Hi...I'm back with a need for an answer that makes sense...

What happens when you no longer WANT help? When you have no desire left for anything, what happens?

Hello, I am new here. I am sorry you feel so bad.

I can relate. It's like I want to get better so bad. But I'm so sick of fighting and struggling that I feel like the fight just left me. I'm tired. I'm sorry you're in this place. It's a horrible place to be.

Hi Sophie's mom,
I am glad to see you! To me, it happens the first part of your question. Many times I do not want to be helped because I feel I am not fully understood. It is so tiring to have to explain myself, to justify myself because people are prone to "not listen".

Ok - first, I have no idea if you are asking for yourself or for someone else. If you are asking for yourself, the good news is - there is still some small part of you that does want help and is still fighting. I know this because I have been through what you are describing and if there wasn't still some small part of you wanting help you would already have shut down and not be talking to anyone whether in real life or online. I am glad it hasn't got that far. You are just in the beginning stages - the emotional "sense" of it. This can still be turned around.

Consider what got you to this stage. - don't put blame on others or yourself, just consider it

Review the different scenarios in your mind and see if there are any commonalities

Consider those commonalities to determine if they helped the situation in a way that benefitted you - if no, these are things you need to change; if yes, these are things that should remain constant

Review those scenarios again to see how you could have done things differently to benefit you in a healthy manner - try to find a way that will work for most situations

Consider all the things (healthy) you USED TO find enjoyable and do as many of those things as possible each day

Ask yourself how YOU (not others) view yourself and why
Ask yourself how you view others and why - be specific, name the individual

Write letters to each person who hurt you (not to send off) but just for you

Tell the person:

- how you felt about the person (or life if you didn't know the person before the event) before the event

- describe the event that hurt you in as much detail as you can

_ how you felt after the event

- how it affected you then and continues to affect you today

- explain what you would need in order to be able to move on (could be anything - from something you say to the person to something the person says to you to something you give the person or the person gives you or something the person does with or to you or something you do with or to the person)

Write letters to all the people who benefitted you in your life (again not to send off but just for you) basically in the same outline but instead of telling the person the event that hurt you, it would be the event that benefitted you, and instead of what you need to move on, tell them how thankful you are and how you would imagine life if you had never met the person

Doing those things should release some pent up emotions and cause you to want to fight again. If therapists have been bad to you, find new ones. If friends or family have been beating you down - work things out with those that you can n set new boundaries or cut off those that you can't work things out with. If life has been beating you down - just remember you are the one in control of your happiness, life will try to knock you around - its your job to keep yourself on track towards your goal and despite what you may think, you are strong enough to do it or you wouldn't be here! *hugs*

***If your question is for someone else, just pass this along to that person...

You'll lose your relationships one by one.

Depending on your financial situation you may lose all of your belongings, too.

That's pretty scary, huh?

But I think you do want to get better because you wouldn't be asking if you truly didn't care.

Hello sophiesmom: I'm afraid what I have to add here will not be of any help. But, for me, when I no longer wanted help, that was the beginning of my "recovery", such as it is. It's not great & I still struggle. But now I know & accept that there is no help out there for me & I really don't care. That said, I work to simply accept the person I am & the struggles I have... with compassion...