[passionfruit3]

I went on a crisis textline tonight and talked about how I didn't want to live because my father is hemorrhaging. And I'm always afraid of losing parents anyway he asked a lot of questions and finally asked if I wanted him to send help I immediately said no don't want to miss Christmas anyway he convinced me to send an email to my therapist asking for help and I did but now I'm scared cause I don't want help and come Monday I may get police at my door just how my therapist is

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[Caelix3]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

I went on a crisis textline tonight and talked about how I didn't want to live because my father is hemorrhaging. And I'm always afraid of losing parents anyway he asked a lot of questions and finally asked if I wanted him to send help I immediately said no don't want to miss Christmas anyway he convinced me to send an email to my therapist asking for help and I did but now I'm scared cause I don't want help and come Monday I may get police at my door just how my therapist is

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Maybe send your therapist another email, explaining you do not want to be hospitalized. But will agree to go to a outpatient depression group? So you are still monitored. I think that is the only way you can get out of going inpatient.

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Originally Posted by passionfruit3

I went on a crisis textline tonight and talked about how I didn't want to live because my father is hemorrhaging. And I'm always afraid of losing parents anyway he asked a lot of questions and finally asked if I wanted him to send help I immediately said no don't want to miss Christmas anyway he convinced me to send an email to my therapist asking for help and I did but now I'm scared cause I don't want help and come Monday I may get police at my door just how my therapist is

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hope you get to feeling better

hugs

[geez]

Outpatient is also a possible option. Check out the local mental health facility.

[cyangreenish]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

I went on a crisis textline tonight and talked about how I didn't want to live because my father is hemorrhaging. And I'm always afraid of losing parents anyway he asked a lot of questions and finally asked if I wanted him to send help I immediately said no don't want to miss Christmas anyway he convinced me to send an email to my therapist asking for help and I did but now I'm scared cause I don't want help and come Monday I may get police at my door just how my therapist is

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If no one came to your door right away, I don't think you have to worry about a visit. I was once talking to someone on a help line, and I realized that it wasn't helping, so after taking pains to let the person know I wasn't suicidal, I ended the call. Police were at my door shortly after. Which just added to my problems, so I was angry. The lesson I learned was not to call help lines again. Which is shame, I think.

[dotcom02]

This situation is like a double sided blade. On one side I understand how you want to be alone. On the other side, the other person cared enough to make sure you were alright. Suicide is not something anyone will risk, there is no second change, there is no redemption. If you called me and talked to me, I would probably show up in person to comfort you. Its human nature. I believe you did the right thing and talked to someone, sometimes anonymously talking to someone makes everything allot better. You reached out to someone which is important but the fact you chose to reach out means something is wrong. They were just making sure you were alright, they cared.

[emijec]

Caelix3 is right. Send a follow up email that you're ok and not at the bridge, u know what I mean? I think the standard is "immediate harm" & they have to report it if they see it. The other advice here is good.

[passionfruit3]

My therapist threatened me not to long ago with the police im just kind of concerned she wont let it go so easy this time since its sort of like a second offense though i haven't harmed myself this time

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Originally Posted by passionfruit3

My therapist threatened me not to long ago with the police im just kind of concerned she wont let it go so easy this time since its sort of like a second offense though i haven't harmed myself this time

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i know what you mean...

but i really hope things work out for you and it won't come to the cops

[passionfruit3]

Its monday and i haven't been able to relax waiting for her call or the cops to come

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[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

Its monday and i haven't been able to relax waiting for her call or the cops to come

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Oh hun, I'm so sorry you've had such stress with this. I don't think the cop will show up at this point.

[passionfruit3]

They didn't come she did call and she wanted to know what was going on that made me feel that way i didn't tell her i said i don't know. Then shes like are you still feeing suicidal .i dont know.i don't know is not an answer do you want me to call someone and assess you. im fine.okay then i wont call.i didn't avoid her on purpose i was really nervous and didn't know what else to say.this mess has no end though she wants to talk to me on Thursday

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[guiltier65]

Originally Posted by cyangreenish

If no one came to your door right away, I don't think you have to worry about a visit. I was once talking to someone on a help line, and I realized that it wasn't helping, so after taking pains to let the person know I wasn't suicidal, I ended the call. Police were at my door shortly after. Which just added to my problems, so I was angry. The lesson I learned was not to call help lines again. Which is shame, I think.

I had the same experience last night. I was talking with a group online and assured them I wasn't alone. They called me kids and the sheriff's dept. I just feel stupid now, like a little girl who cried wolf. I don't feel I did anything wrong, but i do feel ashamed for scaring everyone needlessly. argh....

[cyangreenish]

That's the way you feel right now, and it's understandable. But keep in mind that last night you weren't feeling that way, and you needed the help. You weren't being stupid, and I feel angry at... the world, for making you feel that way.

And we humans also have a protective tendency to not remember horrible pain accurately. When I need reminding of this, I try to think back to times when I was in great physical pain. I usually can't remember the actual pain at all, just the memories of events surrounding it. It's the same, to a large extent, with emotional pain. It's just that, while you can remember, say, seeing a huge gash in your leg, there aren't as many good ways to verify how much emotional pain you were in. So please, please, give yourself a break on this.

About having the authorities called on oneself, I see two possibilities for why people would rather err on the side of caution. One is that they have a real human concern for you, and would rather call in folks and be wrong than not call them and have you hurt yourself. The other possibility is that they just want to cover their butts legally, and I have less sympathy for that. From talking to psychiatrists I know that butt covering is very often the main concern, and my sympathy for that has its limits. (I think it's safe to assume that the online group wasn't in this second category.)

In my case, when the police came, they asked if I had been drinking. I told them the truth, that I had at most a half ounce of vodka. They told me that, legally, they were obliged to take me to the emergency room. Which made sense to me in my emotional state, but was complete nonsense. To them I was just a problem that they wanted out of their lives.