Job Interviews While Depressed?

Wow, so I finally have three interviews coming up tomorrow and Thursday. Problem is, I've been battling depression and anxiety really bad for the last month or so.

I'm trying to prepare answers and whatnot, but I'm scared to death they will be able to see my depression loud and clear.

Someone mentioned "fake it til' you make it". I'm certainly doing to try.

And, last time I interviewed I was a size 12/14. I've gained a ton of weight and now wear a 22/24. I found a couple of decent suits, but I have heard that there is bias against heavy people. I do keep my hair and makeup decent, so I hope that is enough.

I'm scared to death. I've always been weird in the past that interviews didn't really scare me that much, so why now?

Oh, and also, the reason I quit my job in January was because I lost my dad last March and my mom on December 30th. I can explain the time lapse as having to take care of their estates maybe. What do you think? Then, I'm afraid if I mention it, I will get teary-eyed. I will have to go into being an only child, and although they were divorced, neither had re-married.

I am full of anxiety just typing about it!

Hope the interviews go well...for the lapse in time...keep it very simple and truthful such as...Family Emergency. This will (I hope) keep you from the teary-eyes...

I've hired a lot people over the last 15 years - weight is not a factor when I hire. Attitude/Character are always number one. Depending on the position I will hire that person with the right attitude/character over someone who may have more skills. Second I hire based on skill set (This is a combination of (experience and education). A nice balance between the two are nice - however, I have hired with no experience and I have hired with no education.

Most people won't be able to detect the depression - I know I think everyone somehow knows...

If you have specific questions - I would be more than happy to give I hope a good answer.

Thanks again Direction. Are you feeling better? I tried to post last night but I was over my newbie quota of posts yesterday.

Yes better - thanks for asking...

While it depends on what feild you are in, most employers will look past the weight. They look for a clean, neat, well kept appearance. It gives the impression that you care about yourself and thats transfers to you will care about your job. (I'm not sure whether I made sense or not)

I agree with Direction, when explaining the breaks. Keep it simple and general in nature. In fact people are more inclined to give a deeper answer than needed. It when you think about the details that you need the kleenex so stay away from your trigger words.

While it sounds trite and overused...Get a good night's sleep and breathe deeply. Listen to your favorite music. Do whatever you need to help relax.

Remember also, the person interviewing you knows that you are nervous. Don't expect perfection from yourself...your human. If the interviewer is good, he/she should help you feel at ease.

Will be keeping you in my thoughts.
Good Luck

Let us know how the interviews go!

I am overweight, but compact, for lack of a better word . I wear an 18, but I weigh a lot more than an 18 ought to. I was a 22/24 at my highest.

I most definitely have lost jobs because of my size. For behind the scenes jobs it doesn't matter a bit -- I have been successfully employed for most of the last 20 years (except time off for critical illness, etc). But I have made a few attempts to move from my field into a related one that would require me to be a media spokesperson -- folks who end up on TV news a lot -- and I absolutely have been discriminated against that way even though I aced the interviews and got repeated callbacks.

I have a girlfriend who weighs over 350 and it took her a year to get a job, because she looks fabulous on paper but when people meet her their faces fall and they find excuses not to hire her. In a wonderful case of positive karma, she got hired by an eating disorders group, finally!

I don't mean to be a downer, just wanted to add a "voice of experience," for the little it's worth.

Good luck to you -- PM if you want to talk/vent.

Candy

I feel like I messed up a job interview that I had two weeks by saying something defeatist during the interview. It just slipped out.

I agree that we can give off signals when we are depressed, and it is just soooooooo hard to even get going for them. Mine was a whole-day affair of interviews, a luncheon, a teaching demo, and I almost walked out around noon saying "I just can't do this." But that would have been even harder than staying, so I did.

Best wishes with this. Give yourself a lot of credit for doing this while depressed, for even having the energy and will to line up three interviews.

I heard recently (can't remember when or where) that being overweight can effect whether you get a job. But not for the reason you might be thinking...."don't like how I look."

Health Risk!

With medical plan costs going through the roof an employer will choose the thinner person. And may even sacrifice qualification because statistically the thinner person is less of a health risk.

And we all know money talks!

I'm guessing this happens - I have not actually heard anyone doing this. My city word has a tendency to get around pretty quick.

I'm 5'7" and 220-225 lbs - puts me at about 42 waist - this would be considered overweight. I'm in a fairly high position and feel that I earn in the top 5% of people in similar positions for the area. I have been at this weight for about 15 years.

Again it probably does happen...just not sure that it is that wide spread...

Thankfully, employers don't know of my chronic health issues before I get hired -- but I certainly jack up their health care costs once I'm there, between the psych stuff and the blood clotting disorder.

I'm worried someday we'll get to the point where they can screen for all that beforehand and I'll be unemployable. I'm already uninsurable, unless it's in a group plan....

