I'm starting to think that maybe I don't want to keep any more contact with my family. I think it would be best for them, and maybe me as well. Last week, I told my Mom that I was thinking of getting a tattoo on my upper arm. She said that this made her want to puke and started saying that she didn't think that my living with them could work if I had such a "different lifestyle". The next day, she seemed to say that if I was paying for stuff around the house and all that she wouldn't really have an issue with it. Then, fast forward to this week, I went to counseling and the counselor brought up a traumatic event that happened a few years ago. This got me very upset and I talked it over with them for a while and then while they were watching their show, I sat down on the couch next to them and sat there with my head in my hands. They became upset with me for interrupting their show and when I told them why, my mother simply shook her head. I had talked things over with them about what happened for a while earlier, but then they got all upset with me for interrupting their show. They have been very helpful and there for me in some ways, helping me with homework a lot, supporting me with college, offering to move in with me when I was away at school and doing very badly, and would talk to me on the phone for hours when I needed that. However, they have had a way of being quite callous at times, initially when I expressed that I was very depressed my mother simply told me to "cut it out". Also, one one occasion they became very angry with me after I came home from a party when I was 16 and when I addressed my mother as Mom she told me not to call her that, and that I was a monster and she would no longer try with me. Then, one time I came home from a talk where the guy was talking about his struggle with depression just when I was starting to experience difficulties. He had cut himself and in response to that she told me to stay away from the guy. I said how if it was a family member that maybe she wouldn't feel that way and she basically said that she still would avoid the person. The thing is I used to cut myself as well and my parents ultimately knew about this and although they were upset about it, they weren't angry or anything, just wanted to get me help and they were very concerned. Luckily, I was able to stop this behavior about a month and a half ago before I wound up in the ER for an infection or anything like that. Lately though, the things that have come up have really annoyed me and tonight I'm considering just leaving and not speaking to them again, ever, just pretending they don't exist and if they call me or try to make contact with me I'd just not respond at all.

[Crazy Hitch]

Steve

I think that tattoos a case of personal choice.

What one finds appealing, others may find less appealing.

About what happened with your couselor, yes discussing traumatic events from the past can make us upset.

Some people I guess aren't really too sensitive about when we speak to them.

So I am sorry that you were dismissed when you tried to speak to your mom about this important issue.

There seems to be a lot going on with the relationship between you and your mother.

I guess things may have been said from both sides.

Yes, I can understand from an outside perspective why your mom may have told you to stay away from the person who self harms. I'm not saying what she said was right at all. But was merely a statement based on her opinion. It was probably one based on fear and painful memories, seeming as your mom knew about your prior self harming behaviours. I am glad that you have stopped this.

Yes I am sure that from time to time you will feel annoyed.

I know that you are considering leaving or never speaking to them again.

But this is kind of pushing it to the other extreme in order to protect yourself.

I am just not sure that this is the solution?

It might feel like the right solution in the short term.

But in the long term I don't think it will solve much.

The reasons for your disputes will still remain there.

I'd vote you stay and see what can be done in resolving this, or attempting to work towards a resolution.

I was able to talk to my mother about the whole incident a good bit and she isn't actually averse to talking about it, she was just upset that I was interrupting them with the show. Sometimes I can see that maybe I go on too long and interrupt others when they are busy with work or other important tasks. A lot of times it seems like they actually care, and they probably both do, so I don't want to break it off with them