does thinking about it mean you're depressed

emptyspace · Apr 19, 2015, 08:40 PM

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Is everyone that thinks about suicide depressed?

I don't feel depressed, more apathetic, but I think about it and the plans every day.
I don't really talk about it in therapy because it is just so common for me to feel this way and I don't want to disappoint my T or pdoc who think I am doing better.
Maybe I am depressed, but don't know it because in the past I was SOO depressed, I could not function.

Are there people who never think about it? and is it always a sign of depression?

ThisWayOut · Apr 19, 2015, 09:17 PM

hmm. good question.
I think about it even when I wouldn'y consider myself depressed, but I also think T would see it differently...
can you talk about it with t? I know you said you don't want to disappoint them, but maybe a frank and honest convo. is warranted?

guilloche · Apr 19, 2015, 09:43 PM

I think that there are two ways depression can "look": one is feeling "sad", what we typically think of as "depressed". But, not having any energy or motivation to do anything can be another.

My T recently asked me to do a depression screener... and I came back as moderately depressed. But, I didn't feel overwhelmingly *sad* - I just had zero energy or desire to do *anything*. I am still struggling with this, but for me, the feeling is that... the amount of energy to do anything is more than the amount of pleasure I'll get from it, so very little gets done. (I spend a lot of time in bed.)

So, yes... I think that you may be suffering from some depression. I don't know if suicidal thoughts are *always* from depression, but in your case - especially if you're thinking about how to do it - it may be, and it might be helpful to talk to your therapist.

It might feel normal to you, I think it does for a lot of us. But, it's still good to talk to your therapist, let them know that's where you're at, and talk about what things you might do to feel a bit better.

(((emptyspace)))

Apr 19, 2015, 10:48 PM

I'm not sure about the answer to your first question.

I'm going to put the rest of my answer inside a "trigger" box, since the S-word is used so often.

Possible trigger:

I have been in that place where my depression didn't feel so much sad as "blah" and disappointed with life and stuck. I would think about suicide almost every day. I rarely thought about plans, though, so that part of what you said concerns me a little more. It sort of depends how detailed your thoughts about the plans are.

But anyway, I talked to my therapist about the suicidal thoughts and we talked about what these thoughts might be doing for me. It seemed that they were acting as a distraction from other thoughts that were causing me great anxiety.

If I started having thoughts that were really upsetting to me, I would say to myself "well, if things get really bad, I can always kill myself." And then I'd feel worried that I was thinking that and my thoughts would be off onto the subject of suicide and away from whatever was really bothering me.

I don't know if this is at all like what's going on with you. We can only offer our own experiences sometimes to see if they resonate with someone else.

After I had this discussion with my therapist, the thoughts of suicide went away completely for several weeks. Now I'm having the occasional thought about it.

My therapist always asks me to thank the part of me that's trying to help, even if it's doing it in a maladapted, ineffective way.

It's part of the IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy model.

I do think you should bring this up with your therapist. If you are not seriously intending to carry out your plans, make that clear to them, but it could be really helpful to talk with them about why you might be having thoughts of suicide so often.

Your last question about people who never think about suicide - yes, there are people who never think about it. Or at least they haven't yet at that point in their lives.

I was in my late teens the first time the thought of suicide ever crossed my mind and it was highly alarming. I had a few thoughts about it then and then not again until my mid-20s. Since that time, the thoughts come and go and have come to seem fairly...well, not normal exactly, but familiar. I'd prefer not to have the thoughts, though.

You might like a book called "Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide" by Kay Redfield Jamison. She is a professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins and is also bipolar. She is a good writer and combines statistics about suicide with stories of real people. It's a really good book and might help to answer your question about whether thoughts of suicide are always a sign of depression.

SoupDragon · Apr 19, 2015, 11:10 PM

I think about it as demands in life outstripping resources to cope, so for me it doesn't have to mean depression.

Apr 19, 2015, 11:44 PM

I'm not sure. I too live with the daily thoughts. It's so much part of my life that I didn't even question it.
It's like a protector against very young fear.

Partless · Apr 20, 2015, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emptyspace

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Is everyone that thinks about suicide depressed?

No. Thinking about suicide is rather common. I read somewhere that one in four people (or something like that) think about suicide at some point. What is uncommon is planning it out in details or think about it obsessively over a longer period of time. That's when you know you should take it seriously. It seems to me that you fall in the second group. So take these thoughts seriously.

I also want to add that depression is not the only mental illness associated with suicide. For instance, people with psychosis might think of suicide more than the average person.

Rive. · Apr 20, 2015, 01:45 AM

Re ‘some people never thinking about it’: i can’t imagine (though it might be possible) anyone *not* thinking about it. I have been told I was wrong though. So, not sure about potential link between the thought of giving up & depression. I am inclined to think it depends on the presence, or not, of other signs (and individual differences)

Re ‘thinking of plans’: this seems more serious and might indicate a depressive condition. Rather than keeping it to yourself, as you are currently doing, might be worth bringing this up in T.

stopdog · Apr 20, 2015, 02:51 AM

I have never thought so.

BlessedRhiannon · Apr 20, 2015, 07:50 AM

Just from personal experience, I'm inclined to say no.

For me, the thoughts are much more prevalent when I'm feeling very anxious or very agitated. I'm also more likely to consider acting on those thoughts when I'm in those moods.

When I'm depressed, I'm more apathetic...just don't really care about anything. So, while the thoughts may pop up, I'm not likely to even remotely consider acting on them.

msxyz · Apr 21, 2015, 11:01 AM

I don't think so if you mean depression as in major depressive disorder.

AncientMelody · Apr 24, 2015, 08:50 PM

Sometimes those who aren't depressed have suicidal thoughts....it could be an obsessive thought w/anxiety or OCD. Or a go-to impulsive thought when there is a high pressure situation. I work I medicine and there have been some times when I'm not actively depressed but intense work pressure leads me to temporarily have suicidal thoughts. So there can be other situations...but with exploring w your therapist

ScarletPimpernel · Apr 24, 2015, 09:48 PM

I suffered from daily SUI ideation for the past 19 years until I recently was put on Latuda for impulsivity of my thoughts.

You do not have to be depressed if you have SUI thoughts. If you have suffered from depression in the past and had SUI ideation then, then you can still have SUI thoughts when you're not depressed. Your brain got used to having those thoughts, so it developed a neural connection. It became a habbit, a pattern. The only way to reduce them if this is why you have them is to develop new neural pathways/connections and/or medication.

I can honestly say though that I never thought I'd be free of the thoughts and am so grateful that after 19 years I have some peace. They still come up when I'm depressed, but they don't exist when I'm not depressed: both the SUI and SI thoughts.

sidney1771 · Apr 25, 2015, 08:31 AM

I talk about suicide when I'm not depressed. For me, having a suicide plan is a control issue. It makes sense to me. I have absolutely no intentions on acting on it, and I know that there are many, many safety steps to go through before getting to that action point. My psychologist and I recognize that, and while it is still not pleasant to discuss (which is probably good), the need is there and so my job is to keep her informed on how real the threat is. The more I hide it from her, and myself, the worse off my overall treatment will be. Does that mean she indulges me in coming up with 101 ways to kill myself...absolutely not. I hope that helps you.

stopchewinggum · 10:37 AM

I think about killing myself all the time, and I'm not depressed. I'm just have tendency to have obsessive thoughts. If it wasn't about suicide, it would be something else.

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