Help

Exactly 8 months and 5 days ago, my mother died of cardiac arrest. Since then I have moved in with my aunt, uncle, and cousins. This was a difficult experience for us alone, never mind the fact that my grandmother had died of an infection about 2 months before my mom. Naturally, I am still not coping well. I have learned some things about my mother since her passing that have been more than hard to swallow. It caused me to resent her significantly. She crammed into small, cruddy hotel rooms through the latest half of my life up to now. I was ordered to stay in that room at all times. She taught me to be scared of the world and it's people. I was never allowed to invite people over, nor go visit them. I couldn't even leave the room to go downstairs to the vending machines until I was a teenager. When she got home, she'd end up finding something I was supposed to do and didn't and would yell at me and leave again. This happened most days. She blamed for messes that were mostly hers. Now, I'm at a new school, in a town tried to keep me away from (her hometown), and a friend I've made her is having problems with depression and anxiety. She's been emitted to psych wards about 4 times now for suicide attempts. Since her first attempt (caused by bullying), her parents have cut her off from the world almost entirely. She can't leave the house except for school and academic team or band. She trusts me because I understand her issues. I've tried telling her parents again and again that locking her in the house, cutting her music off, and removing her social media isn't going to help her at all. That house is a trigger. Her older sister who still lives there sexually abused her and her older brother (does not live with them but is allowed in the house ) sexually and physically abused the both of them. I want to give her this piece of advice that is crucial to her living through this hell, but a) she's in a psych ward; b) if she does come back, her parents don't trust me so I wouldn't be able to see her; and c) there isn't a single private place we could meet so I could help her. Please help me. Both of these problems are flooding my brain with triggers and I'm scared and tired and I just want this all to stop. Please, help me.

I am so sorry you have to endure such treatment. It will take time to adjust to your new life and to the death of you mother and grandmother.

Painful as it is to be excluded from your friends life, her parents are trying to protect her. I'm not sure I see a way for you to see your friend outside talking her parents in to letting you visit. Maybe as your friend's mood improves she will be allowed more freedom.

I wish you both the best.