[ariesmars]

...

[Fuzzybear]

arie.. you can talk to us. So sorry you are having a hard time. Hugs

or is more the point, that you cannot find the words to express how you are feeling???

[mlpHolmes]

That's OK, Ariesmars. Just know we are here for you. If you need to talk, listen . . .
((((((((((Gentle Hugs)))))))))

[ariesmars]

I don't how I'm feeling. some feelings are sad, depressed, happy, jealous, super angry, tick off, upset. of all i guess jealous and super angry are the biggest feeling and it gets worse every hour. i have a blank death type starr (someone told me) yes im thinking about it and wishing for it.

Hi AriesMars, what's a blank death type starr and why would someone tell you that you have one?
(((((((((AriesMars))))))))))))

[Direction]

Since the two biggies you indicated are jealousy and anger. What's happening to cause those feelings?

[Fuzzybear]

[ariesmars]

A blank death starr would be wide eyes, large pupils, a look like the person is dead inside. I'm jealous that people talk with others much longer and more often then they talk to me. I was talking with someone and that person, keep looking and walking away to get away from me. People that are new to each other have hugged in front of me and that hurts, because I haven't been hugged in 10 years. I just want what other people have and I have no way to get it, that makes me angry.

On top of everything else, my parents have no money and talked with a lawyer about bankrupty, which we may end up losing our house.

[meander]

((aries))

If I could hug you in RL I would! Hope you feel better soon. I can't think of an easy solution for you, sorry, but want you to know there are people that care about you...

((((((((((((((((am))))))))))))))))))

virtual hugs are not the real thing
but they can be just as good

so sorry u are stuck in this spot rite now...
hope something can clear up for u
just to give u a lil glimmer of hope

[ariesmars]

thank you for the hugs. they helped for a while, but now Im feeling bad again. it is like i can't do anything right and everytime something goes wrong it is my fault. if someone does not do what they are suppose to do im the one who gets yelled at. im just so sick of this and wish it would end. i know it is all lies, but when it is said to me in so many different ways verbal and non verbal i believe it and am treating it like the truth. why should i bother to fight it anymore, it is no use. im sorry

AriesMars,
I went through the same exact thing with being blamed for everything when I was a teenager. It hurts, I know. I'm sorry that you're going through it. Are you still living with your parents? I don't know how old you are. If you are then it gets much better when you move out on your own. As for people not talking with you nor hugging you, it could be because they feel you're not comfortable and you may be awkward, which in turn makes them feel awkward. It's a cruel catch22 for those of us with a social phobia. We need "normal" interaction but since we need it so badly we behave kinda odd, I guess, "normal" people pick up on our discomfort and instead of trying to reassure, they run away because they've got insecurity issues of their own they're probably trying to grapple with and don't know how to handle your feeling uncomfortable.
Please, don't take it personally. You have to saturate yourself in social contact-regardless of how many times it makes you feel "left out/alone" 'cause the more you do it, the more you get use to it and soon enough, you don't even care or you accumulate skills in the process.
(((((((((((((((AriesMars)))))))))))))))))))
I'm sending you out big fat hugs!!!!
No need to apologize and NEVER admit to doing anything that you didn't do. It'll only encourage them to blame you for doing other things. Whoever those people are, you need to get away from them. They are not helping you and they sound like they need a scapegoat and you've been very convenient.

[mlpHolmes]

((((((((((((((How Very Special You All Are!))))))))))))))))

(((((((MlpHolmes))))))))) ~Not as special as you!!

[Direction]

Having gone through bankruptcy it is not the end of the world. Most secured loans can continue - so lossing the house may not happen - it all depends on what type of bankrupcty is done and determining how much can really be spent on housing.

I didn't have a house when I went "B", I kept the car though...anyway I discharged tens of thousands in credit card hell - guess I may have been a bit too up to control myself...

[ariesmars]

i don't know what to write, i'm just starring at the screen. and thinking.....

[ariesmars]

is there anyone to talk to right now. I going crazy, i losing it. i don't what is going on, but something is wrong and i dont know what. i need someone to pray for me

[ab1018]

(((((ariesmars))))) - I'm praying for you as I type. It WILL get better, I promise.

[ab1018]

Actually, I filed bankruptcy too, and was able to keep my house. I'm sure your parents will figure it out. Afterwards, it will be much easier without all of the debts, which are a HUGE stressor. I'm sure that is affecting all of you.

Don't be afraid - there will be somewhere for your family if you do have to sell the house.

The economy is tough right now, and it's very easy to get over your head in debt.

It WILL be okay, I have faith.

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((((ariesmars))))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am thinking of you.

BB

(((((((((((((AriesMars))))))))))))))))
You okay? Please, keep talking to us-even if it's just to say that you don't know what to say. I'm worried about you.
Lots of prayers being said for you.

[ariesmars]

still feel the same, i just want to cry

((((((((((((((AriesMars)))))))))))))))))) It's okay to cry, let it out. It's going to be okay, AriesMars. It doesn't seem like it now but it DOES.
More hugs!!!! (((((((((((((((ARIESMARS)))))))))))))))))))