[Emilie]

Have you ever gotten the feeling that you feel alone? I mean where the only person that is there for you is yourself? I know this post is starting to sound emo-ish but bear with me please. lol Anyways I've noticed that throughout my life nobody has really been there for me. What I mean is...I never let anybody help me or anything I've always depended on myself. Ever since I was little I've always had to deal with not having any or the 'best' of friends and being picked on and such.

And really once I think about it, relying on my two feet isn't really such a bad thing. I actually think it's a good thing-but it gets so tiring now and then. Sometimes I wish there someone there who could cheer me up besides my parents or maybe-yes maybe somebody that would stand up for me when I get teased now and then.

Those who don't know me-yes I get teased. It's really not all the time, my guess is it happens once a week or none at all. Which is somewhat fortunate compared to what other kids around America have to put up with. Anyways I get picked on by the guys, not the girls which is odd in my case you would think a 15 yr old gal like me would be tortured by brainless preps...but no lol I don't know why the guys at my school pick on me-but who cares right? Anyways they mostly tease me about me being quiet, my ethnicity, and the way I look. Well...they don't exactly come up to me and go,

' Mally you are so flippin ugly!'

It's more of,

'Oh Mally your soooo sexy! Can I be your boyfriend!!'

Then they'd come up to me and try to wrap their arms around me or around my waist and I'll just shove them off or uncomfortably scoot away from them. Anyways this happens often, but it's not as bad as it sounds...well actually it is but I've come to deal with it. Also guys(who are jerks) in my classes (who sit behind me)will run their fingers through my hair or touch my back or my ultimate favorite(sarcasm people) getting up in the middle of class and walking down the aisle so they can brush their fingers against my shoulder or head.

Real sick isn't it? My friend on the other hand gets picked on by the preps or by other rude piggish girls at my school. In all honesty I'd rather get picked on by the preps then by the guys.
For my friend, when she's down I mean, I try my best to cheer her up or just be by her as a friend. Now whenever I get picked on at school and I go off to lunch with my friend Yinny I try my best to put on a smile and act like everything is hunky dory just so she won't worry about me or something.

But whenever she's sad or just really peeved I always try to make her tell me whats wrong or to rant about it, even though she hates me when I nag at her like that. Just cause I know how it feels to keep it all inside and I don't want her to end up like me. A quiet, shy, odd ball, loner. You see I'm a major pleaser from what people tell me. You see, if your sad or mad or need anything I'll by there. Think of me like Samwise Gamgee! lol

'I'm coming Mr Frodo!! lol'

Now I like being a pleaser, just cause it makes me feel happy-actually happy! If I make you smile, laugh or anything you just made my crappy day to a 'walkin on sunshine' day!! lol But sometimes I feel really tired of it, cause I wish I had my own 'Samwise Gamgee' to push me back up when I'm down. But I guess when your born with standing on your two feet you got deal with it. I was born this way so I'm dealing with it-besides I doubt anybody who would want to be by my side! They'd be pretty brave/stupid if they wanted to be <font color="#000088"> </font>

i love "The Shining" also. i used to scare my teens when they watched it.

you know what you're describing is sexual harrassment at school? and i remember school. i was messed with like that and never reported it because i knew what kind of a fuss it would cause. i think teenage boys can be mighty nasty and difficult at times. i'm sorry they do that to you.

i've always been pretty independent. it has it's good and bad points. being alone a lot sucks, but otherwise i'm pretty content.

xoxoxo pat

[Emilie]

Hey thanks for commenting, it really means allot to me ^.^ Anyways I'm glad that I found someone I can relate too lol

[Direction]

I tend to be very independent - so much so - at the cost of relationships.

I agree with fayerody...Another fine line on how to handle this. Do you at all feel comfortable talking to someone about what is happening...ultimately I think it needs to be reported to the proper people. Just take one step at a time, unless there is more violation going on then you wrote - if so it would be that time.

All that you describe is inappropriate for boys to be doing...

[Emilie]

Yeah, I have talked to my mum about it and such and so far she's been telling me to just ignore them or if it does get to far I should tell the teacher( like they would care anyways lol) . Anyway, nothing worse has happened so far...so I'll just keep ignoring them or pray for a class that doesn't have them in it next school year lol

P.S. Thanks for commenting, it means allot to me ^.^

[Direction]

Your welcome...Since you have already talked to your mum, why don't you let her know the ignore idea seems to be working on the outside; however, your insides are really being hurt...

[Emilie]

Thanks, I'll keep that in mind