I don't understand why people keep on rejecting me in real life! I'll just start with the latest person. I met this lady at a meetup group. It's a movie meetup group. After months of going to the group, I finally got the nerve to invite her out one on one. We then exchanged numbers and she told me to text her. She was always nice to me, and we'd always sit together.

Well, we did hang out twice one on one. The last time we hung out, we went out to eat, and she told me that I was a kindred spirit as I would swear freely to where most people would censor themselves. She said that she's also shy and introverted although she doesn't seem like she is. She was always talking to the people in our group.

Anyways, she is going through a divorce, and I listened to her and asked her questions. I don't think that I talked about anything inappropriate, or that I talked about myself to much. She thought that I wasn't listening to her at one point as she asked me if she was talking to much. I said no, and that if I wasn't listening, then I wouldn't be asking her any questions. Perhaps she was put off by me not talking as much? She already knew that I'm shy! She could've asked me more about myself too, but she didn't.

So, I texted her yesterday and I got NO response from her. How rude! if she can't go, then she should just tell me that. I won't sit next to her at the next meetup unless she asks me to. I knew that she wanted to see this movie! So, WTH is up with her attitude towards me now? I'm really hurt by this!

I feel like such a loser. I might stop going to that group. I feel so sad and that there must be something wrong with me to constantly be rejected and the fact that I'm never approached first by anyone in real life. Even the organizers usually doesn't say hi to me usually, ugh! Also, my bff is doing the slow fade with me and she's been avoiding me for months for no apparent reason. What am I doing wrong? I can't think of a single thing!

BTW, I have social anxiety too, so that doesn't help matters any!

[Fuzzybear]

I don't know what to say. I feel like I'm experiencing the same thing with someone who used to be my best friend in grade school/high school, and a good friend in early adulthood. Part of me wonders if it's not my bipolar (and current depression which has lasted for more than a year, plus the fact that I've been having ECT).

One thing that I've noticed is she NEVER "likes" my facebook posts, not ever, so I don't "like" hers either. I keep telling myself one of these days I'm going to ask her why she never likes my posts. She likes everyone else's posts. I don't know if it sounds childish, it's just a glaring reality.

The other thing I wonder is maybe she's distanced herself from me because she's still into partying (at age 50) and I quit drinking 13 years ago.

The whole thing kind of hurts my feelings.

Originally Posted by newgal2

I don't know what to say. I feel like I'm experiencing the same thing with someone who used to be my best friend in grade school/high school, and a good friend in early adulthood. Part of me wonders if it's not my bipolar (and current depression which has lasted for more than a year, plus the fact that I've been having ECT).

One thing that I've noticed is she NEVER "likes" my facebook posts, not ever, so I don't "like" hers either. I keep telling myself one of these days I'm going to ask her why she never likes my posts. She likes everyone else's posts. I don't know if it sounds childish, it's just a glaring reality.

The other thing I wonder is maybe she's distanced herself from me because she's still into partying (at age 50) and I quit drinking 13 years ago.

The whole thing kind of hurts my feelings.

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Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. Is she aware of your issues? What is ECT? As for FB, I've had that happen to me too. I wouldn't worry to much about it as it's all a bunch of BS. My bff did that to me most of the time too. Maybe her interests and yours are different? I was always posting up funny stuff on there, or pics of cool places and talking about movies and t.v shows that I like, but my bff would post up all this DIY stuff and recipes, and she'd promote some sales stuff on there which annoyed me.

Does she at least respond to your messages and calls? That should matter more than anything. Maybe you can send her a text, email, or call her to just say hi, how have you been lately? If she doesn't respond back, then it's time to let go as it does sound like she's no longer interested in keeping the friendship going. Like you said, you quit drinking, and she didn't. So you two no longer have as much in common.

My bff, or should I say former bff as she is still ignoring me, and not likely to ever talk to me again as I'm sure that she was upset at my honesty and the fact that I told her that I didn't like a few things that she did in the past and how she hurt me and that I thought she was jealous of me too.

I wasn't mean about anything. I was just honest about things as nicely as I could be. If she is going to not care about my feelings, then to hell with her. A real friend would care about their friends feelings and try to work things out and not just ignore them just for being honest with them.

