[monkeybrains21]

i dunno y but the past few days have just been me wanting to just be gone. i dont belong here. if anything i just bring those around me down. i dont even know y i bother here. its nothing more than a never ending battle and im just so tired of it.

i wish i knew what it felt like to be happy, truly happy. ive never known that nor do i think i ever will. meds only work for a little bit. therapy didnt work at all. im just broken and cant be fixed.

[Fuzzybear]

[BluGangsta]

I wish I could give you some advice that will make you feel better but I feel like this all the time too. All I can say is just try to find something that makes you happy even if its just for 5 minutes. Although you're feeling like crap right now, who knows.....tomorrow you might wake up and have the best day you've had in a long time.

[vital]

Originally Posted by monkeybrains21

i dunno y but the past few days have just been me wanting to just be gone. i dont belong here. if anything i just bring those around me down. i dont even know y i bother here. its nothing more than a never ending battle and im just so tired of it.

i wish i knew what it felt like to be happy, truly happy. ive never known that nor do i think i ever will. meds only work for a little bit. therapy didnt work at all. im just broken and cant be fixed.

Hi monkeybrains,

It might sounds a little crazy, but these notes are worth a try

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

I was similarly dragging myself through life before I realized what was actually going on in my own head.

I also think its good to broaden your search for treatments well beyond the usual "meds and therapy", especially to look for common underlying medical problems that MDs often don't check for:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

- vital

[monkeybrains21]

I have tried and I have forced myself to do many things I don't want to do or fear doing but I know I need to do. Recently I had to go on a business trip. When it first came up it was I don't have to go but I was invited. I made the quick decision to do it without thinking how awful it makes me feel. After I got reservations and plane tickets I felt crappy for the next 2 months leading to the business trip.

It wasn't a bad experience it just makes me very anxious and isolated. I went I did my work and I returned. I slept very little as ate even less. I hate flying and am claustrophobic. I had to repeatedly tell myself I can do it and I control it yet I was a wreck. I still am more than a week later. Since I've been back or been very depressed hence me writing my initial post. I exercise, I eat healthy lots of veggies and fruits and lean proteins. I try and follow as much nutritional balance as I possibly can.

I have an extreme fear of doctors and men. I refuse to be alone in a closed room with any man. Doctors make me literally sick. I've been to doctors all my life and am healthy. I just can't stand to be touched or looked at. I will never ever let myself be naked by doctors nor will I ever let them touch my naked body. I'd have to be on the verge of death or heavily sedated. Even then when I came to all I'd feel is violated. I've been violated too much in my life already and I refuse to allow it to happen as a choice. I'll choose death over further violation.

[francisR]

hi

Sometimes medication. There seems to work for a while and this may be because the dosage was not strong enough or other medications might need to be added to get even more help.

Sometimes therapy does not help because it is not the right therapy for us or the therapist themselves was no good. That does not mean to say that it would not work, it probably would if you got the right therapy. Personally I use acceptance and commitment therapy. And you can Google that. This means you accept symptoms observe them, passing through the mind. And let them go and at the same time, proceed with the business of the day. Research has shown that, trying to get rid of the symptoms only makes them come back again, and that using this method substantially which uses their number and severity. If you cast your mind back no doubt you will discover times when things were a bit better and they can be again if you get the right therapy tools and use them with perseverance to make things better, which they will. Try doing enjoyable things to distract the mind from feeling bad. Even setting small, easily achievable objectives builds the confidence that things are coming under control. I hope and pray everything gets much better for you soon. Have a really great day. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis