Does anyone else feel better at night?

Exactly!!! I'm lucky I live in Canada. I was able to go to what is considered an "elite" university because my grades were good enough to get admitted, I got a partial scholarship and university education is subsidized by the government here. Tuition fees are much lower in Canada because of the government subsidies. I'm still trying to pay off my student loan debt and I had to work throughout university to earn money to pay all the bills, but at least I wasn't denied a good education because my parents didn't have money. I was the first person in my extended family EVER to graduate from university. The previous generation of my dad's side of the family was extremely poor -- lived in a shack, no running water, etc. So, I'm very thankful for the opportunities I've been given.

People who are worth your time won't care what brand clothes you wear or what kind of car you drive. That's all superficial stuff. It's who you are inside that matters. Some people don't get that, but you do, and that's a good thing. People who think that money is all that matters will always feel empty inside.

P.S. Work your butt off in school and get yourself a scholarship!

Haha... I've been trying to work my butt off until recently when I've just randomly become lazy. As for scholarships I've always dreamed of getting one and going to Cornell University, but I've found out that they're extremely hard to come by. At least in America. According to my aunt, they won't even consider you unless you're extremely poor like I'm talking single mother earning $20,000 a year and I'm not that bad off. My mom recently got layed off and got another job so she had to take a paycut so she probably makes $37,000 a year and my dad probably makes $40,000 a year. And while many may consider this a lot. The cost of living in America is way too high, and so is schooling. My private grammar school cost $2,500 a year to go to and my private high school costs $7,000 a year to go to. And I'm not an only child either I have a sister that's only two years older than me so the bills just pile up. Not to mention that she's going to be starting college next year at a private, catholic college that costs $37,000 (including room and board) a year to go to, but they're giving her 50% off because she went ot a catholic school all of her life and because she got good grades (3.8 GPA.)

Ugh! Tuition is so pricey in the U.S. Your private school tuition is higher than tuition at most Canadian universities. Your dad makes about what I make and I know that's not a lot. I live on my own and certainly couldn't afford to send a child to college on what I earn. The cost of living is SO high and I'm still paying off my student loan debt.

Our student loan program leaves some kids in a similar Catch-22. If their parents make "too much money," they can't get a loan. I suppose I was "lucky" in that my parents were poor enough for me to get full loans. I also got some bursaries when I graduated from high school that were based on grades, but you had to be considered "needy" to apply.

You should do some research and see if there are other schools -- where scholarships are more plentiful than at Cornell -- where you could study the same programs. Have you talked to your school guidance counsellor about all your options? He/she might be able to tell you what sorts of things are likely to be required for various scholarships and help you prepare.

Haha... Don't even get me started on my guidance councilor. I absolutely hate him. I wish I could have gotten a different one, but you get assigned to one according to your last name and boy did I get a stinker. He's terrible with college applications (sends them in way too late) and he's extremely annoying and lazy. It's basically his job to make sure that the students that he attends to are happy and he basically does anything but that. I've had various problems with teachers and he's only done nothing at all or made it worse. Freshman year, I had a problem with my Religion teacher because she was always being a ***** to me for no reason, and on parts that were subjective and not objective she would give me low grades like i would get projects and stuff back like this: Followed directions: 20/20 Creativity: 20/20 and Quality of Work: 5/10. So everything I got back I would get like a 90 on instead of a 95 or 100. So I went down to my guidance councilor and told him this and he went and talked to her told her that I was talking about her and then the next day she held me after class and *****ed at me.

And this year my religion teacher is even more "craptactular" as you would say, she's extremely dimwitted (how she even graduated college is beyond me), she doesn't tell you how to get an A in her class she tells you what to do to get a B if you want an A you have to go way above what she wants. When she grades homework she grades on a scale of check plus = 95 check = 85 and check minus = 60. And again you have to go above and beyond the criteria to get an A. Not to mention she also grades on what everyone else did ro wrote. You could do a paper in the class before that perion and get a check plus and then spen a half an hour on another and end up getting a check because everyone else's was long too. Also, she teaches us nothing in class and expects us to know everything on the test. Earlier in the year I knew it was going to be a problem because she's a new teacher and they never know what the hell they're doing so I went down to my guidance councilor and what did he do? Nothing. He pretty much is the worst guidance councilor ever.

