I despise myself terribly

I dislike myself quite terribly. I simply try to be out of people's way. And I'm simply too much of a coward to give up this space.

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I'm sure you have good qualities but your mind is just not letting you see them. I know when I'm in a depressive state all I can see is the bad. Have you sought professional help? Might be good time to start if you haven't.

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Underneath all that pain is a good and beautiful person. Don't give up on yourself. You have a place here. Seek help and talk to us.

i used to hate myself in a bad way i guessing most people do i think you will find its just somthing we humans go through and it will pass

One often encounters people should should dislike themselves a little bit but in fact are quite pleased with themselves. More sensitive and introspective people can go too far the other way and see nothing but fault in themselves. I expect you fall into the latter group and are being a little hard on yourself.

Yeah, I have plenty of moments like that. But also I have moments like "To hell with everyone else!!!" or moments like "... @~!%&*****@~#:£%^!!!!! ..."

So I suppose those different moments balance out one another...

Oh, and by the way... it's not that you're "too much of a coward" as you said... You know you have a lot to lose if you give up.

You know there is happiness and peace out there somewhere, and you want to find it.

It will be quite a journey, but you'll get there.