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#1
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I self-harm. But now I can't because prom is next Saturday and my friend is forcing me to go... There's no way out of going as she is buying my ticket and bought me a mask for the dance. I need to cope right now, or else I will go to a very bad place. The moment I try to stop coping is the moment I plummet and become very suicidal, and now that my only working coping skill is gone this week, I feel like I am going to explode. I am already becoming more angry with my family and I feel so bad for being so cruel. They don't deserve me yelling at them for doing nothing. They care so much and I am just such an evil person. I just don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to live this stupid live anymore.
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I appreciate your help.... But even you can't save me from myself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Med cocktail: Geodon 40 mg
Dapakote 1500 mg |
![]() Anonymous100185, Anonymous100280, Anonymous37914, Fuzzybear, unhappydaze, vital
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#2
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I wish I had some words of advice or wisdom, but hang in there. Maybe find some other way to distract yourself from the pain? You are not an evil person, you are a hurting person.
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![]() secretgalaxy
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#3
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I used to use that "I am hurting" to explain my behavior but it's been going on for years and I haven't been able to change. I love my family way too much to keep hurting them as much as I keep doing. I just want to stop fighting and let it take over...
__________________
I appreciate your help.... But even you can't save me from myself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Med cocktail: Geodon 40 mg
Dapakote 1500 mg |
![]() unhappydaze
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#4
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are you seeing a therapist?
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#5
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Does anything else help you cope with the negative feelings? Exercise, journaling, art? Some people say doing something to help ground you helps with the urges to self harm - holding cold ice, snapping a rubber band on your wrist when you start to think about self harming etc. And some say getting out feelings through non harmful methods is helpful - punching a pillow, tearing a phone book apart etc. Don't know if any of these might work for you. I hope you find a way to get out your feelings in a healthier way. Try to have fun at prom.
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![]() secretgalaxy
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#6
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Yes, I'm seeing a therapist, but my relationship with her is still new. She knows I've relapsed though. She said that since I don't seem to want to let go of it yet, she wont push me to stop yet. Plus, if I tell her anything about feeling like I'm breaking down, she'll probably try to send me to a hospital again and I just need to get through two more weeks of school. After six years of cutting and self harming since I was three, and trying to stop and find different ways to cope, I haven't really found anything yet. Thank you for the ideas though. It's to the point that I don't use SI for negative feelings, I just have it in my routine. I'm willing to change if I can find something that gives me the feeling that SI does, but so far, nothing. I just hope I can get through this week without it.
__________________
I appreciate your help.... But even you can't save me from myself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Med cocktail: Geodon 40 mg
Dapakote 1500 mg |
![]() unhappydaze
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