Depression and Anger

So, I don’t really know where to start this, but I’ve been dealing with depression and social anxiety for years now and I’m only getting worse. I feel extremely uncomfortable in almost every social situation and this has led me to isolate myself. I’m only 17 and am still in high school, which is basically torture for a person like me. I was bullied in middle school and have always been rejected by the majority of my peers. I usually just wallow in my sadness, but recently things have changed. Along with my depressive thoughts I have started to experience extreme amounts of anger and hate. Every time I go to school I see all of the other people who seem to be perfectly fine and recently its been pissing me off. I constantly think of the people who have rejected me or taken advantage of my kindness, and I want them to pay in some way. These feelings have made me hate my peers as I grow angrier at the unfairness of it all. Why should others get to have perfectly normal lives, while I am afraid to go out in public? And yes, I’m aware that everyone has their problems, but I’ve heard that said so many times before and I guess I’m just sick of hearing it. I don’t know what I expect to get from posting this, I just wanted to voice (or type) my thoughts. I just don’t understand, I’ve been really nice to the majority of people I’ve come across and they either take advantage of me or reject me. I don’t even want to be accepted by people anymore. I just want to be happy any way possible I don’t care anymore.

hi mforbez
i hear you voicing your frustration. it seems you are comparing your insides with other's outsides. as you acknowledged, everybody does have their problems. we just dont know about them. i understand isolation. totally get it. i do it all the time because i think people suck. even my best friends i have no expectations of because they continually let me down. i know if i call or text, they arent going to respond, so it is a happy surprise if they do. ive just come to accept that the world is an awful place. i live a simple philosphy. when i do good i feel good. so i do my best to make the best choices for me so that i can feel good and i dont care what is happening with the people around me because i have no control of them.

welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

Hi mforbez,

This just came up in the "Coping with Emotions" section...

Without realizing or deciding, a depressed person will stop deciding what they think and feel. This makes them vulnerable to ruminating thoughts that feed on themselves. Thinking and feeling responses become hypersensitive and long lasting because of that.

For example, for a healthy person, if something irritating happens, they are irritated for a while and then they go on to something else. For a depressed person, the irritation feeds on itself. You don't think about it once and feel irritated, you think about it 100 times over and over and over again. Over time, this makes you hypersensitive to the various things that can make you angry. Tiny things will then set you off for a long lasting out of proportion emotional response.

That's why, I believe, being irritated or angry or afraid all the time is a sign of depression. I believe that the stereotypical angry teenager or grumpy old man are most likely depressed.

I believe that all this is caused by that one underlying mechanism explained in the notes.

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

- vital

Hi mforbez. Welcome to Psych Central. Sorry you are having anger problems. I know anger has been a toughie for me. The world is such a controlling place that is so difficult to be who I really am. The problem with anger is it does not hurt anyone else; but it hurts me. I feel worse after expressing anger. I have been up many a pillow, but I never really feel better so I am trying other ways.

One thing I try is a breathing exercise to focus on breath instead of fighting with the thoughts. If you are feeling very anxious or angry or just want to calm down, you can try a breathing exercise that takes the attention away from the trigger of anxiety to a simple tool of counting breaths.

Find a comfortable position seated or laying down. Breathe naturally, and silently count 1 on the inhale, and two on the exhale. Then 3 on the inhale and 4 on the exhale. Continue up to 10 or until you lose the count then return to one. No judgement. I sometimes end up at 18 then smile and return to 1. The idea is to focus on the breath and the counting and not get sucked into the anxiety or anger trigger. Also works to quiet the mind.

In the meantime, lifestyle changes can give a little boost. Here are some of the things that help me. I have to watch what I eat because foods I eat can stabilize my moods or exaggerate them. A high protein low carb diet with snacks or meals every 3-4 hours will over time reduce my swings. I also avoid alcohol and recreational drugs because those can really increase depression. If needed you could seek help for withdrawing from self medicating with increase in meds.

Other lifestyle changes that help me are doing yoga, exercises, mindfulness, calm music, and being active on Psych Central.

I can relate, mforbez. I'm 36 and have been suffering from anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember, and it seems to be getting worse as time goes on. Almost all social situations make me extremely uncomfortable and I do find myself getting very angry at times.

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I agree. I have depression and have taken my anger out on others. I hold it all inside until I burst. It scares me what I have done. I too have social anxiety. In public I look all nice and calm and no one would ever suspect what I have done or what is in my head.

hi Mforbez

I am sorry that you are feeling bad. and that you were bullied at school. Perhaps you would like to consider seeing a therapist to get good help for managing these feelings. Those people who seem to have such a good time would probably not be able to manage it all. if they have your problems. You should give yourself the credit for keeping going in a really difficult situation. Getting good medication would be a great help for you.
It is a natural response to feel anger against those people who have hurt you. But holding onto these feelings only poisons your system and makes it very difficult for recovery. We do not forgive people because they deserve it, but because we have got to get rid of the bad feelings so that we can heal. Try to keep your mind busy doing especially enjoyable things to take the focus away from depression. Even setting and achieving small goals will let you feel that things are coming under control and build confidence.
There is Nami the organization for the mentally ill and very often they do run peer to peer support groups where you can meet new friends. And socializing with them would be easier because we are all in the same boat. You can Google Nami to find out what services they have in your area. There may be depression support groups in your area. also, which would be helpful.

I hope and pray you feel much better soon. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis