Need Interviews for School Newspaper (Possible Trigger)

Keep in my mind that this post could be a trigger.

I'm sure this has been done a million times, but I could really use your help. I am writing an article about self-injury to raise awareness, help those dealing with it, and to inform the ignorant people who think cutters are just looking for attention.

I used to be a cutter when I was about 13, stopped when I was about 14/15, and I know it's going to be a constant battle for the rest of my life. So this is the most important article I've written thus far and I could really use some honest answers from you guys.

Just copy and paste the following "questionaire" and fill it in...you can choose not to answer any of the questions, just please include the basic age, name, and sex (give me any name you want, i just need something to identify you with if i quote you).

Name:
Age:
Sex:
Location:
Age when you first self-injured:
How long have you been self-injuring (months, years):

What are/were some of your triggers (i.e. fights with parents, school work, getting dumped, etc.)?

What did you know about self-injury before you started? How?

What made you start self-injuring? (the specific incident or trigger if you can remember)

Why do/did you self-injure? How does/did it make you feel better?

How do/did you feel before, during, and after the self-injury?

Have there been any health scares that resulted from your self-injury (emergency room visits, etc.)? Did you continue to self-injure despite this?

If you've been to a psychiatric hospital could you describe your experience? Did it help you? Why or why not?

If you still self-injure do you think you will ever stop? Do you want to stop? Why can't/won't you stop?

If you don't self-injure anymore why did you stop? How did you stop? How hard is it to refrain from doing this?

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? If so, which ones (OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)?

P.S.- This article won't be turned in until January 31st, so you guys can keep posting all the way up until the 30th.

Oh, and I forgot to add that if any of you simply have something you would like people to know about self-injury that would be a big help as well. Pretty much any and all comments about self-injury are very welcome.

*I may have to clean up the internet speak (ppl=people, etc.) a bit because that's just how journalism works...generally speaking. If anyone has a problem with that please let me know.

Name: Debbie
Age: 16
Sex: Female
Location: Mahwah, New Jersey
Age when you first self-injured: 11-12 yrs old
How long have you been self-injuring (months, years): 4 1/2-5 years.

What are/were some of your triggers (i.e. fights with parents, school work, getting dumped, etc.)? fights with parents, overwhelming school work, not realizing/admitting my like for girls. always, denied.

What did you know about self-injury before you started? How?
I knew that this boy was doing it. And i heard all the details because he was DEPRESSED. so i thought, why not i try it? maybe it will make me feel alot better. so i did.
What made you start self-injuring? (the specific incident or trigger if you can remember) Honestly, curiosity. Then i got addicted and almost had to get stitches. Then i did it whenever i got really severly depressed.

Why do/did you self-injure? How does/did it make you feel better?
I self injure because i am still severely depressed and frustrated with myself. Sometimes its out of spite too. It makes me feel so much better by just ripping it through my skin, sometimes knowing its out of spite and somethings just thinking i want to die. and maybe i will.

How do/did you feel before, during, and after the self-injury?
Before i feel so pumped up to do it, so ready and determined, during it i feel so good, so better--then after i regret everything i done. the outcome.

Have there been any health scares that resulted from your self-injury (emergency room visits, etc.)? Did you continue to self-injure despite this?
No ER visits, but five hospitalizations due to cutting, overdosing, anger, anxiety and depression.

If you've been to a psychiatric hospital could you describe your experience? Did it help you? Why or why not? It did not help me to be honest because i think i didnt try enough, and i still dont. and its a bad habit of mine. i do want to get better but i dont, ambivalent about it. So im going to try DBT therapy for cutting and borderline personality disorder.

If you still self-injure do you think you will ever stop? Do you want to stop? Why can't/won't you stop?
I think i will, i have on and off in the past and present. Its an odd habit i have.

If you don't self-injure anymore why did you stop? How did you stop? How hard is it to refrain from doing this?
I sometimes stop out of no more addiction, or depression and its not that hard. But then, it all of a sudden starts up again and it is VERY hard to control to stop cutting.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? If so, which ones (OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)?
Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, ADD, Multiple Learning Disabled, Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD symptoms, Bulimia, Anerexia, Depression..

hope this helped you...any other questions..PM me

deb

Let us know how your article goes...

