Need urgent HELP

Hi all;

I have been going under lots of problems lately. here are the things, I am married with an irish girl and my family does not approve this and saying either her or us. I am currently going college and also working in an company. In the upcoming months Im thinkng to go ireland for 4-5years leave college and continue in ireland and leave job and my family behind. I am really under big pressure and dunno anymore whats good whats bad

Hi there. Welcome. This is a decision only you can make for yourself. I wish it was a clear black or white decision, but it sounds very complicated. You're going to have to weigh all the pros and cons and decide which decision feels right for YOU. You made a commitment to your wife. Is that commitment stronger than your commitment to your family? Only you can answer that question for yourself.

If you stay with your family and give up your wife, how will you feel about that? If you go to your wife and your family never speaks to you again, how will you feel about that? Which would be worse?

Hypothetically, if I were married and in love and my parents didn't approve of the person I loved, I would be very sad about that, but I wouldn't give up my spouse. I think it's unfair for your family to ask you to choose between them and your wife. I wish that they would be happy for you that you have found a woman you love. I'm sorry you're in such a difficult predicament.

thanks for your reply juliana its really appreciated. My parents were approvng in the beginning then culture difference started to appear as she is irish and im turkish its a big culture gap. Also school is giving me a big stress and I want to keep going my education in ireland im 26 years old dont think its too late to start over is it? Also im gonna work in ireland just leaving everytng behind and family,friends my life pretty hard decision to take

I can only imagine how difficult a decision that is for you. I used to work in an advertising agency and one of my co-workers, a web designer, was from Turkey. He was from Ankara. He had met a Canadian girl while she was working in Turkey. They fell in love, got married and eventually moved here to the city she was from. He missed his family and his country a great deal, but fortunately, his family was supportive of his marriage and his decision to come to Canada. So, he stayed in close touch and visited with them.

Leaving your country and your family would be so difficult. Not having the support of your family would make it even more difficult. I hope the love of your wife will give you strength, though.

As for your question about whether or not 26 is too old to start over? Of course it isn't!! I changed my mind about my career path and started a 2nd degree when I was nearly 23 and many of my classmates were older than me... and remember. You're never really starting over. You have all the wisdom and experience you have gained thus far. That stays with you.

I am sorry that you are facing sucha hard decision. It is one only you can make which often makes it all the harder. I hope you find the right decision for you. Take care.

hi juliana andbiploar

thanks for the responses, your replies made my mind more clearer and made me think more healthy. I just have to give crucial decision for the next 2-3months. Hopefully I will find the right direction.