No motivation, I might as well give in

I'm 16 and I have ADHD along with another asortment of issuses. I struggle mostly with depression and axinety. Sometimes I sit in class and I get depressed and I don't know what to do. I just have nothing on my mind. I hear voices but they mean nothing and I felt numb. I just get so moppy. I have REALLY bad depression and even worse Anxiety. Like I'll tell you the fire bel at my school scares me ALOT. I cry sometimes because I can hear it in my head. I sit in class sometimes with may hands over my ears just waiting for it to go off. I sit and I hold back tears just thinking about that stupid thing.

MY depression is mostly why I can not get anything done. I have absolutly no motivation. I have a research paper I have to get done and I CAN NOT move myself to do it. I just CAN'T. It is the worst feeling in the world. Like I wanna curl up in a ball and go to sleep forever. Sleeping is my escape from Anxiety and depression. Sometimes I get so depressed it PUTS me to sleep.

I get so depressed it hurts sometimes and then sometimes I get so sressedout I break out in big hives that look like giant slugs under my skin (ew) I can't constrate when I'm depressed and I can't do anything when I am depress. I'm totally in my own world.

I tried taking double my medication to make myself high so I could feel better and that worked for a while but my mom found out and I stopped doing that.

When I break out in hives I have to take benadryl to make it stop. I had been breaking out almost everyday and taking Benadryl everyday and I keep feeling like I sound take more of it. I do not want to become addicted to it but it makes me feel so good.

Can anyone help me???

I cry alot in school too. I have ADD. I don't know why I cry. Feel the need to though. I hate it. I fear so many things in school. Like walking alone, going to lunch line alone, I freak out. I feel like such a weird kid in school. Don't know if I can help you, but I'm kinda in the same situation.

Are you monophobic? I am, I'm totally afraid of being alone. It's not so bad when people are around me but it is so bad when I walk down the street alone.