I suck.

I'm a waste of a human being. Why was I born? What use am I to any person on this planet? Nothing.

i am sure if you polled the people around you, they would have a different opinion.

You are not a waste of a human being, I know what being depressed is, I am the same but it is also a choice. ( I know this is the last thing you want to hear). You have to make a decision not to be depressed its easier said then done I know. You have a purpose believe me you do! Christmas is the most depressing horrible time of the year for depressed folks. Stay busy that way you are not thinking, you have to turn off the emotions. God loves you also! Merry Christmas to you and I hope things get better.

((((((Ajohnson))))))

I doubt it. There are only 2 people I hang out around and I hardly even hang out with them. I'm a worthless being. There's no other way to put it. I have no purpose in life.

We're all kind of in the same boat as far as that is concerned. If you really get down to it, cut through all the BS, and get to the root of things...there really is no overarching purpose for life. It's something in our human mind that drives us to seek purpose to begin with. Fundamentally, however, the only purpose in life is that which we create.

If someone tells you that they know what the purpose of life is, they are lying...either to you or to themselves (most likely the second one). Or perhaps they have been to the brink of where you are now...saw the truth...and decided to create their own purpose.

But the real question is this...why do you need purpose to exist? What is it about having a purpose that you think would ultimately make you happy? Why do you have to have some sort of function in order to be happy?

To me the need for purpose is almost this robotic part about us. It sounds like what a machine might say once it has fulfilled its mission (if it could talk). Imagine a machine that was built solely to build a house. Once that house was finished, machine logic would dictate that it has no purpose or reason to exist anymore.

We have life. We have breath. We exist. That's really the only fundamental truth there is. Everything else is a construct that we create. You're ahead of the game in that you kind of realize this. You've seen through the nonsense that society has created for you...the paper thin reality that makes you feel like you have a purpose. Many people are duped by that and live out truly mediocre lives. You, on the other hand. by realizing this simple truth have an opportunity to make your purpose whatever you want it to be.

And the only thing standing in your way is your thoughts about how your life should be.

But why are other people happier than I am?

Because you can't see behind their mask.

You see only what people want you to see. Every once in a while you get a glimpse into what people are really feeling. There are a LOT of people who are struggling just like you. But you don't see that part of them. We're taught not to share that part with people.

That, and you just haven't accessed the parts of you that could bring real happiness into your life.

Oh so it's like when I put on my mask and hide that I am depressed from others at my school. It makes sense though. I don't want people to know how much of a freak I really am.

I agree with Anxious Mind

I think a lot of people have felt like a freak in school. I felt like that. And now looking back the 'freaks' seem to make more interesting adults.

I think we can only see parts of the 'whole self'. So a lot of the time we are oblivious to other peoples soft spots; their vulnerabilities and doubts. There have been so many times I have thought of a person as having their stuff together only find out later they have their own unique set of troubles.

This is all great and all but I still don't think any girl would waste their time on me.

Any girl or a type in particular? I am asking you this because sometimes we feel discriminated but we discriminate, too. Would you be open to date a girl that is not pretty, for example? You do not need to answer the question at all. Sorry if I am blunt, it is not my intention.

See for me, if I am not attracted to her it isn't going to go anywhere I do discriminate, however, people tell me all the time that I am attractive so I don't understand it really. It is so confusing to me. Maybe girls do like me but they just don't know me at all.

ajohnson, I don't think you suck. I think you are depressed. One thing depression does it kill our self-esteem. Underneath the depression I am sure there is a wonderful, good looking, talented person there.

And somewhere out there you do have a purpose. I think we all have a purpose but it is hard to see sometimes. Love and hugs to you.

I still hate myself though.

I bet you are attractive at least physically, but maybe there is a big gap between how others regularly see you (according to common stereotypes of beauty) and how you see yourself. It is not a rare condition, it is called body dysmorphic disorder. ( sorry I am not sure about the spelling). I believe this condition can be succesfully treated. Maybe you could find some info about it. Sending you a hug

Philosophers and scientists study this every day and it may be their purpouse.