Such a tough time

If I am posting this it means I am out of purgatory!!!! Over the 15 posts of torture. I miss my old depression support forum. I had to leave because things behind the scenes, shockingly to those of us paying attention, were not kosher--not at all. Some day I hope to tell the story--because it is quite a tale! But I did not realize how stabilizing it was there. I knew how everything worked and I knew all the people pretty much. So that is bothering me.

There is also the intense worry over getting a job. I am really a professional but that route seems closed right now and I have been doing customer service just to pay the bills. But what used to take 3 weeks to get a job is now running on 6 months and I am downright scared. That kind of scared where it feels cold around your heart. I went to a temp agency and this guy to make it short was such a rude negative abusive twit I should have walked out on him. It is true my work history lately has been spotty but he just kept rubbing it in. He was awful. When I left I started crying. But I did decide to revamp my resume--hopefully that will help.

And, particularly when I am down, I think about my dog Beau. Beau was a black lab, golden retriever mix. He looked like a black golden retriever with a lab head. He died June 10 2005. I have not recovered from his loss and I don't expect that I ever will. This dog was the love of my life. Never have I loved anything or anyone so deeply and so much--and it was mutual. I thought his dying would be the hard part. No it is living without him that is the hell. I miss him. I miss him every day of my life. Except for a handful of days in the last 2 years I have cried for my Beau.

I have heard of those who believe that animals often reincarnate to their owners. I hope that is true with Beau. One of the things that I hate the most is the thought of living for 30 years or more without him. Longing for him as the decades slowly march on.

((((((((Robin)))))))))

I'm sorry you are going through a difficult time right now. I'm also sorry you lost Beau. I'm sure you have wonderful, loving memories of your beloved companion.

I hope you find the support you desire here at PC. I'm glad you're here.


Take good care.

J

Welcome to PC Robyn. I'm glad you found us. I hope you'll find comfort here.

I'm sorry about the loss of Beau. The love we feel for that one special animal is a different kind of love. People who have never experienced it just don't understand.

I was in a similar job situation to you after I recovered from nearly 4 years of agoraphobia. I felt like I would never get my career back on track. I had to fudge my resume a bit and put some extra freelance work in there for the period when I had been sick. I ended up taking a job that was a lower position than what I had had before I got sick, but it gave me the confidence and became a stepping stone to my current job. I'm back on track now. Don't give up hope!

Do you live in a city with many temporary agencies? Sorry it was a tough go with the one you went to. Throughout my spotty career I went to many temp. agencies, and find them all so different. Just as rude as the first one was, there will be 2 or 3 others where they are genuinely happy to see you come in the door. I live in a city where many people are underemployed; I even eventually lied (down)about my education and experience so they would quit telling me I was overqualified. It sounds like that's the spot you may be in now. Many employers prefer the barely-qualifed to the over-qualified. Whatever it takes to survive. Let us know how it goes.