[A.Lone]

The bottom line is I've got very little ambition and seem to be losing any I have more all the time - am even forcing myself to do this post.

I'm in my mid 50's, live alone, no friends, don't care for my job (to say the least) and don't trust anyone at work. Am also about to lose health insurance, but haven't done anything to check out getting my own.

Am taking Klonapam (probably more than I should to deal with work) and generic Effexor. Also adult Multi-vitamins, Stress B-Complex & D3 - those don't seem to work. Tough to see a doctor/shrink because my boss feels if I need mental meds to work, I shouldn't be working there (plus tough getting time off to see one).

Have tried riding my bike for about 9 months now, but that exercise doesn't seem to help. Depression Support groups don't seem to help either.

Drawbacks are lousy eating habits and smoking, which at my age I don't anticipate those changing.

Am just tired of doing nothing like my checkbook, taking trash out, or any other simple tasks. Having to FORCE myself to do these things seem to make my depression worse.

Wish there was a miracle pill to help me feel better. Does anyone have any miracle advice?

Thanks!

[Living Dead Guy]

Its a difficult position to be in for sure, and I'm glad that you found the ambition to post this.

I would definitely see a doctor about adjusting your medications at the very least.

If you live in the US work is required to offer insurance now if not you can find "competitive" rates in the government marketplace.

Finally it sounds as if you might need a change of pace. Start looking for a different job perhaps. Or when/if you get some down time help by volunteering. One of the few sure ways to lift a depression for me is by volunteering my time.

I hope you feel better soon.

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Hello Sir!

I know that depression is a completely draining illness Things are hard, and they will seem like they are impossible to get through, but I promise you that you will get better in time You'll soon see yourself as a highly productive person again, and you'll come here and help us et through our struggles too I promise you, that WILL happen

[A.Lone]

No offense to your responses, but it's tough seeing a doctor when your employer doesn't support you. Any time I do see a doc, I have to lie about why I'm seeing one. Have tried for years finding a doc/shrink during my off work hours, but none available who either take my insurance or have a sliding scale. In regards to finding another job, I've been at my current one for ten + years and have been around enough to know there's problems at any job. Plus being in mid-late 50's, FINDING another job isn't the easiest.

And Renounced, again no offense, I've heard what you wrote for 50+ years. Do you realize how tiring it is hearing those same lines all the time? There have been some good times here & there, but short lived.

Right now I need to find the ambition to write down my finances to find other insurance (barely living paycheck to paycheck isn't easy either). But again, I need to get the ambition to figure things out - I'd rather stay in bed, watch tv or lose games of Solitaire on the computer. Haven't even looked at my checkbook in a week.

It doesn't help being alone. Have tried free dating sites and singles groups, but no luck in finding anyone to connect with. Not only romantically, but even for friendship.

Granted I'm better off than addicts or other illnesses, but this is happening to ME. The situation I'm in now really sucks!

[Blues47]

Another middle ager here. Many don't realize what being depressed in middle age means...'it'll get better' rings very hollow when it hasn't for decades and there's nothing new on the horizon.

Wish I had miracle advice for you... exercise and alcohol is how I cope.

[A.Lone]

This is a bit off the subject, but "they" say suicide is the easy way out. Sorry, but to me that takes A LOT of courage considering the ultimate consequences. Back to reality... With so many states legalizing medical marijuana now, is depression considered one of those medical uses? Seems like the better days of my life was when I was 'smoking," but wouldn't even know where to get it now. Plus I would imagine it's A LOT more expensive than 30 years ago.

I was hoping exercise (riding bike) would help, but can only do that once/week; when I get home from work I'm took physically and MENTALLY drained to ride.

[lonely-and-sad]

I doubt i will see drugs like marijuana allowed for depression in my lifetime. But then I am in australia where they take the war on drugs much farther than most. I agree suicide takes courage others can disagree all they like. I think the only real solution for you, or most in fact, is a better medication or a combination. Are you taking anything? If not you should be. Is there ANY way possible for you to get to a doctor for medication?

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[doctorwho737]

I feel the same honestly daily things and things I really need to do.

I also understand being older at 37 and having no friends or potential lovers.

Have no advice for you or id (probably not) apply it to myself, but i do have a ton of understanding and empathy.

Also middle aged and in a similar position. What helped me was doing something creative. Not exercise. Writing and working outdoors. I find losing myself in an activity really soothing. It doesn't change the facts in my life but it does help me feel less depressed. It's that being in the moment thing. When you're just concentrating on planting or digging or something outside yourself. I still have all the limitations and things I need to do, but I feel less bad about them.

[A.Lone]

At the beginning of this thread, this is what I'm currently taking: Klonapam (probably more than I should to deal with work) and generic Effexor. Also adult Multi-vitamins, Stress B-Complex & D3 - those don't seem to work.

My boss is also getting ready to drop health insurance because of the expense. For about two years I tried finding a shrink without any luck - the few available during my off-work hours wouldn't take my insurance or have a sliding scale to where I could afford to see one.

While I do consider myself to be on the creative side, it's getting tougher and tougher. Living alone and without any friends, there's no one else to enjoy what I can do (my mother doesn't count, LOL). Doing things for myself only is on the depressing side, so I'm losing interest in those things.

I've been working at the same job for ten plus years and should be used to the daily b.s. there, but that same b.s. still gets to me.

I'm not looking for the "Brady Bunch" type of life; just a bit of ambition and not having to FORCE myself to get simple things done.

[lonely-and-sad]

Sorry i missed that. Guess its just part of my depression to forget and to miss things. I understand although i am younger i can say i have had enough of a taste of the disappointments of life to get it. I have nothing else. Its difficult either way. If you haven't experienced it then its hard to understand. If you are experiencing it then it is a bit hard to help someone when you barely can help yourself.

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[A.Lone]

No problem. I have an elderly mother who expects me to have all the answers for her. She can't seem to get it through her head that I can't help her when I'm experiencing the same things. It's aggravating for me, but at the same time I feel guilty in not being able to help either - that guilt ISN'T what I need right now.