[xx_tpm-life_xx]

My Father use to be an alcoholic and druggie, he cheated on my mom a lot. After they divorced (5-6 years ago) he's had 5+ relationships, 1 illegal marrige which was annulled in 2 months. And 1 engagement and then they "broke up". I just don't know why he likes them more than me. I don't even think he loves me. He started flirting with my mom! And he's mean to me. He always puts me down and says, that's stupid. You'll never be like that (when I was talking about my diet) and always converts God into it, don't get me wrong I'm a Christian but every 2 seconds from a hypocrite? He talks about my mom too, like he's the better parent when I have to call to try to make plans and almost beg him to spend time with my. My mom and psychologist want me to tell him how I feel but I have before and that got me no where. He'll most likely laugh in my face or cry like he did last time and scream at me and yell it's really scary tbh. Any advice? :/

[Rohag]

Hello, xx_tpm-life_xx.

Wow.

My impression is that your father has his own extensive list of issues and lives in his own reality. Any attempt by you to make yourself understood is at present almost doomed to failure. I am uncomfortable with anyone - mother, psychologist included - making you responsible for the improbable.

Some might suggest you write a "letter" to your father about how you feel and simply not send it. I think it important to be honest with yourself about how you really feel without feeling constrained by other people's "shoulds."

[(JD)]

Well, it's obvious from what you said that your dad doesn't know how to love...and maybe that's from his own upbringing where he didn't have a good role model?

It's important when talking to men that you are doing something else while talking... men don't do the sit down and talk act well at all imo. Guys often chat while shooting hoops, for instance.

Then, while it's personal to you, try to state things matter of factly... your feelings about it... You know Dad, when you xxxx that really made me mad and made me feel like you don't love me either... sentences like that. It may be he needs to know how to phrase things too, especially his feelings? Be ready for what you would like him to say or do to show he really does love you (I suspect he does...)... and maybe make a truce with him that when you are together you won't xxxx (talk about his nor your past? stuff like that?) but focus on dreams or desires?

Good wishes!

[xx_tpm-life_xx]

Thanks so much guys!