Cant fall a sleep

Hello

It is almost 5 am and i've been trying to fall asleep since 10pm but my mind is so ****ed at the moment all I am thinking about over and over again how
Ive been so close of taking up my knife tonight like so many times for the past year and cut my self but i dont know why i cant do it , its not that im afraid of the pain my hands have scars all over the place and i havent cut my self since last may and for a month now i realy want to start cuting again and feel this pain that i self inflickt

Bah... I realy was just gona ask for an advise on the sleep and how to calm my self down i had a way to calm my self down when im like this but for about 2 weeks now nothing has worked other than staying awake until im so tired that i could fall asleep at my chair

Hi I'm so sorry no one has replied yet, I only just saw this post. I expect you already know what there is to know about 'sleep hygiene', if not, it's worth a Google.

MUCH MORE IMPORTANT if you're still feeling this desperate, I urge you to phone whatever crisis or suicide helpline you have in your country. The British Samaritans have helped me many times when I have been at my wit's end in the middle of the night or early morning.

They value you as a human being and are always pleased when someone who needs them phones. You don't even need to be capable of speaking, they will still be there with and for you.

I urge you, don't suffer alone. You don't need or deserve to.

This reply is heartfelt, I have had similar thoughts and know something of the distress and pain that goes with it. Please phone for support, it makes a difference.

Hello Tomatocloud: Welcome to PsychCentral! I'm so sorry you are experiencing such difficulty. I would like to second Fizzyo's recommendation that you consider calling a crisis or suicide-prevention helpline in your country... or, if possible, reach out to someone in real life. PsychCentral is a great place to gain support as well as to obtain mental health related information. However, from what you wrote, it sounds as though you may be in need of more direct intervention than we can provide. But, also, keep posting here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more you'll gain from the time you spend here.

I have problems with sleep as well. I will wake up in the middle of the night & not be able to go back to sleep. When this happens I get up & do walking meditation. I simply walk slowly around-&-around our dark & quiet townhome. I pay light attention to each foot as it touches the floor. Thoughts come & thoughts go. I don't dwell on them or try to repress them. I simply watch them as they swell & pass away. I find that I actually enjoy this. Perhaps you might give it a try. I wish you well...