[Crook32]

Having a really hard time of things right now. The depression really has its grips on me. I feel like I am in slow motion and can't do anything. I just want the pain to stop. I am supposed to be starting php soon but don't know exactly when. Not knowing the details is making things worse. I called a crisis line the other night and the woman told me to just make a cup of tea and relax. It was so useless. I cry everyday. In the morning I am anxious because I have to live through another day of this. I just need it all to stop. I have suicidal thoughts but am not actively suicidal. Even without being suicidal I would even take going inpatient right now if they could make the feelings stop. Relief can't come soon enough.

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Hello Crook32: It sounds to me, from what you wrote, that going in-patient may be the appropriate step for you at this time. And you wrote that this would be okay with you. So what is stopping you, if I may ask? You mentioned you are starting "php" soon. Offhand, I don't know what that refers to. It is certainly unfortunate you received so little help from a crisis line. That is really deplorable!

Do you see a psychiatrist or therapist at the present time? If so, perhaps contacting them & letting them know how poorly you're doing at the moment might be a good place to start. Or, in the alternative, is there someone else IRL you can confide in? I think the main thing, right now, is to take some sort of positive action to address your deep depression. The chances are, it's not going to go away by itself.

I know that when you're struggling with depression the way you are, taking any kind of action to help yourself can be almost impossible. This is one reason reaching out to someone IRL may be important. They may be able to support you in taking whatever steps are necessary in order to prevent your depression from becoming even deeper & more intractable. Please reach out to someone for help. And, in the meantime, keep posting here on PC. Writing about your struggles can also be helpful. My best wishes to you...

[Crook32]

Thanks The Skeezyks. Php is a partial hospitalization program, you are in the hospital during the day but get to go home at night. So just one step down from inpatient. I would prefer that over inpatient at the moment and am just trying to hold out for that. I see my T tomorrow and hopefully get that all set up. I am not a big fan of php but I have to do something. The hope is I will start Monday. I need to get my meds straightened out we have been trying for two years to do that.

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Hello Crook32: It sounds to me, from what you wrote, that going in-patient may be the appropriate step for you at this time. And you wrote that this would be okay with you. So what is stopping you, if I may ask? You mentioned you are starting "php" soon. Offhand, I don't know what that refers to. It is certainly unfortunate you received so little help from a crisis line. That is really deplorable!


Do you see a psychiatrist or therapist at the present time? If so, perhaps contacting them & letting them know how poorly you're doing at the moment might be a good place to start. Or, in the alternative, is there someone else IRL you can confide in? I think the main thing, right now, is to take some sort of positive action to address your deep depression. The chances are, it's not going to go away by itself.


I know that when you're struggling with depression the way you are, taking any kind of action to help yourself can be almost impossible. This is one reason reaching out to someone IRL may be important. They may be able to support you in taking whatever steps are necessary in order to prevent your depression from becoming even deeper & more intractable. Please reach out to someone for help. And, in the meantime, keep posting here on PC. Writing about your struggles can also be helpful. My best wishes to you...

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