Anyways, try to focus on your other friends who don't drink. If someone is not going to take the time to acknowledge you or initiate plans with you, move on. They're no longer really your friend. It might help if you tell her how you feel. If she's your real friend, she'll listen to you and try to fix things.

If not, move on. Just remember to try to not sound defensive, accusatory, or judgmental when you do talk to her. Maybe telling her that you've noticed that she's been more distant lately and that you haven't heard from her in awhile, and that ask her if everything is OK. Let her know that it feels as if she's been ignoring you lately and that you hope that you're wrong about that or something along those lines.

If she pays attention to other people, but not you, then maybe she is doing the slow fade. Idk. It's best to do it in person or on the phone to avoid any misunderstandings. Unfortunately, people tend to drift apart when their lives change and they no longer have as much in common anymore. It doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, it's just the way things are. I have a hard time accepting that at times as it always hurts to loose a friend w/o knowing why. At least some closure would help me move on. It sucks never knowing why a friendship ended for sure. Good luck with everything!

[AzulOscuro]

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

I don't understand why people keep on rejecting me in real life! I'll just start with the latest person. I met this lady at a meetup group. It's a movie meetup group. After months of going to the group, I finally got the nerve to invite her out one on one. We then exchanged numbers and she told me to text her. She was always nice to me, and we'd always sit together.

Well, we did hang out twice one on one. The last time we hung out, we went out to eat, and she told me that I was a kindred spirit as I would swear freely to where most people would censor themselves. She said that she's also shy and introverted although she doesn't seem like she is. She was always talking to the people in our group.

Anyways, she is going through a divorce, and I listened to her and asked her questions. I don't think that I talked about anything inappropriate, or that I talked about myself to much. She thought that I wasn't listening to her at one point as she asked me if she was talking to much. I said no, and that if I wasn't listening, then I wouldn't be asking her any questions. Perhaps she was put off by me not talking as much? She already knew that I'm shy! She could've asked me more about myself too, but she didn't.

So, I texted her yesterday and I got NO response from her. How rude! if she can't go, then she should just tell me that. I won't sit next to her at the next meetup unless she asks me to. I knew that she wanted to see this movie! So, WTH is up with her attitude towards me now? I'm really hurt by this!

I feel like such a loser. I might stop going to that group. I feel so sad and that there must be something wrong with me to constantly be rejected and the fact that I'm never approached first by anyone in real life. Even the organizers usually doesn't say hi to me usually, ugh! Also, my bff is doing the slow fade with me and she's been avoiding me for months for no apparent reason. What am I doing wrong? I can't think of a single thing!

I'm sorry you feel like that.
The only justification for her behaviour that I come is that she doesn't want to be honest with you. Indiference or silence is the worse punishment can be given to someone.
I think you unless decerve an explanation.
Do you know if she has psychological issues?

I'm so sorry. I know how painful it is.

Originally Posted by AzulOscuro

I'm sorry you feel like that.
The only justification for her behaviour that I come is that she doesn't want to be honest with you. Indiference or silence is the worse punishment can be given to someone.
I think you unless decerve an explanation.
Do you know if she has psychological issues?

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Hi, I have great news everyone! I was wrong about this lady! We hung out the other day one on one. I got to know her better, and she used to be in abusive relationship with a drunk! I didn't want to pry, so that is why I didn't ask her to much. I guess that she does want to open up about things as she told me that she had a scar from where he hit her!

I suck at knowing when to ask questions and when not to! So, does it seem as if she wants to talk about this stuff? We talked about a few personal things, mostly her anyways and how she's having some issues dating men and how she keeps on meeting drunks, but she's working on getting away from all that. She is working on hanging around people who don't really drink that much like me. She is also trying to quit drinking.

She is very nice, and we have a few things in common! She is sweet and she is shy and introverted like me, so perhaps she is being cautious? It sucks that she hasn't invited me out yet after I invited her out two or three times already! I have been hurt, abused, and rejected by so many so called friends and people in general, that I tend to assume the worse at times. She didn't text me back for days last time since she was sick. I'm glad that it wasn't me after all!

I hope that she will become a good friend to me and that she is for real and not just out to use me and leave me once she finds a guy or better friends like most people do. I'll try to play it a bit cool for now and hope for the best!