Name: Ava
Age: 18
Sex: Female
Location: Florida
Age when you first self-injured: 12/13
How long have you been self-injuring (months, years): bout 6 years. Although I haven't in the past 7 months.

What are/were some of your triggers (i.e. fights with parents, school work, getting dumped, etc.)?

Definitely fights with people. It's that feeling of anger and frustration that builds up that can make me snap. That, along with school work, stressful things (fight with a friend on a day that my car broke down and I lost my dog...etc etc).

What did you know about self-injury before you started? How?

I had seen it on Girl, Interrupted. It intrigued me, so I thought I'd give it a shot.

What made you start self-injuring? (the specific incident or trigger if you can remember)

To be honest, I don't remember. I do think I had to use a variety of things at first...tried scissors, then a knife, but none of them were sharp enough. Eventually I found a razor from a pencil sharpener.

Why do/did you self-injure? How does/did it make you feel better?

For some reason, when I cut and am doing it, it just makes me feel like everything I was feeling is released. All the frustration, the anger, the pain that I cannot express with emotions or words is defined in the cut(s). I don't have to worry about saying it staying inside me longer and eating me alive.

How do/did you feel before, during, and after the self-injury?

Before I know I'm going to cut, it's horrible. It's every emotion you can think of wrapped up into one and the only way I might be able to explain it is severe frustration. When I decide I will cut, I get hyper almost. I'm anxious about it, excited I guess you could say. I find my 'tools' and get settled. My heart races by my mind, for once, is clear. I know what I'm doing. During cutting, I feel good...much better than before. After? Guilty, sad, horrible, a failure, sick, twisted, even more depressed than before. However during the time I 'care' for my wounds, I still feel good. I feel like I've accomplished something. It's when it's all done and said that reality settles in.

Have there been any health scares that resulted from your self-injury (emergency room visits, etc.)? Did you continue to self-injure despite this?

No, not in my case. I probably should have gone once or twice but I never did.

If you've been to a psychiatric hospital could you describe your experience? Did it help you? Why or why not?

Have never been.

If you still self-injure do you think you will ever stop? Do you want to stop? Why can't/won't you stop?

I haven't self injured in over 7 months. Some days, months, weeks, are better than others. In particular these last few weeks have been horrible. I doubt I'll be able to keep myself from cutting now and in the future if I don't seek psychological help.

If you don't self-injure anymore why did you stop? How did you stop? How hard is it to refrain from doing this?

I stopped because I had a death in the family, and instead of coping by cutting, I took into account of how that person could now see me. I wasn't alone when I was cutting anymore, because they were watching and knowing that they could see someone they loved live such a dark secret...I didn't feel it was fair to them. When I made the decision, that was it. And I stopped. 7 months later, here I am. However, I find that as I fall deeper into my depression, it's not longer a question of how long I can keep this streak going, but of when it's going to break.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? If so, which ones (OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)?

To my knowledge, GAD and dysthymia. I also believe I suffer from panic attacks.

Hope this helped.

Name:Claire
Age:18
Sex:female
Location: Aberdeen, Scotland
Age when you first self-injured: 13-14
How long have you been self-injuring (months, years):4 years

What are/were some of your triggers (i.e. fights with parents, school work, getting dumped, etc.)?

What did you know about self-injury before you started? How? I didn't know much about it. A friend of mine had told me about some people from her school.

What made you start self-injuring? (the specific incident or trigger if you can remember) A friend carved a heart on her and me once and then i thought I'd try it out and it made me feel better.

Why do/did you self-injure? How does/did it make you feel better? I got addicted to it and it helps me calm down if i'm stressed out or feeling down. For me it kind of replaces crying - i tend not to cry very often.

How do/did you feel before, during, and after the self-injury? Immediately after I feel calm. The next day i either forget about it or i feel ashamed.

Have there been any health scares that resulted from your self-injury (emergency room visits, etc.)? Did you continue to self-injure despite this? No, there have been no health scares.

