[meander]

Hi there,

I was wondering how other people manage to deal with depression and relationships at the same time... Let me explain a bit more fully.

I live, at the moment, with my boyfriend (of roughly three years), we're a fairly settled couple, but since we're young any engagement/ marriage ideas are far off.

When I'm down, he's really supportive and always there for me, he's really wonderful. It took him a while to understand what was going on with me, but he did some research into depression, and began to understand that my depression was due to a mental illness as opposed to "just being sad", or normal female mood swings or whatever.

But there are times, fairly frequently, when I wonder what damage I'm doing to our relationship with my depression. I'm actively trying to overcome it, and I think I'm winning for the moment. He's not my only form of emotional support, far from it, but he's usually the one around when the down periods hit. I don't want to push him away with it, but I don't want to hide it from him either. Has anyone managed to work out some kind of middle ground?

There's usually, in my down periods, residual feelings of guilt. Neither my boyfriend nor myself have been entirely innocent in our dealings with each other and past partners (we were on again, off again for a while, seeing other people etc), and sometimes I feel that we've managed to hurt a range of other people while "acting out" our power plays with each other, if you get what I mean. I've told my boyfriend about how guilty I feel , that there's a part of me that thinks we don't deserve to be together and as much in love we are, but he shrugs it off. Is this the depression talking, or do I have a point? I'm confused.

[Wants2Fly]

Hi there -- I have no answers. Just wanted you to know someone is reading and cares.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((meander)))))))))))))))))))))))

[jefftele]

check out the book depression fallout and its www lots of info

[Perna]

I like what all my therapists taught me through the years, that we're not just a single event or feeling or situation? It's not like you have a fatal illness and are only going downhill? You have good days and enjoy some good conversations and loving, etc. Life is a mixture of things, not just the depression.

[littlemissjess]

I feel the same exact way. My boyfriend says somethings and they just trigger me into tears and really bad depression. He just thinks I'm being a cry baby I think. He supports me too, but I don't think he understands fully about things.

But I'm happy some days, have a stuck up bad attitude the next, it changes like crazy. I've been called 'bipolar' but I've been told it's my teen years? I don't know. It's not when I have my period either.

Anything I can do to get him to understand?

It's so bad to the fact that no one wants to go to prom with us this friday

[meander]

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Perna said:
I like what all my therapists taught me through the years, that we're not just a single event or feeling or situation? It's not like you have a fatal illness and are only going downhill? You have good days and enjoy some good conversations and loving, etc. Life is a mixture of things, not just the depression.

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That's a good way of thinking about it, I guess. My counsellor told me that every time I have a bad day, I should accept it, but look forward to my next good day. So hard sometimes though....

Thanks :-)