I know of a place or two who got caught picking people using beauty as a part of the criterion. A clothing store in the mall was one. However, I suspect that few jobs will do that.
As for screwing up interviews, I cried in the middle of an interview because I thought that I would never find a job. I am looking for work again and pray that I willl never meet that guy again. So, if you do screw up the interview, remember that others have gone before you and screwed it up too. He/she will know that you are nervous.
I am not sure how to fake confidence. My T said that line about faking it until you get it. I didn't care much for that line but it is the same as saying that one has to practice any knew behaviors to get good at them. I would say that some places allow you to practice interviews. Workforce development in my area has a program of practice interviews. Then you get advice on what you can do better on. I am to chicken to do it because I think that if I am going to make a fool out of myself, I might as well do it while trying to get a job.

Hey AB

Grab all that inner strength form inside and go for it, impress, impress, impress......size shouldn't matter.

I got my current job when I was totaly depressed....I mean really bad...... I just let the real person shine through for the hour.........also you would be surprize of how many people suffer from it........maybe one of the interviewers.

Take care and GOOD LUCK

Yes, Candy, you and a lot of others are concerned about pre-employment screening determining employment. I don't mean drug testing but conditions like diabetes (sp?), high blood pressure, etc.

Health care cost for employees affect the bottom line...profits are the name of the game. Don't believe me, look at the American auto companies. They all have labor union contracts being negotiated this summer. Two top items on the agenda -- pensions & health care costs.

Direction, I'm about your dimentions, a few pounds heavier and 4" larger in the waist. I wasn't trying to be contrary or an alarmist. America depends on its small to mid-size companies but like it or not big business rules. I was once apart of management. Thanks to my depression I'm reduced to learning how to submit posts to forums (graphics are beyond me), not knowing whether I'm suppose to use waste or waist and using a dictionary to spell every other word I type. Besides "you can agree with me or be wrong" Saw that on a T-shirt tonight.

I certainly wish ab1018 the best.

The first interview was a joke - I found out before I went that the company is going under (I'm an accountant and want no part of that).

Second went well, pays $18K LESS than my last job.

Third went well too, it only pays $15K LESS than my last job.

That is depressing. And I wasn't grossly overpaid by any stretch.

Thinking about taking one of them if offered and keep looking. Hate to do that to someone. Thoughts anyone?

You really can fake it for an hour or two. It also helped me realize that I need outside validation - I felt really good after the two today. Why can't I make myself feel like that?

I know it's hard -- I lost my last "good" job (i.e., one that paid well) in 2001 and finally had to take one that dropped my salary by 1/3. I haven't ever recovered.

It's hard validating yourself, too. Before I went to the interview for the job I have now, I had a total meltdown in the parking lot, major crisis of confidence -- the old OMG, what am I doing here, who am I kidding, I can't really do this job, etc. I left a message for my ex-boss (who was always free with the compliments about my skills), took a deep breath, marched in there and faked being confident, and they loved me. Go figure.

If I could figure out how to be that nice to myself on a regular basis, I would write a bestseller and make a zillion dollars. If you figure it out before I do, let me know!

As for whether you should take one that pays a lot less -- depends on a lot of things, such as how bad you need the money and how many opportunities there are in your area. Maybe sit down with a piece of paper and make a pros and cons list?

Good luck -- I'm rooting for you.

CB

Thanks candybear. If I take the one that is $15K less, that is a 1/3 drop in income too. Hard to take when gas is over $3 per gallon. I haven't made that little of money since 1998. And I've finished my degree since then.

I may have to take it though. Do you think it would be horrible to keep looking, or should I turn it down and just do temp work? That is like gambling though

I don't think it's horrible at all to take it and keep looking -- as long as you don't have a habit of that. My sister runs two companies and one of my best friends is in HR, and they both say that it's OK to leave one job in a relative hurry as long as you stay at your next one for a reasonable amount of time, two years or so. Recruiters will understand "it was a bad fit" -- you don't necessarily have to tell them why.

I've done my share of temp work, too -- at least where I live, it's really hit and miss as to whether you even get placed, and how long the placement lasts. And because I am not "proficient" in things like Excel (I'm a journalist, WTF do I need to use Excel for? -- I figured out the little I know while I was taking the temp placement test, LOL), I can't get the well-paying temp jobs. I always end up doing filing for a week or something.

Since you have more marketable skills , you could probably do pretty well in a temp job (I know there is a whole temp agency specializing in accountants) but I'd go for the better job security and just keep looking.

That's my .02, which is worth probably less than that. Good luck.

Candy

Continue to pursue the second two aggressively...if your not sure what I mean PM me...

When you win them over you may be able to close the gap on income...For the right person, we have hired significantly over what we budgeted for...just remember when you are hiring you are trying to get the best person that fits into your budget constraints...when interviewing you are trying to get the best company match that also fits your budget.

I've had to go several times to a supervisor with justification of why this particular person was right for the job and discussed how much more could be allotted. There is only one thing to keep in mind - this sometimes has an effect on future raises, so that your pay comes back in line to their budget. I was hired at $10,000 over what was budgeted...however didn't see an income change until the third year...

Also another strategy is to suggest that in 90 days that if things are going well that a bump occur. I did this also, gave me an additional $2,000 (not with the same company)

Make yourself indispensible...