If you've been to a psychiatric hospital could you describe your experience? Did it help you? Why or why not?
No

If you still self-injure do you think you will ever stop? Do you want to stop? Why can't/won't you stop? I think I can stop, I've gone long periods of time without it. I hope I can stop for good in the future.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? If so, which ones (OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)? No.

Hope this helps Good luck with the article

Name: Mel
Age:35
Sex:Female
Location:New England
Age when you first self-injured: Around 10
How long have you been self-injuring (months, years): 25 yrs

What are/were some of your triggers (i.e. fights with parents, school work, getting dumped, etc.)?
1. Anger
2. deep sadness
3. frustration
4. situations that cause anxiety or stress
5. sometimes elation triggers me
6. accidently scratch by the cat or burn from spattered oil
7. growing up; school, parents and the dangerous lifestyle
8. List goes on and on, really anything can be a trigger even without any ryhme or reason for it

What did you know about self-injury before you started?Nothing How?

I didnt know that that was what I was doing until I was in my twenties. I actually don't recall when I first heard the term self injurer, but I believe it was one of my therapists.

What made you start self-injuring? (the specific incident or trigger if you can remember)

I can't pinpoint it as there are several but I do know it started around the time my dad got involved in a gang.

Why do/did you self-injure?

As a release, I was not allowed to express any anger, sadness, etc growing up and s/I was a way for me to release it. Altho I did not know then that that was what I was doing.

How does/did it make you feel better?

It feels as though the inner pain is seeping out thru the physical and even tho its only a temp. feeling it feels good like its the only way to let it out. It also gets the focus off of what ever is troubling me.

Have there been any health scares that resulted from your self-injury (emergency room visits, etc.)?

I have always been very careful to not require any medical attention due to s/i as I have an intense fear of being locked up. No one knew I did these things to myself until I was 29 yrs old. Since I turned 29, I have struggled with extreme intense desire to feel a lot of pain and see a lot of my own blood so when I feel that coming on I get help right away b/c it scares me to death....

Did you continue to self-injure despite this? Yes I do

If you still self-injure do you think you will ever stop?

Probably not .... I do go through periods when I do not s/I for weeks even months at a time. But I will always struggle with it and have lapses.

Do you want to stop?

Honetsly, I am not sure. I still have work to do with expressing my emotions and becoming connected so right now , no I do not want to stop b/c right now it is my only feeling of release.

Why can't/won't you stop? Control probably

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? If so, which ones (OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)?

S/I, Bipolar, OCD, PTSD, Borderline Schizophrenia, Borderline PD, anxiety/panic disorder

Name: <font color="#000088"> Rap </font>
Age: <font color="#000088"> 29+++++++ </font>
Sex: <font color="#000088"> female </font>
Location: <font color="#000088"> Utah </font>
Age when you first self-injured: <font color="#000088"> 6 </font>
How long have you been self-injuring (months, years): <font color="#000088"> 30 years </font>

What are/were some of your triggers (i.e. fights with parents, school work, getting dumped, etc.)?
<font color="#000088"> being hurt and not being able to tell someone, being lectured about something and not able to do anything about it (even right then because the lecture doesn't stop), being told that my feelings are wrong or bad, not feeling in control of my emotions, intense feelings that are too much, feeling numb </font>

What did you know about self-injury before you started? How?
<font color="#000088"> Nothing, but I used methods other than cutting. The first time I cut I was 20 and still hadn't heard about self-injury. At that time I thought I was attempting suicide, although all I did was scratches. I got more into using blades after finding out about other people doing that. </font>

What made you start self-injuring? (the specific incident or trigger if you can remember)
<font color="#000088"> The first time I don't know exactly but it had to do with bullies on the way home from school and not being able to do anything about it, and built-up anger that I wasn't able to express. </font>

Why do/did you self-injure? How does/did it make you feel better?
<font color="#000088"> Reasons vary. Sometimes it was to prove that I was hurt, and make it something that I could see so that I could prove (even to myself) that it was legitimate. Sometimes I couldn't take any more and it was a way to make something change. Sometimes it's just easier to deal with something tangible and physical than something vague like emotions that I couldn't see. </font>

How do/did you feel before, during, and after the self-injury?
<font color="#000088"> Before - angry, depessed, out of control. During - numb or excited. After - calm, worn out, scared. </font>

