd listen to you if you tell them that, but might help them deal with the situation better and be more understanding of where you are coming from.

Either way sounds very frustrating, sorry you are having to go through that..sounds like this current state of affairs is doing you more harm than the weed, but that's just my opinion. But if you are 17 that almost makes you 18, at the age of 18 your parents wont have as much authority...unfortunately they can 'kick you out' if they decide to some parents use that to try and enforce 'rules'. But yeah if you're really feeling like hurting yourself or anyone else now, then you need to address that immediately and then deal with the other stuff once you're a bit more stable. Not judging though I've been suicidal multiple times and have had to go to the ER, but glad I did after the fact even if going to hospitals isn't the most pleasant thing.

[Altered Moment]

I would be thoroughly angry in your situation. I know I would. Change is something you have to want to do and not be forced. If you are forced against your will you will be resentful.

I agree that you are probably self medicating for the depression. I would hope they would support you in getting help for that. I used to be a major pot head and I would say twice a day is a problem. I should say could be a problem. I am not really against weed if it really helps for anxiety or depression even though I have been a member of AA for twenty years. Obviously your parents are not going to see it that way.

At some point it will be your choice. Getting the right help right now seems the most important.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Crazy Hitch]

It's a tough situation.

You had your "independence" and then it was ripped away from you.

So you're acting out in a way that shows your parents how displeased you are.

But ask yourself this: how is this working for me? It's not, is it, otherwise you would not have posted here.

You were branching out and experimenting with new things. Around your age this can and does occur and people will try what does and does not work for them.

Incidentally I'm not sure if you're aware but studies have linked marihuana use in teenagers with depression.

There's also the view that if you smoke dope it leads to other drugs. Personally, I'm not so sure about that. It probably depends more on social circumstances and peers you associate with that engage in activities that you do.

I get you're mad with your parents.

I had a very turmulous time in my teenage years with my parents. Growing up I always thought they practically tried to stop me from doing anything. And I'd get angry at that. Like you are right now.

But now things are different for me.

I've smoked pot. When I was at university. I'd never tell my kids that. For me it was so occasional. Just didn't agree with me. It caused extreme anxiety and paranoia so I just couldn't do it.

If I found out one day that my kids were doing it, I'd go nuts. Double standards I know. But I love my kids and I wou want to see them engage in any kind of behavior that could jeopardize them in the long run.

I'm sorry you're so angry with your parents.

But somehow or other I know this phase will pass.