Oh, I'm sorry you have a craptacular guidance counsellor. I had one of those too, unfortunately. He wanted me to go to engineering school because I was very good at math (and he wished HE had been an engineer). I told him I was interested in drawing and art, but he told me there was no chance of a career in that area. So, then I told him I wanted to be an English teacher. He gave me a long lecture about how it was SO sad to see a bright mind go to waste. It wasn't until I had finished my English degree that I realized there were job opportunities in graphic design. I had never heard of the art school I ended up going to -- because my guidance counsellor didn't tell me about it when I asked him about careers for someone with artistic talents.

I wish I had done more research on my own -- and it looks like that's what you're going to have to do too. Maybe get your parents to help you too.

As for teachers whom you just can't stand? Well, there's usually not a damn thing you can do about it. I had professors in university who graded on the curve. It was infuriating, but I had to just put up with it and do my best... and look forward to not being in their class anymore. Not all teachers are GOOD teachers. Once in a while you have a great one, though, and those are the ones who will change your life. You'll never forget an exceptional teacher.

Haha... So true. My Kindergarden teacher was the nicest woman I have ever met. I actually had a crush on her even though I was only five and didn't even know the difference between a boy and a girl. Back then I think I thought that girls were people that had long hair and guys were ones that had short hair, so whenever I say a guy with long hair I thought they were weird or something. LOL

I've always liked science, but my freshman biology teacher really turned me on to it He's the most inteligent man I've ever met and partly the reason why I want to be an Anesthesiologist when I grow up. I'm thinking about majoring in Biochemistry and Minoring in Psychology, or going to a school thta offers a double major and majoring in both.

As for college searching I've done a little, but not enough.

Biochemistry and psychology -- both very interesting subjects. You should go for it! There are lots of schools where you could study both of those things. That's the great thing about university. You get to really delve into the subjects that interest you most. I think you're going to do great! You're a very bright kid... bright future.

Aww... Thanks.

P.S. I added you to my friends list because you're the coolest older person I've ever met.

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Perfectly_Imperfect said:
Aww... Thanks.

P.S. I added you to my friends list because you're the coolest older person I've ever met.

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Aw. Thanks. You put a big smile on my face. You're pretty damn cool too. I wish my nephew could make friends with someone like you.

Haha... I wish that kids were more mature like adults these days. I remember in junior high school I ate lunch with the girls because the boys were so annoying an immature. They'd practically squirt milk out of their nose every time some one said something stupid like "fart." Because of that all my friends are girls. I probably only have two guy friends. I used to have three but I lost touch with one of them because he thought that I was trying to steal his girlfriend away from him because I would play with her hair and stuff, but she was the one that was always coming up to me and asking me to so I did. Then he got way too protective over her and I pretty much called him a jackass and told him that he was being stupid. Then all three of us didn't talk for like 3 months and then I became friends with the girl again. And then I thought that I was going to be friends with another kid but I found out that he was talking about me behind my back. So I pretty much haven't had a lot of good experiences with guys for friends. I have like 100 people on my buddy list and only 11 of them are boys. It's the same with myspace.

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Juliana said:
I'm wondering if this is common amongst people with depression. When I'm just mildly depressed, like I am right now (and most of the time), I feel worst in the morning. I feel quite miserable when I wake up, brain foggy through most of the day -- sort of like I'm on auto-pilot, and then in the evening, once the sun goes down, I start to feel better... My mind feels clearer and my mood is more positive. I have been this way as long as I can remember -- both medicated and unmedicated. Am I alone in this?

Btw, it's much worse on weekends and holidays. During the week, my job kind of snaps me out of the blahs and keeps me busy and I feel quite positive and focused and I get lots done. I still feel best at night, though. When I'm left to my own devices on the weekends, I feel lousy all day -- and never get anything accomplished.

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Gee - I wish I got better at night. I do have a hard time getting up in the mornings most days and like you work gets me moving so that part of the day is taken care of, but the evening? I run out of distractions and get so lonely and just head downhill from there. Why do you suppose the evenings are better for you?

I have NO idea why the evenings are better for me. I'm usually alone in the evenings, and being alone during the day on weekends bothers me a lot. It seems like it's a chemical thing... no matter what is going on in my life, my mood improves the longer I'm awake. I think that's a big part of why I find it so hard to go to bed. I know I'll wake up feeling like crap and have to start all over again.

