[thekingof8]

After YEARS of trying to better myself and make improvements in my life, I am officially waving the white flag. People either don’t want to help me or they don’t understand me and my condition. I have done everything I can think of, including doing group therapy (which was a giant waste of time), vigorous exercising (which made me even more tense and angry), to seeing career and job counselors (which has done nothing considering I am still stuck in the same crappy industry). I am sick and tired of fighting for my happiness. There are just too many things working against me. I just have to face that at 35 years old, this is who I am. I’m too old to change. There is just no more help available for me that I can afford. I simply waited too long for help.

I hate my job. I hate my life. I hate my living conditions. I have kept trying to say to myself that things can’t get any worse, but every time I end up being proven wrong.

I should also make it clear that this is not a suicide note. I fully intend to live the rest of my long miserable life. I have no idea what else I can do but give up. The only things I haven’t tried are drugs, alcohol, and putting a bullet through my head.

I’m sorry you all had to read this, but I’m just angry and fed up.

[stewartmays1]

same here but what can you do? i think finding a good hobbie can take you mind of it all for a few hours at least

[emijec]

same here, but 33 and huge student loan debt with a crap job. I don't know what the answer is. sometimes I feel like running away and moving to a new place, a fresh start but I don't have the guts to do it. I think that's the answer is to be bold enough to do it and make the change. but we have to get better first. are you taking meds and/or talking to someone? sometimes a short road trip works, even to take your mind off things .

[Clara22]

Hi
The majority of people do not understand. You are right. Even doctors do not understand some things. For issues related to my condition I relay on peers. This is what really works for me. Hope you feel better soon

[emwell]

I've been learning about practicing mindfulness and it is making a big difference in my life

[JohnCrow]

Originally Posted by thekingof8

I hate my job. I hate my life. I hate my living conditions. I have kept trying to say to myself that things can’t get any worse, but every time I end up being proven wrong.

Hey, you're one up on me. I don't even have a job I can hate. And I am 50.

To quote Walter White, "I have watched all of my colleagues and friends surpass me in every way imaginable"

I know your feeling though... I hate when I do everything right and still fail

[Tauren]

How about volunteer work? There's nothing like it for giving you a sense of self-worth.

[thekingof8]

Originally Posted by Tauren

How about volunteer work? There's nothing like it for giving you a sense of self-worth.

I've applied to different places and never heard anything.

[thekingof8]

And this is why I don't bother anymore. People don't want my help, and they don't want to help me. Some people in this world are not meant to succeed. I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of losing.

[Clara22]

May I ask who is people ? I know you may not want to explain yourself and it is your perrogative if you do not want to give details, but I would like to understand better. I am asking because in my experience depression makes us see things as we wear dark lenses. That is one of the tricks of depression to push us lower and lower. Depression is a condition we have, like a bug in our head

[thekingof8]

Originally Posted by Clara22

May I ask who is people ? I know you may not want to explain yourself and it is your perrogative if you do not want to give details, but I would like to understand better. I am asking because in my experience depression makes us see things as we wear dark lenses. That is one of the tricks of depression to push us lower and lower. Depression is a condition we have, like a bug in our head

I have offered to volunteer for the Children's Hospital, Retirement Homes, setting up hockey tournament, Ottawa Senators Foundation. Not one call back.

When I talk about people who don't want to help me, I'm talking about family and co-workers. My job is so stressful (I'm a Grill Cook btw) especially on Fridays, and others are standing around playing on their phones or yapping, waiting for the end of the day.

I've tried explaining my condition to my parents (in particular, my Mother) but they either don't care or are too stupid to understand. I know that's harsh, but I've tried to explain myself the best way possible. I can't explain it any simpler.

[KeepingPace]

I hear you and understand exactly what you mean. Do you think it is biological -as in some lack of function in your brain? Or do you think it is that you were "born under an unlucky star kind of thing?
I've experienced the job I hated too- and finally got a promotion to a position I loved- only to have it ruined by my supervisor- for what ever reasons she had...

[TishaBuv]

Anybody who turns away a volunteer, instead of finding them something they can do, is failing at leadership.

[thekingof8]

Originally Posted by KeepingPace

I hear you and understand exactly what you mean. Do you think it is biological -as in some lack of function in your brain? Or do you think it is that you were "born under an unlucky star kind of thing?

I think it's a combination of both. My Dad is an old crank and the only luck I've had is bad.

[vital]

Originally Posted by thekingof8

And this is why I don't bother anymore. People don't want my help, and they don't want to help me. Some people in this world are not meant to succeed. I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of losing.

There is a positive aspect of giving up

- vital

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by thekingof8

I have offered to volunteer for the Children's Hospital, Retirement Homes, setting up hockey tournament, Ottawa Senators Foundation. Not one call back.

When I talk about people who don't want to help me, I'm talking about family and co-workers. My job is so stressful (I'm a Grill Cook btw) especially on Fridays, and others are standing around playing on their phones or yapping, waiting for the end of the day.

I've tried explaining my condition to my parents (in particular, my Mother) but they either don't care or are too stupid to understand. I know that's harsh, but I've tried to explain myself the best way possible. I can't explain it any simpler.

Wow, it is very frustating, also, your job is really stressful. My depression started when I was experiencing great work related stress and, like you, it was difficult to find people who understood what was going on with me

[thekingof8]

I don't know what else I can do. I'm stressed, I keep getting headaches, my memory is terrible and my patience is non existent. Everywhere I turn, it's a dead end.