[Eva1nder]

I didn't feel too well before I left for Florida. I felt anxious and a lot of pressure.

I have to do many things right now for my son, bills that have to be paid that I'm falling short on, and a ton of other things such as paperwork, housework ... I can go on endlessly, but I won't cuz that's too much to see a list of for me.

Anyways, I felt nervous and anxious coming home from florida. Having to come back to what was waiting here.

I had to go to a wedding last friday. I didn't want to go. I had a bad feeling about it all day. I was in a weird mood and I couldn't figure out why. I kind of got out of it by the time I got there and everything was going ok, up until dessert came out.

This big banana flambe show came out. They had three tables going on with this and they were dumping huge amounts of cinnamon to make it sparkle along with flames.

There was so much cinnamon that the men who were sprinkling it were covered in it. The whole floor had to be sweeped. It was gross.

There was so much smoke in the room...a woman turned to me at the table and said to me "I hope the sprinklers don't go off."

I started having a problem catching my breath and coughing. I have a history of asthma, but have had it under control for a good year now.

I thought I'd go and leave the main room to get away from the smoke. I got a coke and waited until the room was clear, but it wasn't helping. I had gone back to the table, but I was in distress and my friends noticed and one pulled me outside into the fresh air. By this time I was not clear whatsoever.

I was having a very difficult time breathing. I never had such a serious attack. They called into the main room to friends to see if anyone had an inhaler and someone did so I used it and immediately I had relief, but after less then 5minutes I was having a problem again so I needed to go to the hospital.

I am on treatments and prednisone since then. I don't really have a wheeze...I just feel really tight in my chest...labored breathing. I'm exhausted ...fatigued...not that I wasn't fatigued enough before all this, but now I'm just feeling completely tapped.

I don't want to be around anyone. To do anything is taking an extreme amount of effort. I went to my T tuesday and I had no desire to be there for the first time. I had really nothing to say and she did most of the talking and I even think she was uncomfortable.

I said I had enough and this appt. would need to end. I didn't have anything I wanted to go on about and I was tired. She asked me if I would come to group that night and I said maybe., but never went.

I fell asleep.

I feel really bad right now ...overwhelmed etc., which I dunno it feels weird ... unsettling. You know that feeling the calm before the storm. Not that there is going to be a storm persay, but that eerie feeling.

Maybe I feel numb and feelings of being overwhelmed got me here?

There is more, but I'm too tired to explain myself.

I figured I'd type something here cuz I feel like I'm drifting away to being completely alone and that's not too good. Like isolating myself.

I'm sorry to my friends here that I haven't really talked with or checked on. I just am spent I guess, but I still think and worry about you guys.

I also care about many posts that I come across and think about responding, but I don't ..and I think it's cuz I'm tired... *shrugs*

~E

[drunksunflower]

Oh yuck ... what a horrible time you have had.

I have to run to work but just thought I would say I hope things get better for you lady.

[pegasus]

(((((((((( Eva1nder ))))))))))))

I have asthma too, it can drag you down and the stress doesn't help.

Sounds like you have had a lot to cope with lately, hope you can get some rest.

Take some special time just for you and do something nice.

Take care.

((( Eva )))

I'm so sorry to hear that you've hit this rough spot. Just try to stay connected to us here. We will listen all night if you need us too.

(((((((((((((((((((eva1nder)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

sending warm hugs and care

jinnyann xoxoxoxoxo

[Eva1nder]

Ty ((( dsf )))) ~ (((pegasus))) ~ ((((Petunia)))) ~ ((((jinnyann))))

Thanks for listening to me and responding. I just needed to post to stay connected.

I appreciate it. Hope you are all doing well.

[drunksunflower]

keep checking in even if you only write a few words?

[GYPSYEYES]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{EVA}}}}}}}}}}}

your exhausted mentally and physically im sure and being a mom never takes or get a break. so its all on you. feel better soon so we could have a girls nite out online. miss you and take care of YOU. PM or Post any chance you get.

xoxoxoLost/Vanessa

[Eva1nder]

Ty dsf ...I appreciate you taking the time to care.

[Eva1nder]

(((( Vanessa ))))))

Yeah ...I'm tired all the way around and with my mind I can't keep up with what I have to do ...it's just too much.

My son changing schools. I just came home from there today to take a tour. I have his IEP. My ex is a nightmare and my stomach is in knots. I could break that down further on things I need to do, but I won't.

I had to get a g/f a shower gift today and a b'day gift for my niece and it's just one cost after another. That took my whole day and I'm exhausted.

I had to pick up medicine for my son to take before he goes to the orthodontist today cuz of his heart and all these errands are making me want to flop.

I also got a nice 450.00 bill in from the orthodontist, which I paid 200.00 in april?

I'm confused and out of $. ..way out.

Ok enough of my ranting ...cuz i am too tired for that.



Vanessa ...let's get together soon ... k?

~E

[GYPSYEYES]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{EVA}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Rant to me anytime you need. It sometimes can help to get it out and im here to listen , i may throw some of my own ranting in the mix. lol

we'll take it one obstable at a time


xoxoxo V

[Eva1nder]

((((((( Vanessa ))))))))))))

Rant away with me .... I need a lifeline ... and this is the place that I had gotten it from the last time.

I like to help other people in general...that helps me and it'll probably help me out of this ...so share with me anytime



~E