[i dont matter]

** I know some people have an issue with the word retarded, but understand that I am using it properly **

My wife gets very frustrated with:

• I just told you about ______
• You went to the store for two items and came home with neither
• We made plans to ___________
• We have been together for 25 years and you don't remember that I do not like _________

I don't remember. That is the thing. One of my doctors said that I have pyscho-motor retardation. Basically depression caused imparement of thinking, concentration, recall.

Very frustrating..... Retarded me. Stupid me. F-tard me. Useless me.

[gayleggg]

It is hard for people who don't suffer with an issue to understand what we go through. Your wife can't understand because she hasn't been there. Maybe a joint session with your doctor to explain it might help, if you haven't tried it already.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm "useless" too.

In my case abusers since infancy have been ramming that lie down my throat.

This is why...

[Fuzzybear]

Would the doctor understand?

Originally Posted by gayleggg

It is hard for people who don't suffer with an issue to understand what we go through. Your wife can't understand because she hasn't been there. Maybe a joint session with your doctor to explain it might help, if you haven't tried it already.

[Frankbtl]

Hi IDM,
You aren't stupid or............
The way I see it is that the depression and it's effects are more masking some of your true skills right now.........and coping with depression..........not easy, right??!!! Not easy at all!!
So forgetting the odd item, the odd plans, compared with........what you're coping with........!! Not that major, right?? I'd want you to be a bit more compassionate towards yourself
So with some things, you can maybe naturally expect to be forgetting under the circumstances, there can still be ways around those things e.g. making notes on a calendar, putting reminders on your phone, checking in with your wife more, having your wife understand the signs that you might not be taking things in, having your wife understand that you may need reminding of things at a later interval.............
But of course, maybe some of this is coming from side effects of medication as well, do you think?? So maybe check if changing times of medication could help??
Either way though, even if you have to be reminded of 5.....10........15........20 (!!).......things in a day, that does not make you useless
There's so much more about you than some faults in your memory, so much more!!!
Please don't use that as one of the benchmarks in judging your value.........regardless of memory, you are awesome!!!

Alison

[lonely-and-sad]

I lose things all the time. I forget things. Depression effects the brain. Just my opinion but looks like genetics/biology is very influential in depression and is where research is headed and not nutritional deficiencies or alternative/functional medicine.

Sent from my SM-G900I using Tapatalk

[SeekerOfLife]

IDM, You Do Matter. Slapping yourself with negative labels will not build you up. I am sure you are loved by your children. You matter to them. A dad is there for his kids....loving them, teaching them, setting an example. Are they grown up, yet? How do you want them to remember you?
I rarely let others see how they hurt me. I have to be reminded of things all the time. I forget. It is a fact of life for me. Give yourself credit for your efforts and small successes. Do you want to get well? You deserve it! Ok.