[Camacho89]

I am in between jobs. I work in a freelance field, and my next job doesn't start until July 7th. UGH! At least I have it set up, as of last week I didn't know where my next paycheck would come from. The money on the next job is really good, so I'm not worried financially anymore. It will be tight for the next month and a half, but I won't become homeless...which is a good thing.

The problem is my state of mind right now. Lethargic can't even describe it. I don't want to slip, but not having a job is NOT good for me. I run on self boosts. It's awful to admit, but I need outside "thumbs up" to make me feel good about myself. I am really good at my job, and when people are responding to my work, I feel like I can do anything. But when I'm home, watching movies and doing housework, I feel useless and unimportant. My sleep is %#@&#!, so off kilter. Sometimes I'm up all night and sleep until noon, and sometimes I am so tired at 9 o clock, wake up at 7 the next morning and think "I have nothing to do today. What's the point of waking up now? Then I sleep even longer and become even more lethargic.

I am in the middle of a brutal breakup where I have discovered I want to get back together eventually, but have also realized that it's too late. My father died a year ago this past Saturday. I don't have any friends in this city. and WHY AM I CONCENTRATING ON THE NEGATIVE? I need to stop.

I need to find a way to fill my days...

[Wants2Fly]

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Camacho89 said:
It's awful to admit, but I need outside "thumbs up" to make me feel good about myself. I am really good at my job, and when people are responding to my work, I feel like I can do anything. But when I'm home, watching movies and doing housework, I feel useless and unimportant. My sleep is %#@&#!, so off kilter.

I am in the middle of a brutal breakup where I have discovered I want to get back together eventually, but have also realized that it's too late. My father died a year ago this past Saturday. I don't have any friends in this city. and WHY AM I CONCENTRATING ON THE NEGATIVE? I need to stop.

I need to find a way to fill my days...

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Hi there! I am the same way about work -- I get meaning, purpose and identity from my work. Not to mention money, which I really like a whole lot.

I have read quotations from creative people saying that they got their meaning and identity from their work. This is described as dysfunctional in our society, but I am almost 60, and I don't see much hope for changing this anymore.

I am sure that the death anniversary and grieving over your relationship also have a serious impact when your mind and body aren't busy with meaningful work.

I hope you find something you enjoy doing in the meantime. Can you participate, perhaps, in courses that will increase your skill or knowledge base? Get outside and bike and walk? Etc.

[ab1018]

I know it is a cliche' answer - but how about volunteering? I have found that I feel best when I am helping others. I truly believe that in helping others you help yourself.

I also volunteer at the Humane Society - the unconditional love you get from helping animals is unbelievable.

[sabby]

I would have suggested the same exact thing!

Not only will you be doing something postive with your down-time, you will also be networking and meeting other folks. Who knows what can happen from there....new friends, new life meaning, new outlook on your situation???

Hugssss
J

[selfy]

hehehehehehehe
take care all.....
self

[Camacho89]

It's funny you say that. I just visited a good friend of mine in Atlanta, he is a big brother to this little hispanic boy with the nicest mother. Sunday afternoon we went and watched the kid's hockey game. I can tell it makes my buddy feel really good to give this kid a positive male role model... even though my buddy's not perfect... I know this... but the little kid doesn't.

I also was thinking of adopting a kitten. I never liked cats, thought I was allergic, until I started dating my ex... fell in love with hers. It's part cougar, a little bad ***. We had many territory disputes

Thanks for the advice. I've been pondering volunteering somewhere, and I think this is a perfect time for it.

[Fuzzybear]

Hi camacho, I know that feeling of needing outside validation. I understand what others also say about volunteering, though it works for some people for others it doesn't, and it becomes another outside validation, that doesn't necessarily create permenant inner change..maybe therapy of some sort is another option for you???

[ineedhelp27]

hey Camacho,
I just wanted to say i feel for you.....I hope it gets better. Some of the others have already said that maybe you should consider an alternative to work untill then, sitting at home all the time can't be good for you. Hey you've already made progress you recognize the problem, or at least a factor in it, now you just have to make the decision and the commitment to do something about it
Sincerly with all my support