had a big family argument tonight over something stupid, daughter stormed out, b/f chased her. atmosphere awful. feel guilty for being this way and having no energy, meds giving me migraines and weepy bouts.
mum called in the middle of it all and i let rip about everything, abuse, why i was depressed, why she made me feel unloved why did she leave me with him when she knew he was a cdhild molester, why she kept in touch when i would have killed anywone who touched my kids etc etc. she was sobbing and saying sorry, i was sobbing, she i calling abusers friend to try to find out where he is. dont know if this is good idea but i think she wants to get him caught and banged up. i'm so confused again, cant think straight, daughter just came in and went straight upstairs without speaking.i really want to get in that car and drive away right now. mum just called back and abusers wife died last year and 'he' wasn't at funeral cos police would have got him. no one knows where he is, i am so pissed off. i just wish i could get into hospital i feel at breaking point at the moment. these tablets make me hungry and i dont want to put al the weight on i lost. i know that's the least of my problems.

wtf i went back to square one.

i hate life

jin

Gee, sorry your evening was upsetting for you.

I hope you and your daughter can patch things up-- that is if the arguement was between the two of you-- I mean. Hope the atmosphere in your home feels less awful real quick.

Not sure if you thought about this but, I think it's really something that your mom was sobbing and said she was sorry. Some people never are accountable for their hand in someone's abuse, seems like this is a good direction that your mom has taken with you. (I've confronted my mom and I'm always in the wrong, it was all my fault- for the various abuses that I endured, or I'm making a big deal out of a little thing-- like being held at gunpoint is a little thing. , and her chaotic temper was the child's fault, ....so I won't even try to confront her anymore-- it's just not worth the upset or energy. -- she does NO wrong)

I hope you understand that I'm not discrediting what you're going through-- just that maybe there is a little ray of hope there....?

wishing you peace--

mandy

mandy thankyou for replying. yes there is hope, we both want to get our lives back together, she actually dropped a bombshell tonight and told me she was abused by one of her friends dads when she was 13. my jaw was on the floor, but still dont know why she didn't protect me when she knew this man was an abuser. i have protected my children and if anyone so much as touches them i will kill them i swear and always have done. we used to live next door to a flasher when i was 2/3 and she used to leave me with him and his daughter - go figure..........

love you, pm me anytime, you have been a great help to me

jinnyann xoxoxoxox

[Wants2Fly]

It sounds like a very rough time for you, Kerry. ((((((((((((((((((((Kerry))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( jinny )))))))))))))))))

kez breath
look at what u have beautiful children and they love u
ur daughter may be upset
but she loves u and hates to see u hurt

ur strong jin
ur real strong

talk to ur daughter tell her ur still her mom and u still love her
and tell her ur trying to get it sorted

((((kez))))

its 2007 and ur safe

((((((((Jinnyann)))))))) Jinnyann, it's going to be okay. I really thinks so. I think your daughter is just acting like a typical teenager. Slip her a little "I love you" message under her door. All you can do is let her know that you love her.
It's good that you let it out with your Mom. No matter what comes of it, you need to be heard and it sounds like your Mom heard you. That's good. Keep protecting and caring for yourself, you sooooooooooo deserve it. You're a good, sweet , kind person and you deserve happiness. It'll come, Jin, just hold on. Try to keep going, no matter how badly you feel. You'll get through this. Hold on to me/all of us here at PC. Okay?

for you all because i do -- -- --