[Zygara]

Well, hi there.

I joined this site a few months ago, and made a post in September concerning the symptoms I've been having. If you want to read it for a better understanding of what's been going on, just visit my profile.

Well since then, I have gotten a therapist. It's still a little early in treatment, but so far I feel like I still have a long way to go (It's CBT, btw) The sessions are phone sessions and I have them about once a fortnight.

Thing is, I feel that lately things have taken a huge turn for the worst. For a few weeks I was pretty stable, but it soon spiraled out of control again, this time being much worse than it was before.

I can hardly function. Everything is difficult. I cannot get out of bed most days, and I have been feeling suicidal almost everyday. This time the triggers are much smaller, and usually revolve around some kind of rejection from the one I have been attached to recently (I always have one person I will attach to and become suicidal if I sense that I am disliked or ignored by them)

I've also felt like I'm just surviving, not really living per se. I constantly feel really empty, like something is missing. I cannot figure out what it is exactly, and this is one of the main things causing me distress. I feel kind of trapped, and honestly I've almost gotten to the point where

Possible trigger:

I just want to end it.

Therapy seems to not be working, and lately the only thing that even makes me happy is some kind of affirmation from the one I have become obsessed with. This is driving me crazy. It's like my day will either be full of joy and wonder or

Possible trigger:

full of cutting

and despair, depending on whether I'm ignored or acknowledged.

I don't know what to do anymore. What the hell is this I'm experiencing. Is there a way to ease the pain?

Possible trigger:

I feel like I won't be here in a few months from now.

Sorry for coming across as a crybaby, I just don't really have anyone else to ask.

[Rohag]

Reading your post I picked up on significant, severe distress, not whining/whinging.

My observation is CBT helps a certain percentage of people over the medium- and long-term, but it is less helpful for dealing with intense immediate feelings and urges.

Have you had training in deep breathing and relaxation techniques? Does your doctor know about the seriousness of your symptoms?

[Fuzzybear]

I feel that I and probably many others here can relate to much of what you post. Please keep reaching out here if you can, many people find posting here to be helpful, in addition to therapy (and meds if prescribed). I notice that you're from the UK. I (and others here..) have found therapy on the NHS to be a little.... underfunded. I've been where you are, it sucks, I'm still here though... I wish you peace, positive energy and healing. Hope to read more of your posts

PS I just read your first post. Please see your GP and let them know how distressed you are feeling..
We're here too for support

[vital]

Originally Posted by Zygara

It's like my day will either be full of joy and wonder or

Possible trigger:

full of cutting

and despair, depending on whether I'm ignored or acknowledged.

I don't know what to do anymore. What the hell is this I'm experiencing. Is there a way to ease the pain?

Possible trigger:

I feel like I won't be here in a few months from now.

Yeah, a lot of people don't know this but depression will often make you hypersensitive to the slightest criticism or praise and the reactions to either one will be emotional, exaggerated and long-lasting.

I do have a specific thing to try to ease the pain, called "SNAP CLUB". You can find notes here

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

It's very easy to try and often works rapidly. My own best general advice for depression is here:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

- vital

(((Zygara)))