Have there been any health scares that resulted from your self-injury (emergency room visits, etc.)? Did you continue to self-injure despite this?
<font color="#000088"> no </font>

If you've been to a psychiatric hospital could you describe your experience? Did it help you? Why or why not?
<font color="#000088"> I have never been hospitalized, but was taken to the county jail once because I had shredded my face, and neighbors saw me and called the police, and they didn't have any psychiatric services at the hospital there. I hated that, but that was my lowest point and was when I figured out that something had to change. It wasn't the last time I self-injured though - recovery takes longer than that. That was almost three years ago. </font>

If you still self-injure do you think you will ever stop? Do you want to stop? Why can't/won't you stop?
<font color="#000088"> I haven't cut in five months now. I still think about it sometimes, whether or not I have a reason to. But it's not compatible with my goals in life now, so I need to not do it anymore. The thing that scares me is that I'll just do something else instead, and maybe it would be worse. Like maybe hurting someone else or doing something worse to myself. I do hope that this time I'll be able to handle it. In the past, the times when I wasn't cutting were when I was more depressed and too scared to cut, but this time is different. </font>

If you don't self-injure anymore why did you stop? How did you stop? How hard is it to refrain from doing this?
<font color="#000088"> I found a therapist who holds me accountable, and if I get self-destructive, even a little bit, she asks lots of obnoxious questions about why I'm doing that and what I think it's going to accomplish. I know that self-injury only avoids my problems temporarily. It doesn't fix anything, and often makes things worse in the long run. Sometimes it's hard to remember why I should care about not self-injuring, but I don't have to give in and allow myself to do it. </font>

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? If so, which ones (OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)?
<font color="#000088"> Dependent personality disorder, avoidant personality disorder, several major depressive episodes, dysthymic disorder, social anxiety, seasonal affective disorder, generalized anxiety disorder. </font>

Name: Tasha
Age: 14
Sex: Female
Location: England, UK
Age when you first self-injured: 14
How long have you been self-injuring (months, years): About a year

What are/were some of your triggers (i.e. fights with parents, school work, getting dumped, etc.)?
School stress, fights with family, self-hate and low confidence and that whole bundle of dookie, and I don't think I really feel comfortable around my friends because I don't feel like I fit in and that really bugs me, stress and worry in general, depression I guess, exams, perfectionism.

What did you know about self-injury before you started? How?
I actually don't think I knew anything about it. I think I had one friend who I knew had cut herself a couple of times before but that was like it.

What made you start self-injuring? (the specific incident or trigger if you can remember)
I think it was just one bad day, typical bad day, and I just felt bad, and I think there must have been another family fight

Why do/did you self-injure? How does/did it make you feel better?
I cut with nail scissors, so they're always pretty small cuts. It just...it feels like such a big relief and a massive release, like all this stuff that's been pushing down on me and building up in me is just...gone. And it feels so peaceful and my mind just shuts up and I can be calm and rational and sometimes it helps me sleep. It just helps me to let everything go and feel new and refreshed.

How do/did you feel before, during, and after the self-injury?
Before I feel really tense or angry or just like I can't cope. During it's just a matter of waiting because I know when I'm doing it that it's gonna feel better soon so I just have to be patient. And after I'm so calm and controlled and peaceful, and I feel like I can deal again.

Have there been any health scares that resulted from your self-injury (emergency room visits, etc.)? Did you continue to self-injure despite this?
Never had anything bad happen because of self harm.

If you've been to a psychiatric hospital could you describe your experience? Did it help you? Why or why not?
Haven't been.

If you still self-injure do you think you will ever stop? Do you want to stop? Why can't/won't you stop?
I don't think I'll ever completely stop. I think there'll still always be times when I'll just want to do it so badly and I just will. I sort of do want to stop but I don't really care, because the cuts are so small and I really can't believe that I'm actually putting myself in any danger, and I know how stupid that sounds. It's a really selfish thing, to want to keep doing something because it makes me feel good. But it's not hurting anyone else, no one knows I haven't stopped yet, so it's just my own personal private feel-good.

