[qwerty_kid]

Today I envisioned cutting and hanging myself during class, and the imagery was so brutally vivid I almost broke down in front of everybody. How much longer can I convince myself that these thoughts will fade in time? How can I sustain any hope? These terrible fantasies of self-destruction spring up nearly every day and I begin to dissociate from reality. I'm so scared. I can't function anymore. Schoolwork is the absolute least of my worries. The days are getting longer. I talk to nobody, and nobody talks to me (except teachers when I have to).

Humans are supposed to naturally avoid thoughts of death - nobody wants to die. Neither do I, so why can't I stop thinking about it?

[sideblinded]

(((qwerty_kid)))

I hear you loud and clear. I am here. I am sending you hugs from afar. ((hugs))

I really think it the depression talking. Do you have a T or do you take any meds? I really think it is time to seek help from a T or doctor. Please tell someone who you trust that you are having these intrusive thoughts. There is always hope.

Best wishes my dear.

[vital]

Originally Posted by qwerty_kid

Today I envisioned cutting and hanging myself during class, and the imagery was so brutally vivid I almost broke down in front of everybody. How much longer can I convince myself that these thoughts will fade in time? How can I sustain any hope? These terrible fantasies of self-destruction spring up nearly every day and I begin to dissociate from reality. I'm so scared. I can't function anymore. Schoolwork is the absolute least of my worries. The days are getting longer. I talk to nobody, and nobody talks to me (except teachers when I have to).

Humans are supposed to naturally avoid thoughts of death - nobody wants to die. Neither do I, so why can't I stop thinking about it?

Not being able to stop thinking about something like that is part of depression. I like sideblinded's advice to talk to somebody. Maybe someone at your school or, even better, your family doctor.

If you find that this describes what's happening to you

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

you might want to try the suggestions there.

I wouldn't take your thoughts about hurting yourself as something to act on. I don't even think you should take these thoughts seriously. They keep coming up just because they are self-perpetuating, so whenever you feel bad for other reasons, they keep popping up. Read the thread above for a suggestion about how to escape this loop.

This is a friendly place. Stay in touch and let us know how it's going.

- vital

[waterknob1234]

Depression makes a person have intrusive thoughts about self-harm. I agree with the others. It is time to find a doctor and/or therapist. Is there a school counselor you could talk to? If you are not comfortable talking much copy your post and take it to a counselor, therapist, doctor, or trusted family member.

[Artchic528]

I have those thoughts and I've been on medication for years and years and am seeing a therapist now. I think it's supposed to get better soon...I hope.