what do I do? Whats this life I'm living? My depresson never had a start and now it doenst look to have an end. Meds..are no help. My therapist(s) never helped, even the one who associates with my psyciatrist he never ever recomends meds, nor does she, he never gives me things to work on. ya'know its sad cause he is the supposed "best" in the area, (i've said that in so many posts) Oh god, guys whats next? I just sit here, and wether away, when I get out its just that much worse. When my parents are around its a complete lie, as when I'm around friends all smiles, yet tears flow despite it, i constantly wish to die,while I smile I want to break and say F*** the world for making me unable to cry............................

((((((((MoonKin))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Moonkin ))))))))))))))

[Christina86]

(((((((((Moonkin)))))))))))))))

Maybe a change in therapists is in order? Just because someone is the "best" doesn't mean that their way of doing things works for everyone.

Take care.

[SecretGarden]

I wonder if you might wish to journal a bit and make a list of what YOU would like to work on. Then give your T the list or at least use it to work from in therapy.

[katheryn]

(((((((((((((((((moonkin)))))))))))))))))
im sorry you are struggling at this time, only a few people see me at my worst, i hide a lot with my smile

[Wants2Fly]

(((((((((((((((((((((Moonkin)))))))))))))))))))))))

We know what it feels like, and we hold you in our hearts.

i'm sorry, moonkins........i went through that recently. xoxox pat

[Samanthaq]

You know I had a pdoc who was, in effect hurting me. His boss, the person who ran the clinic looked me in the eye one day and said "Look Samantha, you CAN FIRE HIM! Just say the word and we will schedule you with another one on staff, or if you'd prefer, help you find another. We want you to feel better, to get the help you need, not be boxed in by someone else. Just tell me what you want."

And that, as they say was that. I have a new pdoc, he's a very different guy, and he's made a difference. You have to be your own advocate, remember your doctor works for you! Doesn't matter if you can cry or not, if the pain level is still that high, he's not helping you.

I KNOW how that pain feels. I know what it is like when it gets worse. I also remember with frightening clarity how it FELT when it got better and what had changed in my life in two weeks time. All the elements in my life that were killing me were still there, exactly the same, HOW I FELT about them however had changed and that scared the crap out of me.

I'm a Stargate SG1 fan. There is an episode called "The Light" in which Daniel Jackson is at the edge and ready to jump when Jack pulls him back. His best friend touches his heart, his mind just enough to pull him back and have him see what he was just about to do. The first I saw it after getting on decent meds I freaked out and cried for about an hour, because I knew what that was like.

Please, please, don't let anyone tell you that there is anything shameful or broken about being depressed. Depression is a medical condition that CAN BE TREATED! Left untreated it can take lives, nearly took mine, and it doesn't have to! DO NOT let anyone stand between you and getting help you need with a medical condition, not even your parents, there is no reason to suffer. Something else you may find interesting to know, depression is (or can be) a genetically inherited medical condition, and explains why there is such a stigma around it. Other people think, well I survived it, you can just buck up and deal with it too. Well it doesn't work that way.

((((((((moonkin))))))))

(((((((((((moonkin))))))))))))

(( Moonkin ))

Some sunshine for you. I hope you feel it's warmth.



Keep going, Moonkin, it's all we can do. Keep going and keep trying different things..different meds, therapies.

Talking in therapy doesn't mean being given assignments of things to work on. The talking over time and learning about yourself so you can see what works and what doesn't, learn what makes you feel better, figure out where you want to be and how to get there and have the support of the therapist to do that.. is therapy. If you want to be given things to work on, be sure to tell your therapist that and you and he can maybe come up with something. Not all therapists/therapies include that kind of thing though. It can be work enough just getting ourselves to the appointments and talking when we don't always feel like it. So consider that your thing to work on, the therapy itself.. getting there and talking openly and honestly and with an open mind to take in what is being said too.

ECHOES

Thanks everyone for the kind words of advice.

you are most welcome. i'm glad that you are staying.........xoxox pat

[Wants2Fly]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Samanthaq said:
You know I had a pdoc who was, in effect hurting me. His boss, the person who ran the clinic looked me in the eye one day and said "Look Samantha, you CAN FIRE HIM! Just say the word and we will schedule you with another one on staff, or if you'd prefer, help you find another. We want you to feel better, to get the help you need, not be boxed in by someone else. Just tell me what you want."

And that, as they say was that. I have a new pdoc, he's a very different guy, and he's made a difference. You have to be your own advocate, remember your doctor works for you! Doesn't matter if you can cry or not, if the pain level is still that high, he's not helping you.

I KNOW how that pain feels. I know what it is like when it gets worse. I also remember with frightening clarity how it FELT when it got better and what had changed in my life in two weeks time. All the elements in my life that were killing me were still there, exactly the same, HOW I FELT about them however had changed

Please, please, don't let anyone tell you that there is anything shameful or broken about being depressed. Depression is a medical condition that CAN BE TREATED! Left untreated it can take lives, nearly took mine, and it doesn't have to! DO NOT let anyone stand between you and getting help you need with a medical condition, not even your parents,

((((((((moonkin))))))))

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[Fuzzybear]

[SecretGarden]

I hope you are hanging in today Moonkin and that you are feeling all of the hands that are reaching out to you for support.

Hang in and hang on....