If you don't self-injure anymore why did you stop? How did you stop? How hard is it to refrain from doing this?
The times I have stopped, it was due to my friends who were there for me through all of it. If I wanted to vent, they were there. If I needed distractions, they'd talk to me for hours. I could text or IM them anytime, and they'd always try to help me. I stopped for them, because I didn't like worrying them and I couldn't keep doing that to them. It's so hard to stop, there are the urges and you crave it so badly, and sometimes you just do it, and once you've slipped up once it's even harder to stay away.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? If so, which ones (OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)?
Nope.

Name: Ally
Age: 24
Sex: F
Location: New Zealand
Age when you first self-injured: 19
How long have you been self-injuring (months, years):
5 years
What are/were some of your triggers (i.e. fights with parents, school work, getting dumped, etc.)? Any tiny thing gets me upset, and can trigger it. Also if I get highly angry with someone, and frustrated, when I am feeling ignored and alone.

What did you know about self-injury before you started? How? I had seen it on tv, movies, talked about it in health studies class in school etc, know some other people that do it, or have done it etc.

What made you start self-injuring? (the specific incident or trigger if you can remember) I was feeling like my life wasn't going to get any better. I felt like I was in a downward spiral and couldn't get out.

Why do/did you self-injure? How does/did it make you feel better?
I do it because I don't know what else I can do. I do it because it helps me focus more on physical pain than the horrible feelings I cannot name.

How do/did you feel before, during, and after the self-injury? Like I was a blocked volcano, then I cut to release the pressure, and feel so much better. Then a feeling af guilt follows, and I have to patch it up to hide it.

Have there been any health scares that resulted from your self-injury (emergency room visits, etc.)? Did you continue to self-injure despite this? No emergency room visits from my cutting. Have only just recently admitted I have been doing it.

If you've been to a psychiatric hospital could you describe your experience? Did it help you? Why or why not?
I have not stayed in hospital but I go there to see a psychiatrist who is trying to help me to find other ways of coping. So far we haven't gotten anywhere really.

If you still self-injure do you think you will ever stop? Do you want to stop? Why can't/won't you stop?
Sure, if there was a better easier way of coping with all these indescribable feelings I would stop. of course I want to stop, But at the moment, this is how I cope.

If you don't self-injure anymore why did you stop? How did you stop? How hard is it to refrain from doing this?

Sometimes if I can get out of the house, and go somewhere else, it usually gets my mind off it. But most of the time its on my mind til I cut.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? If so, which ones (OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)?
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder.

Name: kayla fischer
Age: 19
Sex: female
Location: Minnesota
Age when you first self-injured: 13
How long have you been self-injuring (months, years):6

What are/were some of your triggers (i.e. fights with parents, school work, getting dumped, etc.)? school, tension in rooms, angry people

What did you know about self-injury before you started? nothing How?

What made you start self-injuring? (the specific incident or trigger if you can remember) i wanted to kill myself and i just cut instead

Why do/did you self-injure? How does/did it make you feel better?
I self injure because it makes me feel numb and at peace. I also self injure to punish myself for not holding up my standards.
How do/did you feel before, during, and after the self-injury? Numb at peace sleepy

Have there been any health scares that resulted from your self-injury (emergency room visits, etc.)? Did you continue to self-injure despite this? Yes. and Yes

If you've been to a psychiatric hospital could you describe your experience? Did it help you? Why or why not?
Never been there. close though
If you still self-injure do you think you will ever stop? Do you want to stop? Why can't/won't you stop? I think i will stop eventually over time but for now its a back pocket thing. if i need it i know its there.

If you don't self-injure anymore why did you stop? How did you stop? How hard is it to refrain from doing this?

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? If so, which ones (OCD, Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, etc.)?
Bipolar 1 disorder, generalize anxiety disorder, bulimia nervosa

P.S.- This article won't be turned in until January 31st, so you guys can keep posting all the way up until the 30th.

Oh, and I forgot to add that if any of you simply have something you would like people to know about self-injury that would be a big help as well. Pretty much any and all comments about self-injury are very welcome.

*I may have to clean up the internet speak (ppl=people, etc.) a bit because that's just how journalism works...generally speaking. If anyone has a problem with that please let me know.