If I take a nap during the day, I feel miserable -- irritable, sad, etc. when I wake up. My dad is exactly the same way, always has been -- feels better the longer he's awake. Is there some sort of misery chemical that gets released while we're sleeping and it takes all day to get out of our system? I dunno. It's strange. I can wake up from a happy dream and feel pretty good for a few minutes, but as soon as I'm fully awake, the crappy feeling smacks me in the face.

The odd thing is, while I was sick for 4 years, my body seemed to go into my "natural" sleep pattern -- because I didn't have any time-related obligations. I would sleep from 4AM until noon... and I didn't get depressed during that whole time. I wasn't happy that I was sick and that my life was a mess, but I wasn't DEPRESSED. All of my feelings made sense and I felt quite good -- apart from the BPPV and agoraphobia. My mood was pretty good and stable. Once I get back on the waking up at 7AM schedule, though, I feel like crap most of the day.

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Perfectly_Imperfect said:
Haha... I wish that kids were more mature like adults these days.

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You're SO much like my nephew. He relates well to adults and his closest friends are his sisters. He has trouble being friends with boys his own age because they seem ridiculous and insensitive to him. You're both wise beyond your years. Eventually, your peers will catch up to you. Girls just tend to be more mature than boys at your age. That's probably why you relate better to them.

Haha... Girls are so much more mature than guys. The difference is so vast that it's ridiculous.

Ugh... Today sucked. Had a bad day. Slept only an hour last night. Was fine all day except last period where I fell asleep. Woke up when the bell rang wondering what happened and I felt totally disoriented. I hate falling asleep in class because you always feel gross when you wake up.

Oh no! I can honestly say I have never fallen asleep in class. I have had some of my best snoozes in movie theatres though. You should try to get a good night's sleep tonight.

Yeah... It' try to.

You've fallen asleep in a movie theater though? How did you manage that? Were you by yourself? Did you wake up when it was over? Tell me the story lol.

I have fallen asleep in many theatres -- with boyfriends, friends, my sister, etc. There's just something about a comfy seat and a dark theatre that makes me want to sleep. I have trouble falling asleep when I'm SUPPOSED to sleep, but in a theatre, it used to be so hard NOT to fall asleep. The funniest time was when I slept all the way through "Desperado." Have you seen that movie? I went to see it with my sister and she said I was out cold before the previews ended. Apparently it's a very loud movie with lots of gunfights. My sis said she kept looking at me in amazement... couldn't believe I was sleeping through that much noise. I didn't wake up until the lights came on after the movie... and I felt SO rested.

I hadn't been to a movie in years, but I went to see "Blades of Glory" last week. I was afraid I was going to fall asleep, but I ended up staying awake for the whole thing. I'm glad I did. It was SO funny.

I think I seem to feel better at night also, and really crappy in the morning/when I wake up. Later at night i'm usually feeling not as bad.

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nicole84 said:
I think I seem to feel better at night also, and really crappy in the morning/when I wake up. Later at night i'm usually feeling not as bad.

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So, are you feeling okay now? I remember we were both feeling pretty crappy earlier today. I was trying to find the energy to take a shower and you were feeling miserable.

Yeah i'm doing a little better... this tooth of mine keeps bugging me though I wonder why motivation changes throughout the day.. I always seem to wake up feeling down

You need to get that tooth checked out ASAP. You'll feel so much better once it's taken care of.

I have NO idea why motivation changes throughout the day. I wish I did. It's 3:32 AM and I'm WIDE awake... and I have to get up for work in 4 hours. I felt like crap -- all groggy and miserable and brain-foggy through most of the day even though I got 8 hours sleep Sunday night. Now I'm in a pretty good mood, but I SHOULD be sleeping.

Yeah get some snoozies hun!! Its afternoon here, so i'm not doing too bad. I need to sleep so much at night then all groggy for a couple of hours at least! Good luck sleeping

i dont understand that ..

i do feel better at night. Well, usually.

I am full of energy and ideas and my mind is racing and i am in a better mood..
but i go to bed (because it's usually like 2-3am) and then i get up at almost noon sometimes, really unhappy..
i just want to go to bed..

it makes no sense.
I think i want to find a job during the night time.

i know how you feel nicole, my tooth hurts too.. =[
lol

For me, it's like it's acceptable to feel lazy and unmotivated in the evening. Depression has no clock. If I do the exact same things during the day, I get criticized for it.

Nighttime sucks for me - I wish I could eliminate from the time my kids go to sleep to the time i go to sleep. I feel at my worst during that time.

Even work seems to be getting worse - Mornings are better, but I'm at my best with my children