[wearymomof6]

I wonder this sometimes. Is it really depression or is it just a sane response to an insane world. You can't convince me this world is sane. Its not, and this is why I hide.

A woman approached me a couple of weeks ago while at church. I try to avoid everyone there. I go only because of the children who want to go because they've friends there. This woman, she knows I am going through an extra rough time because my husband is away for a long term work assignment and he is my absolute best friend and I can't breath if he is not here. Talking to him by instant message each day or by phone or by skype just doesn't do it for me and my blood rages that I can't be near him, smell him, feel his body heat, enjoy his moment to moment companionship. I can't do long distance relationships. Even this forum is so removed, blind, cold, no matter the sweet words and "hugs" people give. They aren't the real thing because eyes and faces are missing, smiles are missing, compassionate eyes are missing.

So, this woman comes up to me, this perky woman and she tells me I am welcome to go to her house, bring the kids, get to know each other, because my husband is gone. I mostly just looked at her while I raged inside. But I smiled and thanked her and told her I would consider her offer. But she doesn't really know what she is doing. I know that she doesn't really want me in her midst because I have too many uncomfortable things to say. I am not interested in dainty little get-togethers with dainty little talk and dainty little smiles.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Sometimes it not such a bad thing to reply to the kindness of strangers, perhaps in this case to meet on neutral ground, a cafe or local event perhaps, to see if you can get on.

I find it helpful to breakdown into words what is holding me back: she doesn't want me in her midst - how do you know? She just asked you; I will just say uncomfortable things - well say them it is not the end of the world of you don't get along, and she may agree or just be sympathetic; I have nothing to say - likely she will do much of the talking so you can consider your words; You recoil from daintiness - if she is so very dainty you won't get along, but perhaps she is not as dainty as she looks.

[lonely-and-sad]

I personally believe that depression is a mental illness. The world may indeed be 'insane' but our depression is not a sane response; to feel hopeless, or any other symptom of depression. After reading as much as I can and suffering this complex condition so long I do not believe that it has a physical basis such as thyroid nor is it from 'nutritional deficiencies'. There is no evidence that overturns the biopsychosocial model that has been established over decades. If you have depression you will find out at some point. The denial of depressions existence was partly what delayed treatment for me. I had suffered for at least 10 years before I did start to get it treated. I still struggle. I know that your question was more just an expression. Perhaps an expression of frustration at the world and our place. But i think we need to remind ourselves that it is in fact a mental illness

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[Smileonmyface]

hi wearymom. i am a weary mom myself of 2. don't have advice really i'm not in a great place myself. but i could relate to your post and not wanting to do the whole small talk superficial thing especially as it relates to church. i feel like i have tried every avenue..church, storytimes, playgroups. i don't feel like i fit in anywhere. if i do talk to people i feel like it is all superficial. i live for my husband and two girls, that is it. and our dog and cat too i suppose. while mine does not work far away, he works many hours and i don't see him and get to feel his presence as much as i would like. so i just wanted to say i could relate and "hugs", even though they are cold and not actual hugs, hugs just the same.

[Madeofwords]

Pretty sure small talk is the worst. It's just exhausting, you know? How do people chatter for hours about nothing? I get drained just exchanging a few words with a salesperson. Is it the same for you?

[wearymomof6]

Originally Posted by Madeofwords

Pretty sure small talk is the worst. It's just exhausting, you know? How do people chatter for hours about nothing? I get drained just exchanging a few words with a salesperson. Is it the same for you?

I'm easily annoyed with salespeople. But then, it seems I am easily annoyed with just about anyone right now.

[lonely-and-sad]

Originally Posted by wearymomof6

I'm easily annoyed with salespeople. But then, it seems I am easily annoyed with just about anyone right now.

Crankiness is a symptom of depression. One of the most prominent of Persistant Depressive Disorder or what used to be called Dysthymia.

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