ex obsession

I have been having a hard time getting over my ex. I constantly think about him and I want it to stop. I find myself trying to look up anything on social media or sites I know he used in the past just to get/see any information(even though it breaks my heart to find anything).

Things ended badly and there really was no reason/explanation/closure on his end. He would often just shut down and it is like holding a conversation with a brick wall.
Although only confirmed by his actions I came to realize he really did not care about me or love me like he said he did I am having the hardest time letting go.

It is all I can think about and I just wish I could erase him from my memory.
Any suggestions on how I can stop this behavior? When I wake up I am checking/thinking about him, at work then when I get home from work

I can relate to this a lot. I too am obsessed with someone I'm trying to let go of. I wish I had words of wisdom on how to stop when I can't stop myself. Sometimes I try to distract myself by watching tv playing video games anything to occupy my mind.

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Hello rustytears: I'm so sorry to read that this has happened to you. It can take a long time to get over a break-up such as this. Probably the best thing you could do at this point, assuming you don't already have it, is to make arrangements to see a therapist. You need someone you can talk this through with on an ongoing basis for some time to come. A therapist can also help you to develop strategies that will enable you to stop searching the internet for information about your ex.
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Beyond that, I would simply encourage you to be gentle with yourself. Try not to berate yourself for what you are doing and thinking. With the passage of time, and the help of a therapist, you will heal.

I have been seeing a therapist for a number of months now (before the break up happened)
I find that I am mainly asked how I feel about certain situations. Or how did it make me feel what I thought about him.
It feels sh***y.

Sorry to hear you are going through the same thing orange, its not easy and throws my depression into high gear.

Its the hardest thing to do.. letting our ex go when we still love them so much.. its only making us even desperate cause they dont even seem to value the memories we use to had together.. they doesnt even seem thinking about us anymore.. gone just like that..

I have trouble sleeping cause whenever i sleep.. mostly ill have a dream about my ex.. be that a sweet memories dream, a wishfull dream or even a nightmare.. woke up thinking bout her, live the day minutes by minutes with my mind goes to those memories or seeing her face everywhere or simply thinking what is she doing and so..

So i know how hard it is and how painful it is.. i dont have the right answer as to how to erase this pain and to let it go the easier way.. but trying to spent time talking with someone else is what i thought could help the most.. chat with someone just about anything might can help to deal with this.. join a forum chat..(this is what i did the most) or u can pm me if u want to

I was in a similar situation. (Sometimes the urge still hits me to look him up.) I kept hoping that despite all the signs he actually cared about me. Unfortunately what cured me was something that completely broke me.

However when I finally came to my senses I was finally able to accept not just that it was over but that he really was an abusive a*hole and that it hadn't all been my fault.

I really hope it doesn't come to that for you.

My therapist suggested this to me for other thoughts but maybe it could help you.

Essentially, wear a rubber band or something you can kind of snap to get your attention then when you have a thought about him you snap it and deliberately think of something else.

I'm still not entirely sure how it's supposed to work I'm guessing some sort of distraction thing, or maybe thought training/punishment. (Which I think is kinda weird but okay lol)

Oooh, found this: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/T...Technique.html

my worst nightmare.

my "obsession" has made things worst, the person I suspected him cheating on me with is now buddy up with him.
why do I torcher myself?
I wish I could be like him and not care

I'm sorry your struggling so much with this. Sending you safe hugs if ok

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YES rustytears, I have a suggestion!

Although it's painful, I think that this can actually be an important positive experience for you if you handle it the right way. First, it might help to realize that, unlike actual depression, the obsessive thoughts about your ex ARE going to fade over time. I can say that pretty confidently since what you are experiencing is experienced by many many people including myself. One year from now, this is not going to bother you a bit except for the occasional moments when you think about the past.

My specific suggestion is to try "SNAP CLUB" right now

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

If it works as intended, it will put you in touch with that inner part of you that decides what happens in your life. In a way, this is your true inner strength; your true self; your inner source of vitality and power. This is meant to put your in control of your own life starting from which shoe you tie first to what you decide to think about and what feelings you decide to have.

Even if SNAP CLUB doesn't appeal to you, I would suggest COMBINING getting over your ex with healing your overall depression in some way. Whatever you are thinking about trying to do to improve your depression, do it NOW.

- vital

How long has it been since you broke up?

just about six weeks

i actually had a wild dream a few nights ago where my ex was picking me up for a date and i actually got out of bed to see if he was there i have spoken to him in 20 years