[ak9840]

Not sure how to address this, but I'll try. I'm not new here, but I haven't been posting a lot.

I spend most of my days feeling like a failure to some degree, either personally or professionally. I can't really take a compliment because it always sounds so back-handed. I am always feeding myself negative thoughts in my head, but they don't always overtake me, but when they do, it hurts. It's like all the negative in the world around me just attaches itself to me like a magnet amd drags me down with it.

The best way I can describe this is that I have happy days (graduation, wedding) but I am not happy. I don't enjoy life. I live it, but don't enjoy it.

During recent therapy sessions, dysthymia was brought up and am wondering if there is anyone who sees themselves in my issues and if that's what I might be dealing with. My psychiatrist prescribed me a low dose of wellbutrin, but I'm just not sure that it's going to help. I just want to know what I'm dealing with so I can better understand it and treat it.

Thank you, all.

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Originally Posted by ak9840

I spend most of my days feeling like a failure to some degree, either personally or professionally. I can't really take a compliment because it always sounds so back-handed. I am always feeding myself negative thoughts in my head, but they don't always overtake me, but when they do, it hurts. It's like all the negative in the world around me just attaches itself to me like a magnet amd drags me down with it.

The best way I can describe this is that I have happy days (graduation, wedding) but I am not happy. I don't enjoy life. I live it, but don't enjoy it.

This sounds exactly how I feel, every single word.

I'm sorry you're going through that. I can only send you a hug:

[FireIsland123]

You are going through quite alot for sure. I share alot of your feelings and symptoms. Therapy has helped. After being on another medication for many years, we decided to make the move to Wellbutrin. Not sure if its the new medication, but I feel much better. I hope it does the same for you.

I spend much of the year depressed. Ocassionally I have a period of feeling better. While I can enjoy things, the sadness always seems to lurk looking for a way to take hold. The difference between the two is whether or not I have hope in my life. Your statement of living without enjoyment rings true for those times I wage the Depression battle. I simply go through the motions.

I realise I have been depressed most of my life - even in childhood.

[gayleggg]

For the most part, I feel depressed and don't enjoy life. It's even hard for me to smile anymore. So I understand your feeling of despair. I hang on for those few days when I glimpse happiness.

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[vital]

Originally Posted by ak9840

.... I just want to know what I'm dealing with so I can better understand it and treat it.

Hi ak9840, I think I know what you're dealing with. See if these notes make sense to you http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB/BA.pdf - vital

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by ak9840

During recent therapy sessions, dysthymia was brought up...

From what I've read (here and here), dysthymia has officially become "Persistent Depressive Disorder." Even though I have a Major Depressive Disorder diagnosis, my experience of depression also tends to be more "persistent" than "episodic."

How long have you been on Wellbutrin? What approaches were you trying earlier?

[yagalada]

I hope it helps for you. Give it a chance, you never know unless you try.